"G?"
My ate texted me Monday morning. I was at my grandparent's place then. Doing research and reading blogs. But mostly the latter.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Kat already has a bf...I'm sad." She continued.
When they broke up I advised her that she stop communicating but knowing her stubborn ways, she continued to contact her.
So I was not able to provide a reply immediately. I thought of ways on how to respond on a euphemistic perspective.
"Well that is normal. We have to be happy for them. At least you had beautiful moments with her too."
"Help me better, G."
Here comes my ate again. I don't know if it's just me but texts like these irks me because it portrays helplessness.
I can still remember my breakups. No one was mostly there to comfort me. I had myself. Only myself. I chose not to involve friends with my drama. And most definitely not my family and relatives.
I blogged, fooled around, religiously went to the gym, jogged, read books, distracted myself with work.
The bottom line is that I helped myself.
I could have replied like "Stop feeling helpless" or "You know everyone has ways to make themselves better". But being a sibling, I could feel for her.
"Ate, we can only do so much to help you. It will be up to you to get better or always go back to the past.:)"
"Yes, you are right. I want to get better and that you know I am helping myself."
"That is good to know. You know breakups are never easy. So take your time and don't hasten up finding someone again."
"Yes, G. It's never too easy."
"Of course and it is best not to communicate with her for now. That is the most advisable thing to do."
That is what I am doing. As in. I want that."
"That is good to know, ate."
"Please help, ha?"
"Always remember that you are not helpless, okay?"
"Yes, I am not."
"Then you will be fine in God's time, ate."
"Yes G. I will be. Thanks. It will mean a lot to me."
"Welcome and no problem."
Life is all about finding happiness, one find theirs more quickly than others.
Part 2
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
My Story
It has been a long time since I posted here. How I have missed it. Everything has been crazy lately with all the work, training and school. It's difficult to juggle all of these. Add a little lovelife to spice things up.
Yes boys and girls, I have been committed for more than a month now. He means the world to me. We met through that little, wonderful world of Hornet, and the rest as they say, is history.
Work has been fairly well. Forever graveyard as we call it but hey, it has its advantages like no traffic and no rush hour. It has its pros and cons just like every work.
Training, on the other hand, has been quite intense lately. I plan to do a triathlon in two years' time and building up endurance for now. I lift weights three times a week, jog or swim once a week. Crazy.
P.S. I have yet to purchase a bike and train.
Congratulations to me for more than a year of being a lacto-ovo-vegetarian! I couldn't be any happier with the results. People ask me how I do it. I tell them it's a lot of will power and discipline. The good thing is that people are actually willing to try.
School is a problem though. I dropped one of my two subjects for the realistic reason that I cannot go to school and work for two nights in a row. Coming from UST to Bonifacio Global City is stressful, to say the least. It's something that hopefully I can fix by next semester.
I haven't gone out lately. Heck, it has been months since I went clubbing. I have truly missed it. The last time I went out was with a friend and Nishiboy, who, by the way, was still non-committed. I miss the lights, the sound, the people. Damn, I want to go out soon!
I am not updated in the blogosphere. I don't know who slept with who or who did who or who is dating who. Haha! Of course I love gossip! The juicier and meatier, the better.
With all that has happened to the people in the Visayas region, I felt there was a need to help them in any way possible. I recently flew to Cebu to donate and volunteer. I was unable to help with the repacking as they were still awaiting the 'go' signal. Logistics has been a problem lately. I'll check if there are still other organizations needing help.
I also wanted to help with the debriefing of these people. Now, more than ever, people not only need physical needs but emotional as well. What they went through is really tough.
Amidst all of these, I am still happy. It may be hectic and stressful and tough and draining but I feel more alive than ever.
Better than ever.
Yes boys and girls, I have been committed for more than a month now. He means the world to me. We met through that little, wonderful world of Hornet, and the rest as they say, is history.
Work has been fairly well. Forever graveyard as we call it but hey, it has its advantages like no traffic and no rush hour. It has its pros and cons just like every work.
Training, on the other hand, has been quite intense lately. I plan to do a triathlon in two years' time and building up endurance for now. I lift weights three times a week, jog or swim once a week. Crazy.
P.S. I have yet to purchase a bike and train.
Congratulations to me for more than a year of being a lacto-ovo-vegetarian! I couldn't be any happier with the results. People ask me how I do it. I tell them it's a lot of will power and discipline. The good thing is that people are actually willing to try.
School is a problem though. I dropped one of my two subjects for the realistic reason that I cannot go to school and work for two nights in a row. Coming from UST to Bonifacio Global City is stressful, to say the least. It's something that hopefully I can fix by next semester.
