Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Cloud Storage

One week and three days. That's how long we have broken up.

I still think of you from time to time. But not like last week. I did cry a little, but not as much as I lost Chloe, my pet cat.

Ate asked me over the weekend if you're coming over. She told me she feels different with you not around over the weekend, especially Sundays. I do too.

I smiled at her and told a white lie. I told her you were busy with work.

Oh yeah, congrats on being promoted too. I know you deserve the promotion.

You were never my world. I told you that beforehand. You were part of it, yes, a large part of it, but never my world.

My sadness has ebbed for now. Our memories I hold dear. Our trips, our dinner dates, our lunch-outs - all stored within a small part of my memory. They can never be replaced thanks to you.

And as I browsed through photos of our pictures together: in Cebu, in Ilocos, in Serenitea, I think we had a great time. And we did our best to make it work.

So our photos will be stored in Google Drive where I can look at them from time to time and think of you from time to time. And hope that you think of me from time to time as well.




"There are no good or bad breakups. Just breakups."

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Lies, Lies, and More Lies

When an ex-partner tells you after your break-up that he'll always be there even though...


Dude, we won't even break up if you told me you'll always be there.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Obsession

Ten percent body fat percentage - this is my goal until April of 2015.

Recently, Fitness First came to our office to look for eligible members to join their gym. I had no plans of joining Fitness because their rates are expensive, but I did try their machine where it indicated your BMI, fat %, muscle mass %, basal metabolic rate, and metabolic age.

I was never so conscious of those numbers aside from the BMI and BMR. It was something I felt very trivial and insignificant, but lo and behold, when the lady handed me the paper and told me that I have to increase my muscle mass percentage, I was quite surprised.

What's more surprising is that I have never paid attention to body fat percentages ever. Ever. And when the results came out of 17% BF percentage, I immediately looked at the web to check what those numbers stood for.

Apparently 17% is an average number and one where a person's muscles are already on their way but not yet showing much. I calculated my years weightlifting and got frustrated just because I have been going to the gym for nearly 6 years and yet still no signs of an 8-pack even a 6-pack.

I got so frustrated that I did more research and checked the differences in body fat percentages.

And so here I am obsessing on slimming and leaning down more. I can't help it. It's in my nature to obsess over these things. Even if I do try to distract myself, and believe me I have done ways to distract myself, it's mostly ineffective.

So for now I am in a very strict regimen of once a week cheat days with a couple of days of one-meal-per-day of a cup of rice, aside from the fact that I have started transitioning to semi-vegan (cow's milk still in the diet but no eggs).

It's working. It's still an adjustment phase for me but so far so good. I'm hoping to lean down to 10% body fat percentage with an increase in muscle mass by April.

I can do this.

I need to do this.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

28 And Counting

"One year older and none the wiser." I posted on Facebook last week.

Ah yes, it just seems yesterday that I had been 27. Now I am 28.

The big 2-8. Gosh, I can't believe I'm that old already. When I started blogging and hanging out with other bloggers I was rather young at that time. Been blogging for six years and counting.

I feel so old. Ugh.

Being 28 puts me into another perspective of my life, primarily my life goals.

I remembered when K and I were having dinner. He was asking me why I'm studying again. I told him I want to know more and I really want to go into the academe. He told me outright how non-lucrative that is. I quite agree. But I feel teaching is my calling. And so here I am completing post-graduate studies.

Although at times I feel I should be doing something else, investing something else. People nowadays are into investments and variable insurances. I have yet to establish that having just began investing last February. It's better to have started now than not start at all, as people say.

So, 28. Hmmm...Really, I cannot define what I am feeling right now nor what I should be feeling right now. I seem okay with my age, yet feel I am not okay with where I am with my age.

I feel like starting a business yet think that I need to finish studies first then business after.

I feel like purchasing a real estate before inflation hits again, yet cannot get out of studies because I really want to go into the academe badly.

Intersections are part of living. Every step you take will take you to a branching road often with streets, roads, and avenues to take.

I'm 28 and I know I feel 28, although metabolically I'm 22.

Yet maturity wise? I feel 18 years old.

What's next for me then?

Well, perhaps by 29 I shall know.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Venti Soy, No Whip, Extra Foam, White Chocolate Mocha

There I was at the coffee shop again sipping my drink while doing paperworks for school.

I glance every now and then at the crowd around me. No one interesting.

My eyes returned to the cup of coffee I am indulging and then back to the laptop on the table. Waiting for me to tap it. Make love with it again. Paperworks.

I flicked through my laptop on the e-book's next page and wrote down on my 2012 planner. My mind still cannot comprehend much when I cannot write notes down. It's still something I am difficulty adjusting to.

I cupped the coffee again and took a quick sip. I opened my phone's data and tethered it to my laptop.

Opened Facebook, GMail, LinkedIn, GSMArena, PhoneArena, Pocket-lint, Pocketnow, Yugatech, Medscape, NCBI, and another Google tab (as if I don't have a lot going on).

The coffee grew colder and the time advanced. I became unaware. Engulfed in reviews. Engulfed in news feeds.

I arrived at the coffee shop early morning and yet it's nearly lunch and I haven't finished much.

"Oh well, that will have to wait." I muttered to myself as I become entranced in the latest gadget reviews.

I swiped my laptop's screen and go back to the e-book. Again, I hold my planner which serves as my notebook and write again.

A few minutes passed and my hand started to get sore again. Writing for long periods of time makes my hand go sore. I have not seen an orthopedic doctor nor a neurologist.

"Immunology, B-cells, T-cells, CD4 count, macrophages, neutrophils, basophils, eosinophils" - I write down everything but comprehend almost nothing. I write down notes but do not understand them completely.

The sun was setting, there was still much more to do, but I was not able to finish what my purpose was when I entered the coffee shop.

I felt bored and uneasy. I cupped my coffee which was nearly empty and glanced around at the people again. It's a noisy place and yet I still have the patience to stay there and do what I have to do.

I closed the e-book, closed the browser, turned the data and tether off of my phone, packed my bag, and decided to go home.

And I just spent 200 pesos on a Sunday.