Subjectively Speaking
What makes this world revolutionize is how ideas become more pronounced - the ideas of social status, gender preference, and labels can be cited as good examples.
And with new ideas sprouted radical and not so radical ones which have more or less created minds worthy of noting. And as with transformation blossomed thinkings of close-mindedness. Yes, people became more creative with ideas but also sticked to new ideas which are biased, which they know are right and which they know are facts but really just factitious.
Being homosexual is being absolute, meaning the preference is same gender. Same is true for heterosexuals who prefer the opposite.
When I was growing up my perception of homosexuals are those of the parlor-type ones. No, it's not discrimination because first and foremost, I had no point of comparison that time. Media influenced me and what I usually see when my Mom gets a hair-cut.
With ignorance and early youth within me I have little knowledge on homosexuals and what significant role they play in the society. IF they play any significant role. My childhood was filled with not so good description of gays mainly because both sides of the family are homophobics and they literally prejudice people base on what they do for a living. Yes, bigotry has been part of my past and that is also one of the main reasons when I was coming out of my pink closet, I had so many, many, many worries and insecurities that I had to postpone myself into facing reality. I had to pretend that I don't have time for girls much more being involved with them. This was my main excuse.
And College days came and oh it was sweet and sour! I got laid for the first time, joined chatrooms in YM, got rejected in YM, viewed cams in YM, got numbers, got hook-ups, got courted, got broken-hearted. I tell you when I stepped into me being gay in College it's as if life exploded right in front of my very eyes. And that's where it all started. The categories, the labels, the stereotypes. It all splashed to my face as well. And it made me insecure once again.
From the parlor-type ones that I have accustomed with came out the bisexuals, discreet-looking, straight-acting, effeminates, chubby ones, gym-goers, club goers, straight-trippers, closeted gays, out gays, not-so-out gays, slightly-closeted gays. The labels and descriptions are endless and others are soon to follow.
I was standing on a question mark that time and I was constantly asking myself: Where do I belong?
Part 1
And with new ideas sprouted radical and not so radical ones which have more or less created minds worthy of noting. And as with transformation blossomed thinkings of close-mindedness. Yes, people became more creative with ideas but also sticked to new ideas which are biased, which they know are right and which they know are facts but really just factitious.
Being homosexual is being absolute, meaning the preference is same gender. Same is true for heterosexuals who prefer the opposite.
When I was growing up my perception of homosexuals are those of the parlor-type ones. No, it's not discrimination because first and foremost, I had no point of comparison that time. Media influenced me and what I usually see when my Mom gets a hair-cut.
With ignorance and early youth within me I have little knowledge on homosexuals and what significant role they play in the society. IF they play any significant role. My childhood was filled with not so good description of gays mainly because both sides of the family are homophobics and they literally prejudice people base on what they do for a living. Yes, bigotry has been part of my past and that is also one of the main reasons when I was coming out of my pink closet, I had so many, many, many worries and insecurities that I had to postpone myself into facing reality. I had to pretend that I don't have time for girls much more being involved with them. This was my main excuse.
And College days came and oh it was sweet and sour! I got laid for the first time, joined chatrooms in YM, got rejected in YM, viewed cams in YM, got numbers, got hook-ups, got courted, got broken-hearted. I tell you when I stepped into me being gay in College it's as if life exploded right in front of my very eyes. And that's where it all started. The categories, the labels, the stereotypes. It all splashed to my face as well. And it made me insecure once again.
From the parlor-type ones that I have accustomed with came out the bisexuals, discreet-looking, straight-acting, effeminates, chubby ones, gym-goers, club goers, straight-trippers, closeted gays, out gays, not-so-out gays, slightly-closeted gays. The labels and descriptions are endless and others are soon to follow.
I was standing on a question mark that time and I was constantly asking myself: Where do I belong?
Part 1
same here. college opened my eyes sa diversity ng gay life. :)
ReplyDeletehonga! where do you belong? LOL. tsismoso lang. :)
college is so harsh to the naive.
ReplyDeleteWow, that was fast!!!