I haven't gone out lately. Heck, it has been months since I went clubbing. I have truly missed it. The last time I went out was with a friend and Nishiboy, who, by the way, was still non-committed. I miss the lights, the sound, the people. Damn, I want to go out soon!
I am not updated in the blogosphere. I don't know who slept with who or who did who or who is dating who. Haha! Of course I love gossip! The juicier and meatier, the better.
With all that has happened to the people in the Visayas region, I felt there was a need to help them in any way possible. I recently flew to Cebu to donate and volunteer. I was unable to help with the repacking as they were still awaiting the 'go' signal. Logistics has been a problem lately. I'll check if there are still other organizations needing help.
I also wanted to help with the debriefing of these people. Now, more than ever, people not only need physical needs but emotional as well. What they went through is really tough.
Amidst all of these, I am still happy. It may be hectic and stressful and tough and draining but I feel more alive than ever.
Better than ever.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Of Saints and Sinners
"And?" I was baffled.
"And because he had sponsors."
"Are you serious?"
I looked at his friends' calm reaction.
They knew.
"So let me get this straight, aside from his wife and kids, and you, he also has sponsors?"
"Yes. Two actually. A COO from a private hospital and a Dean from a university."
"And that is totally fine with you?"
"You know, G, at first it was not. Not at all. I nearly begged off our relationship. But I thought about it and looked from his perspective. It's not so bad. I guess. I mean the sponsors are actually a bit old. about 50 plus already." Michael continued while I gazed into his eyes trying to observe further his reactions. "The way I see it, since they're older, I don't think I need to be jealous."
His answer was direct, blunt. He must have thought it through a lot of times.
"So your time from him is 6 to 9pm. When does he meet his 'sponsors?'" I quote-unquoted in mid-air.
"If I call him in the morning, about until 5pm, and he does not answer. I know he is with one of them."
"Man, that is complicated Michael. I swear."
"So what was the string that pulled everything?"
"One day I just realized..." He took a deep breath. "...that I couldn't be his other option anymore."
And those were the words - an option.
"I stopped communicating from texts to calls to social networking sites. I stopped everything."
"Like what I said earlier, there was no closure. I couldn't face him anymore."
"I see."
"It was painful, G. There were nights I couldn't sleep and there were times I just wanted to sleep all day."
"Of course Michael. Six years is six years. A partner is a partner."
Silence surrounded the living room area.
"But that was months ago, nearly a year. I have moved on G."
I wanted to believe him, I really do. But his words, they speak of hurt, of ongoing process.
Of a still open wound.
"So...what if, hypothetically, you accidentally see him and his wife together in a mall, would you go to him and greet him?"
"No."
"I thought you have moved on, Michael?" I interrupted.
He fell silent. A dead one.
"You're contradicting your statements." I told him.
He smiled weakly to me.
And then I smiled back.
And finally finished the Tanduay Ice I was drinking.
Part 3
"And because he had sponsors."
"Are you serious?"
I looked at his friends' calm reaction.
They knew.
"So let me get this straight, aside from his wife and kids, and you, he also has sponsors?"
"Yes. Two actually. A COO from a private hospital and a Dean from a university."
"And that is totally fine with you?"
"You know, G, at first it was not. Not at all. I nearly begged off our relationship. But I thought about it and looked from his perspective. It's not so bad. I guess. I mean the sponsors are actually a bit old. about 50 plus already." Michael continued while I gazed into his eyes trying to observe further his reactions. "The way I see it, since they're older, I don't think I need to be jealous."
His answer was direct, blunt. He must have thought it through a lot of times.
"So your time from him is 6 to 9pm. When does he meet his 'sponsors?'" I quote-unquoted in mid-air.
"If I call him in the morning, about until 5pm, and he does not answer. I know he is with one of them."
"Man, that is complicated Michael. I swear."
"So what was the string that pulled everything?"
"One day I just realized..." He took a deep breath. "...that I couldn't be his other option anymore."
And those were the words - an option.
"I stopped communicating from texts to calls to social networking sites. I stopped everything."
"Like what I said earlier, there was no closure. I couldn't face him anymore."
"I see."
"It was painful, G. There were nights I couldn't sleep and there were times I just wanted to sleep all day."
"Of course Michael. Six years is six years. A partner is a partner."
Silence surrounded the living room area.
"But that was months ago, nearly a year. I have moved on G."
I wanted to believe him, I really do. But his words, they speak of hurt, of ongoing process.
