A Very Humbling Day
Selective mutism. That was my intention for the day, I won't talk unless spoken to. I have done this several times already: at work, at home, at the gym. This will be a cinch. I will make it through this day without being too bothered by petty things.
Of course that was my id talking, yesterday was all about me, myself, and I.
I couldn't care less if a client had seizures, banged his head on the pavement and was rushed to the clinic for suturing, why bother myself with such nuisances.
But of course, I am volunteering there hence raises the question of, what would you do if the client is in your place?
And yes, that was my superego finally shaking the life out of me. Had I given in to the dark side, I wouldn't have bothered making any verbal contact to the staff, more so share a good laugh or two. Fortunately, the day is still early and I can't tell if I will really have a bad hair day uh, dreaded day. I just laughed off the idea and went on doing my morning routine.
Time coupled with my knack for distraction so as to avoid negative thoughts really worked. By two o' clock I was already rearing to go and take a well deserved nap.
Three o' clock hit and I made my last round before bidding everyone goodbye, for now. I had a great time with them. And I even forgot our small talk earlier. Even before having the security guard sign my daily time record I was already feeling much, much better. So much better than the start of my horrifying day.
I halted a PUV and got in. For some reason I was smiling. It was a genuine, feel good at the moment smile. It was different. I just can't put my finger in it.
I alighted and walked towards a waiting area only to ride another PUV again. Aside from the tricycle going out of the subdivision, I have to ride six times going to and from work. And the funny thing is that it's less than 7 kilometers away from home. I halted the PUV, I was really exhausted that time. Yes it rained, yes the ground was washed again by the glorious purity water brings, yes the people were rejoicing again, but, I'm tired for the day. I got in and slowly my pseudo-narcoplepsy crept in. I sat on the edge of the vehicle for easy access of getting out. I tilted my head towards a metal bar for comfort and off I snoozed. I can feel that the vehicle isn't encountering any type of heavy traffic. How'd I know? I can feel the wind brushing through my cheeks throughout the whole journey.
What happened was unexpected. With the speed the vehicle is going, I leaned more to the metal bar to become more comfortable and finally off flew my spectacles out on the highway! I was surprised and scared. I hurriedly halted the vehicle and walked towards where it landed but it was too late to save my eyeglasses, the lens were completely crushed and the frame was bent beyond repair. I caressed it in my palms like a child gasping for his last few breaths before having a cardiac standstill. It was all happening too fast, suddenly, I thought of my Mom and our argument earlier.
Boy I have to suck it in and I have to suck it good. I was thinking had I bought sneakers that day then I won't have eyeglasses for the next two or three months and mind you, these are not reading glasses, the ones that flew are prescription eyeglasses meant to be worn everyday to prevent further deterioration of my eye sight.
Was I feeling sad or sorry for myself? Was I on the brink of standing in the middle of the highway and end dear life? Was I resenting the fact that I rode the vehicle and didn't bother thinking about my dear glasses? No. I was constantly conjuring up logical thoughts on how to make this hell day become lighter.
I don't think my Mom needs to know about this. I have a spare set of glasses at home albeit in a round rimmed hence outdated style now. I can wear that for the meantime. It doesn't matter, the grade is just the same, I don't have to sacrifice wearing contacts everyday, which I don't like because I do mind taking it off before going to sleep. Hehe. Lazy, lazy, lazy me.
Overall, it was a fresh new take on humility and turning a tragedy into something positive. I wasn't able to buy me a new pair of sneakers and my glasses tasted death in an unexpected way but I learned to level my way of thinking to that of what I can obtain and what the world has to offer. And don't think of it as feeling just that or being mediocre because it's not. It just so happens that it's just not the right time for those and waiting is the best plan you have for now. Anticipating for the greater experiences in life, awaiting for better opportunities to come, expecting of more profundities to arrive.
And all because of those stupid sneakers I so wanted to purchase but couldn't. :)
Part 2
Of course that was my id talking, yesterday was all about me, myself, and I.
I couldn't care less if a client had seizures, banged his head on the pavement and was rushed to the clinic for suturing, why bother myself with such nuisances.
But of course, I am volunteering there hence raises the question of, what would you do if the client is in your place?
And yes, that was my superego finally shaking the life out of me. Had I given in to the dark side, I wouldn't have bothered making any verbal contact to the staff, more so share a good laugh or two. Fortunately, the day is still early and I can't tell if I will really have a bad hair day uh, dreaded day. I just laughed off the idea and went on doing my morning routine.
Time coupled with my knack for distraction so as to avoid negative thoughts really worked. By two o' clock I was already rearing to go and take a well deserved nap.
Three o' clock hit and I made my last round before bidding everyone goodbye, for now. I had a great time with them. And I even forgot our small talk earlier. Even before having the security guard sign my daily time record I was already feeling much, much better. So much better than the start of my horrifying day.
I halted a PUV and got in. For some reason I was smiling. It was a genuine, feel good at the moment smile. It was different. I just can't put my finger in it.
I alighted and walked towards a waiting area only to ride another PUV again. Aside from the tricycle going out of the subdivision, I have to ride six times going to and from work. And the funny thing is that it's less than 7 kilometers away from home. I halted the PUV, I was really exhausted that time. Yes it rained, yes the ground was washed again by the glorious purity water brings, yes the people were rejoicing again, but, I'm tired for the day. I got in and slowly my pseudo-narcoplepsy crept in. I sat on the edge of the vehicle for easy access of getting out. I tilted my head towards a metal bar for comfort and off I snoozed. I can feel that the vehicle isn't encountering any type of heavy traffic. How'd I know? I can feel the wind brushing through my cheeks throughout the whole journey.
What happened was unexpected. With the speed the vehicle is going, I leaned more to the metal bar to become more comfortable and finally off flew my spectacles out on the highway! I was surprised and scared. I hurriedly halted the vehicle and walked towards where it landed but it was too late to save my eyeglasses, the lens were completely crushed and the frame was bent beyond repair. I caressed it in my palms like a child gasping for his last few breaths before having a cardiac standstill. It was all happening too fast, suddenly, I thought of my Mom and our argument earlier.
Boy I have to suck it in and I have to suck it good. I was thinking had I bought sneakers that day then I won't have eyeglasses for the next two or three months and mind you, these are not reading glasses, the ones that flew are prescription eyeglasses meant to be worn everyday to prevent further deterioration of my eye sight.
Was I feeling sad or sorry for myself? Was I on the brink of standing in the middle of the highway and end dear life? Was I resenting the fact that I rode the vehicle and didn't bother thinking about my dear glasses? No. I was constantly conjuring up logical thoughts on how to make this hell day become lighter.
I don't think my Mom needs to know about this. I have a spare set of glasses at home albeit in a round rimmed hence outdated style now. I can wear that for the meantime. It doesn't matter, the grade is just the same, I don't have to sacrifice wearing contacts everyday, which I don't like because I do mind taking it off before going to sleep. Hehe. Lazy, lazy, lazy me.
Overall, it was a fresh new take on humility and turning a tragedy into something positive. I wasn't able to buy me a new pair of sneakers and my glasses tasted death in an unexpected way but I learned to level my way of thinking to that of what I can obtain and what the world has to offer. And don't think of it as feeling just that or being mediocre because it's not. It just so happens that it's just not the right time for those and waiting is the best plan you have for now. Anticipating for the greater experiences in life, awaiting for better opportunities to come, expecting of more profundities to arrive.
And all because of those stupid sneakers I so wanted to purchase but couldn't. :)
Part 2
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