Postponing Gratification

It was hot and humid when I arrived home. I was drenched in sweat.

I have to take a bath. I mumbled when I went past through the workers trying to repair our ceiling.

The house was bare like it was stripped off its beauty and charm. All remained was the skeleton, the framework, the foundation of our more than two decades living in the same home. Childhood memories all stored within the four corners. It was sad seeing its glorious beauty being stripped off but it was refreshing for it will be having a minor renovation.

I checked the refrigerator, got the large cup of iced tea I made yesterday and gulped it down like an athlete gulping down a sports drink. It was sweet, cold, with a hint of tang. Perfect.

Took off my shirt, socks and shoes. I looked at myself in the mirror, love handles, how I hate seeing them! But I'm doing my best to minimize them. Unfortunately, a cup of rice during breakfast and another during lunch isn't exactly ideal in losing the love handles. Fine. There will always be tomorrow to compensate.

Entered the washroom. It was hot but tolerable inside. I took off my pants and my underwear. I turned on the faucet, placed a small amount of paste at my toothbrush and started brushing my teeth.

I have to go to the gym, I have to go to the gym, I have to go to the gym. I was staring at myself and saying this mantra. 

After doing my business in the washroom I proceeded to the bathroom.Turned on the shower, placed a small amount of shampoo in my hair, lathered and scrubbed. It was relaxing to say the least. 

I grabbed the soap and rubbed it for a second trying to moisten it better with water. After that I smothered myself with the slippery goodness it has to offer.

Waited for a few minutes while removing the dirt and grime of the streets of Manila. I feel so clean! Very clean!

Turned the shower knob off, patted myself with the towel and wore my shorts.

I excused myself from the workers who were near the stairs and I immediately went up to my parents room. It was facing where the wind current is flowing so I opted to stay there for some quick nap.

I thought I wouldn't need to, I thought I wouldn't have to, I thought I wouldn't require to.

But I was mistaken, greatly mistaken.

My mind was forcing me to sleep but I can't I just can't. Not yet. Not this time yet. Something is amiss. I know what it is but I don't know if it's right.

It quietly stood, like a flower waiting for the first rays of the sun to be shone with. I held it gently, this is so wrong, but it feels so right.

Ever so often I would stroke it, just to know if it will react to the human touch. It does but it lacks the stimulus to remain hard. Rock hard.

My Ipod consists of my most current favorite music including some nostalgic songs I have grown with. But the cream of the crop of my media player is my porn collection. Sure, I delete every now and then but one thing is for certain, I won't delete all of them in one go.

I opened the Ipod, chose the Videos section, and decided what to watch. I was getting hotter by the minute. It has to be released. I have to need it released.

I chose a video I wasn't able to finish yesterday, I was enjoying every second of it: from the grasps, rubs, moans, yells, expressions, insertions and exertions. I was, finally, able to make it rock hard.

I was one with the video, I mimicked their every move, every flow, every blow. I was there in the video with them, doing it with them.

I was so engrossed by watching their every thrust, every blast, every push, every pull.

Then suddenly, my Dad came in and saw me.

:)