Unspoken Words

I have been fond of writing ever since I have started reading, well truth be told, I like reading more because it's much less of a hassle plus you get to check other people's perspective on a particular topic or post or article.

From reading short stories and essays to yearning for Western, Eastern and mixed literatures, to imagining myths, legends and ancient history galore and finally, interpreting poems and prose and especially haiku's. These are some that tickled my fancy when I was still growing up without any inkling on the presence of the world-wide web. Or is it because there wasn't any web at all during my hey days? To cut the story short, I was fascinated by the mere presence of books in our home. I read them almost everyday even if I've already read them or we already have discussed them in school.

I was very fond of Afro-asian Literatures, I guess because they were more insightful despite the fact that their stories were shorter. You know, it made sense without needing to elaborate much. The authors were mostly Japanese, Korean, Indian and Filipinos. Stories of family, of familial ties, of living, of striving, of judging, of harmony, of resonance, of youth and the want for it, of slavery, of tragedy, of hopelessness, of prayers, of reflections, of recollections, of everyday scenarios, of rare finds, and of great achievements. I need not go elsewhere to learn a vast amount of information. 

And so this ignited my admiration to write, write anything! It doesn't matter if it's too deep or too superficial or even too lustful for people, the mere fact that I'm able to express what I'm feeling so intense as of that specific moment, makes me feel very fulfilled.

Although, life can really be ironic because in as much as I'm great in expressing myself through writing, I lack finesse, poise, grace and proper courteousness when I'm speaking. And to be more specific, apologizing. It's unconsciously done by me. I know, I know, stupid right? But that's the thing, I seem to apologize for certain reasons like accidentally bumping a person or stepping on a toe. And mind you, these are very minor, too minor even that people I've told my apologies to didn't even bat an eyelash or even reciprocated with a mere: that's nothing.

However if I've done a grave mistake on someone dear to me most especially my partner, words that he wants to hear don't come out easily as I want to say it. I express my apology through being more affectionate, caring and supportive. And I don't even think of it as pride or boastfulness or not stooping too low because I can be humble, I can stoop low for the sake of keeping a relationship intact. That's how I say, in my own, words, I'm truly sorry. 

But then again, sometimes, these three words are the only words they want to hear in order to compensate an error.