The Final Test

I was breathing heavily upon entering the area, the air is warm and humid which adds up to my nervous state. The sun was scorching hot and the rays are hitting my skin which makes me perspire more than usual. I looked at the time - 2:00 pm. My friend Mr. Gray patted me on the back and asked: "Are you OK?" 

I gave him a resounding "Yes."

I have to be OK. It's not a matter of life and death, it's a matter of dying and death. I've waited long enough to make sure I push through this, thought about this a million times and also branched out questions on possibilities that may arise.  

I felt a surge of chill run down from my spine. Creepy but still, I want to take this, this isn't just for me, it's for the future.

The assistant handed a sheet of paper for me to input my personal information, I duly accomplished it and waited for my turn to see the professor. I cringed the thought of going here, the thought of dragging myself and wasting my time. God! I'm so ambivalent! Or maybe it's the nerves making me nearly shake my knees and shatter me to a million pieces.

The professor from the room gave me an interesting head-to-toe stare as if she was looking for a peculiarity from my physical attributes, looking for an oddness from my posture, looking for something...

She called my name and I gladly obliged to go inside the room, gave me a few pointers, gave me my paper and made me go to a room downstairs.

I can clearly remember the room, it was 104, the dreaded exam room, a lot has failed and cried in this room, I can still hear their echoes, bawling from failure, begging mercifully for a re-test but the proctors here are harsh, quite harsh. A failure is a mortal sin. No re-takes, no re-tests, and absolutely no kneeling for compensation! Try to have more pride! You deserve it you insolent fool, you deserve it!

The proctor saw me from afar and gave me a wide smile. I was thinking that her smile is quite devilish, one that would think otherwise from entering but my guts told me to have more glory. I slowly entered with baby steps just to make sure.

She asked for my paper and I handed it to her without questions, I don't think I want to ask any. She told me to sit still, don't move, she gave me the test. I closed my eyes and let my mind fly.

"You're done!" The proctor told me with that devilish smile again. I gave her a faint smirk to show how civil I can be.

"This will just be fast, you can get the result in about 30 minutes."

Oh gosh! In 30 minutes time I will see the fruits of my labor. It got me giddy but I can still feel some butterflies in my stomach wanting to get out. I forced them to go back inside, not yet, not until I can see with my own two eyes the result of my hardship.

Ding-dong! The professor waited while the assistant handed the result, his facial expression is neutral, nothing at all, no happiness, no sadness, no nothing. That got me quite worried.

The professor looked at the paper intently as if wanting to change the result. 

"Come in, Guyrony." She called me to go into her room again. My heart went to a split second halt then it went thrashing and violently reacting in my chest. It was painful but I had to bear with it. Not until I see the result. I echoed this thought again in my head.

"You passed." She handed me over the paper, gave me a heart-melting smile and thanked me gleefully. Whew, I thought I would never see the light of day again, failing is definitely not an option.

I sat down and let all the butterflies in my stomach fly through mid-air with their colorful wings and sporadic nature, I let out the last one and gave out a deep but relieving sigh. 

I'm Negative.