ReplyDelete*Nimmy - and with diversity we also learned how the same types can be harsh to others. OK not harsh, rude and mean. I will tell you when I finish this post. ;)
*arkin - but as you can see and feel, it's just not College. Some can even relate their being discriminating to others way back high school. And as for me I go way back elementary.
I'm glad I postponed my exploration just when I was about to leave the university. As for your place in the universe, stake your claim not on anyone's spot but yours.
ReplyDeleteIf I tell everyone I'm a closet lesbian, the hell if I people raised eyebrows because of my self-proclaimed label. Lol.
Some people were taught to have guts of steel, some were not. I am with the latter. Although to be quite honest, I have been more in sync with myself than for the past years. Social judgment still plays a role but not a major one.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing about it is do we really know what label fits us perfectly? Do we create one ourselves or follow existing prescriptions and end up being a stereotype? We have to remember that sexuality is different from gender.
ReplyDeleteI find that in every society they shun what they cannot define. Sadly, bigotry is also present in the gay society. Ironic how they condemn those who are closeted, bi, discreets, trippers and alike when they themselves know how it is to be condemned by the rest.
Sorry about the long comment. This issue just struck a chord with me.
Ang hirap mag comment dito, ang lalalim naman ng ingles nyo mga fafa - hahaha
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, I can relate to this post..I am surrouded by homophobics too - that's why till now, I can't come out and I have no plans of coming out! Look forward to your next post/s related to this topic ;-)
@ JR - aba nag thesaurus ka ba? hahah
ReplyDelete@ guy - hay ako i really dont care abt labels na, i stopped caring long ago.
but i have a bone to pick on gays who out other gay people. most especially gay guys who pick on closeted ones. i say mind ur own business. if i want to remain closeted, it's my choice. i don't owe anybody an explanation.
with me,my sexual revolution started after college na hehe.been there and done that.
ReplyDeletelabels?fuck it,if you like guys and dick,isa lang yan,Gay.gay tayong lahat LOL!
Soltero, can I have your bone? Echos.
ReplyDeleteSuppressed ako nung highschool and college eh.
Tignan mo 'ko ngayon. LMAO
interesting. i was thinking along the same lines. all these labels are so suffocating. wecan't just be ourselves anymore, but must fit discretely in a category.
ReplyDeletewhat daredevilry said.
ReplyDeleteOkay, here goes nothing...
ReplyDelete*Jaytee - yes I do think there are labels that would fit us but not perfectly. People change and preferences change so fitting yourself in a certain label is out of the question.
*JR - and coming out doesn't necessarily mean coming out to people, the most important part of coming out is coming out in terms with yourself. Again and again, self-acceptance is key.
*Soltero - I agree with you and your bone. Haha! The realization is this: some of the most homophobic people are homosexuals. That is the sad truth. Hopefully, we would wake up and realize that there is more to life than our fears and phobias of each other.
*Mac Callister - well dude, you do know that some do it out of curiosity while others are still in denial. We leave them be because in the end, they still know deep inside who they really are.
*Carrie - actually, you're the most straight-acting. Hahaha! And I'm the second of course. Yihee!
*daredevilry - so, we think alike. Soulmate is datchu? ;) The main focus here is that we be ourselves, we be true to ourselves so that in the end, labels or no labels, category or no category, fitting in or not fitting in, we don't lose who we are.
*drew - so, you got lazy thinking eh!!! :)
Peace. Guys, I am truly, truly flattered with your comments, the brain work is just too much and I'm overwhelmed, really.
a basic lesson i learned from a fellow blogger, a presence of several names or tags for a certain phenomenon/object means that the phenomenon/object have proliferated or widespread in a certain society. Example, we have many names for precipitation (ulan, ambon, annge, hamog) or for rice (bigas, palay, kanin).. i guess this answer your question, you don't really need to belong to any titles or tags, because society will keep making new names about homosexuality.
ReplyDeletejust keep intact with the fact that heterosexuality doesnt work for you. cheers!
well, they're all the same to me.
ReplyDeletegay.
*dabo - thank you for the wonderful and educational insight.
ReplyDelete*engel - exactly. So there is exactly no need to put labels...