Subjectively Speaking

What makes this world revolutionize is how ideas become more pronounced - the ideas of social status, gender preference, and labels can be cited as good examples.


And with new ideas sprouted radical and not so radical ones which have more or less created minds worthy of noting. And as with transformation blossomed thinkings of close-mindedness. Yes, people became more creative with ideas but also sticked to new ideas which are biased, which they know are right and which they know are facts but really just factitious.


Being homosexual is being absolute, meaning the preference is same gender. Same is true for heterosexuals who prefer the opposite.


When I was growing up my perception of homosexuals are those of the parlor-type ones. No, it's not discrimination because first and foremost, I had no point of comparison that time. Media influenced me and what I usually see when my Mom gets a hair-cut.


With ignorance and early youth within me I have little knowledge on homosexuals and what significant role they play in the society. IF they play any significant role. My childhood was filled with not so good description of gays mainly because both sides of the family are homophobics and they literally prejudice people base on what they do for a living. Yes, bigotry has been part of my past and that is also one of the main reasons when I was coming out of my pink closet, I had so many, many, many worries and insecurities that I had to postpone myself into facing reality. I had to pretend that I don't have time for girls much more being involved with them. This was my main excuse.


And College days came and oh it was sweet and sour! I got laid for the first time, joined chatrooms in YM, got rejected in YM, viewed cams in YM, got numbers, got hook-ups, got courted, got broken-hearted. I tell you when I stepped into me being gay in College it's as if life exploded right in front of my very eyes. And that's where it all started. The categories, the labels, the stereotypes. It all splashed to my face as well. And it made me insecure once again.


From the parlor-type ones that I have accustomed with came out the bisexuals, discreet-looking, straight-acting, effeminates, chubby ones, gym-goers, club goers, straight-trippers, closeted gays, out gays, not-so-out gays, slightly-closeted gays. The labels and descriptions are endless and others are soon to follow.


I was standing on a question mark that time and I was constantly asking myself: Where do I belong?


Part 1