Of a still open wound.
"So...what if, hypothetically, you accidentally see him and his wife together in a mall, would you go to him and greet him?"
"No."
"I thought you have moved on, Michael?" I interrupted.
He fell silent. A dead one.
"You're contradicting your statements." I told him.
He smiled weakly to me.
And then I smiled back.
And finally finished the Tanduay Ice I was drinking.
Part 3
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Of Saints And Sinners
As the night slowly spread more, his story did too.
"He had always been there for me, G. Everytime I needed him, he was there. I think I could not have asked for more."
"But doesn't it bother you that he comes home to his wife and kids after you?"
"At least I know that for our time together, we are happy."
I sighed with exasperation. Here I am trying to understand his point of view, albeit seeing differently, the loser's point of view. Yet, he sees his situation, their situation as if it was the best.
In his eyes, he was the winner. No competition.
"There was a time we were nearly caught. That, I think, was one of the testaments of how strong our relationship is."
"What happened?" I asked with worry.
"He was at our house and his sister came in unexpectedly because obviously there were already doubts coming from his wife." He told us. "We were cuddling on bed when we heard loud knocks on the door."
I changed my sitting position. I felt tense.
"I asked who it was and his sister answered. I panicked a little and told him to hide in my closet. My room was dark and the bag that he used, which was lying on the floor was dark-colored, so his bag was unnoticeable. I am sure his sister was not able to notice it. That was a relief." He continued.
"I hurriedly opened the door and acted as if I had just woken up. 'Hey, just woke up. What is it?' I asked his sister. "I was trying to hide my fear, G."
She told me that his brother is missing and that his wife asked me to check if he is here.
"My fear rose, G. I swear. The fact that the wife actually thought that he's here at home with me alarmed me." Michael shifted positions on his seat. "I told her that Choi did not drop by here and I haven't seen him for a while. However, she insisted."
I held his friend's hand. My date.
Michael anxiously got his phone to call Choi upon the sister's insistence...
"Hay, G! Thankfully it was on silent! It nearly gave me a heart attack! Imagine if it rang in his pocket while hiding in my closet. After a few rings I handed it to her to make sure that no one was picking it up!"
"What happened next?!" I asked.
"She apologized and left."
"You really love him, do you Michael?"
"For nearly six years G. I didn't even think of how complicated our set-up was if not for how he made me happy."
"What made u decide to end it?" I asked again wanting to know more.
"I only decided to end it. But he still does text me, asking me to meet him again..."
"And?"
Part 2
"He had always been there for me, G. Everytime I needed him, he was there. I think I could not have asked for more."
"But doesn't it bother you that he comes home to his wife and kids after you?"
"At least I know that for our time together, we are happy."
I sighed with exasperation. Here I am trying to understand his point of view, albeit seeing differently, the loser's point of view. Yet, he sees his situation, their situation as if it was the best.
In his eyes, he was the winner. No competition.
"There was a time we were nearly caught. That, I think, was one of the testaments of how strong our relationship is."
"What happened?" I asked with worry.
"He was at our house and his sister came in unexpectedly because obviously there were already doubts coming from his wife." He told us. "We were cuddling on bed when we heard loud knocks on the door."
I changed my sitting position. I felt tense.
"I asked who it was and his sister answered. I panicked a little and told him to hide in my closet. My room was dark and the bag that he used, which was lying on the floor was dark-colored, so his bag was unnoticeable. I am sure his sister was not able to notice it. That was a relief." He continued.
"I hurriedly opened the door and acted as if I had just woken up. 'Hey, just woke up. What is it?' I asked his sister. "I was trying to hide my fear, G."
She told me that his brother is missing and that his wife asked me to check if he is here.
"My fear rose, G. I swear. The fact that the wife actually thought that he's here at home with me alarmed me." Michael shifted positions on his seat. "I told her that Choi did not drop by here and I haven't seen him for a while. However, she insisted."
I held his friend's hand. My date.
Michael anxiously got his phone to call Choi upon the sister's insistence...
"Hay, G! Thankfully it was on silent! It nearly gave me a heart attack! Imagine if it rang in his pocket while hiding in my closet. After a few rings I handed it to her to make sure that no one was picking it up!"
"What happened next?!" I asked.
"She apologized and left."
"You really love him, do you Michael?"
"For nearly six years G. I didn't even think of how complicated our set-up was if not for how he made me happy."
"What made u decide to end it?" I asked again wanting to know more.
"I only decided to end it. But he still does text me, asking me to meet him again..."
"And?"
Part 2
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