Myth Busters

Because some people really have no idea what they're talking about...

1. You're gay therefore you like to dress as a woman.
No, it's not like that. Some do and that is what they want. Times have changed. We have nothing against the cross-dressers. They are just expressing themselves, but we have our own expression, our own style. Believe it or not, gay men actually dress more stylish than straight.

2. I'm a straight man and you're gay. You wanna have sex with me.
Are you kidding? With the abundance of gay men swimming around, we might as well stick to them.

Puh-lease. Not because you're straight and we want to be friends with you mean we wanna sleep with you.

P.S. Gays nowadays are hot. As in H-O-T!

3. You're in a relationship? Are you the man or the woman?
There are some instances where two guys have different roles in the relationship: one is more accustomed towards female duties while the other is towards the male, but nothing, and I mean nothing, like a man or a woman per se at all. We're equals.

4. Gay guys are really promiscuous.
Excuse me. Men, in general, are promiscuous, not just gay guys. Get your facts straight. Pun intended.

5. Gays pay guys for relationship.
One of the most irritable stereotyping ever. You know, it's true that some gay guys pay men for them to be their partner and we can't blame them. That's their thing. But times have changed, not because you're in a relationship with another man does not mean you want to get his money through his pants or something like that.

While I Run

When I'm angry, I run longer. I have noticed that when I was first rejected by a guy.

I care not to stop. I care not to halt. I care not even though it was getting dark.

Running has always been an outlet for me. A ventilation of some sort. It is an activity where I let all my frustrations go and just get it out of my system. It might be tiring but the wind against your body is exhilarating. The chilliness of the weather would not stop me nor the heat of the sun. It is one of those weekly activities I look forward to especially if work-school-gym had been stressful in that particular week.

I run on weekends. If I haven't mentioned that yet. I run in Manila Memorial Park which is actually in front of our subdivision. Sometimes I run inside BF Homes, threading along huge houses and huge trees along Phase 3. But I run more at the former than the latter. I used to run in Bonifacio Global City, where my office was formerly located. I like running in new places. I like the new views and the new scenery. Sometimes, when I run on a different place, I do not think of the distance nor the quality of my run, I just want to experience the new surrounding.

I sing when I run. I don't care if people see me as crazy or not. I like to sing when I'm alone and when I run, I'm alone. I sing at the top of my lungs or snap my fingers to the beat. I used to raise my hands up and do a fist pump but I figured that was even awkward.

Alone time. Personal space. That's what I think of when I exercise. It's a form to be alone. And you know it helps me a lot. Frankly, I don't like jogging buddies. I hate the idea of having to run the same pace and to wait for your buddy. My pace, my time, my rules.

Goals. I think of my goals when I run may it be short, medium or long-term ones. Like what I have said, running provides me a time to be by myself and I take it as a luxury.

I have never joined a Fun Run. I think they're overrated and over-hyped. There was a time when my partner invited me last October to run at Nike's Duo Run on December which is a 10K run. I kindly declined. I told him P1800 for a run that short is not worth it. I run longer than 10K on a weekly basis. I'd rather save that amount for apparel or shoes. And then out-of-the-blue my officemates last December invited me for that 16K run in Cavitex under 7'11". I accepted their challenge. I told my partner about it, only to cause a huge argument about me saying 'yes'. And when my officemate already had me registered and told me to pay the P800 to a nearby 7'11 store, I declined as well. I figured P800 could be my allowance for a week.

I don't have to prove myself to people. I think people do those 21K or 30K or 42K runs to prove themselves. To test how far they could endure. That they are strong. I know I am stronger than before. I don't need those to tell me how strong I am.

When I'm angry, I run longer. And I don't plan to stop anytime soon.

Types of Gym Guys

But there is much, much more.

11. Brandissimos. These are guys who sport the newest Nike dunks, the latest Clima Cools, and the flashiest New Balance. You can see them roaming around the gym yet lifting so little.

But of course who would want to ruin their new apparel with sweat, right?

12. Buddy-buddy System. The guys who cannot even step near the gym without their gym buddies. They rely on their workout partner in order for them to get motivated. According to Men's Health, having a buddy contract with someone is very useful and can have a long-lasting impact on healthy lifestyle.

But using a gym buddy to make an excuse not to workout because the other is unavailable is just plain pathetic.

13. Janitors. Guys who return the weights just because others are lazy to return them anymore. Me as a perfect example.

14. Unli Guys. Lift. Text. Lift. Text. Lift. Text. Drink water. Text. Text. Text. Lift. Home.

15. Tiger Prawns. These are the guys with bodies of steel and abs popping from their midsection. They are the epitome of great physique - lean and all. They look great from every angle...from neck down, that is.

Paper bag please!

16. Mad Dashers. Lift, lift, lift. Scattered gym equipment. Home.

Note: They barely stay there for an hour. 30 minutes max.

17. Wolves. Guys who like to huff and puff in the gym, feeling oh-so-cool and suave, humbugs in other words. You will either love them or hate them.

18. Towel Boys. These are specific guys who specifically leave their specific towels on specific equipment therefore specifically making you ask them permission every time to use that specific equipment and specifically irritating some people. Specifically me.

19. The Gym Almanacs. Know-it-all guys who most of the time finds a subject to criticize with their form, breathing, lifting techniques, etc. You name it, they got it. They know it all, supposedly...

20. And finally, the Hunger Gays. You know who they are. They are everywhere whether it is a small-time gym or those gym that you see in malls. Guys hungry for, well, guys. Only gym guys, nonetheless.

You see him staring at you through the mirror while he's pumping his biceps.

Will it be a no or a go?




Part 2

Black Widower

Woe are the boys who get tangled in your web.

Whilst Awake

My childhood memories littered all over the floor. Photographs of me scattered: smiling, winking, dancing, standing up to walk. The room was a mess. I was trying to find something, rather, myself.

Growing up shielded and protected made me what I am. Afraid.

Afraid of so many things, of so many situations. Afraid to lose, to regret, to be rejected, to not be recognized, to be alone.

And I have known and accepted that fact.

Sometimes when I'm all alone, my mind wanders through questions I ask myself over and over. Like a broken recorder. I know the answers yet refuse to acknowledge them.

I am afraid, too, of commitments. And that is why I think my relationships don't last. I always tell people I don't count my past anymore. Flashbacks can be telling to recall.

But why?

Weakness of the heart, the will. The push needed. I lack that.

Yes, yes I really do.

Drama in relationships, I mostly quit after that. I don't like dramas. I don't like to cry anymore. Tears of blood had been shed. Soul withers.

And finally, I picked the childhood photographs on the floor, kept them sealed and looked at myself in the mirror...

"Will I ever get stronger?" I asked the person in front of the mirror.

"Cowards die many times before their deaths." - William Shakespeare