The sky was bursting with color - of blue, pink, green and yellow. Each explosion seemed to contain more life than the last, it's as if the sky had flower buds scattered all over and when the clock strikes midnight, all bloomed to give life. People from all walks of life were staring in awe, their eyes with sparkle and mouths with wonder. The children were clapping in succession as if there was a spectacular light show finale worthy of a standing ovation. And their parents were just as bewildered as well. Everyone was in high spirits. Who wouldn't be? After all, it is the start of another decade.
As the celebration proceeds to the climax, I found myself lying comfortably on my sofa bed. It was absolutely perfection. Never mind the merry-making outside coupled with a deaf-inducing ruckus and toxic gas-suffocating environment. I couldn't help but smile, and, as I budged a little in order for me to have the best reading angle of John Steinback's Of Mice and Men, I noticed a face smiling across the room by the dresser - it was my graduation picture. I turned my head sideways to look at it one more time. I let out a quick sigh and told myself how times have changed...
With the mark of another decade, how did I see myself back then? What were my goals after graduation and years after graduation? Have I become what I envisioned back then?
The smile, that smile, my smile I used to wear. Where did it go? Did it wane? Disappear gradually or instantly? Did it widen? Or to put it simpler, did my smile get better?
As the beginning of another year paces by the second, I look back on experiences not with a grain of salt but with open arms; from meeting new people to learning something different and wild to adjusting lifestyle and principles.
As the final run of the previous year comes to a halt, I look forward of future goals and dreams, on what I have yet to encounter: people, knowledge, skills and principles alike.
And because this year had so many whirlwinds and rollercoasters and loops I just couldn't imagine, I would conclude that this, this 2010 was a good year.
But I know 2011 will be a great one. :)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
A Pre-Christmas Conversation
"Merry Christmas!" I shouted to them at the top of my lungs, reaching the farthest corner of their temporary shelter whom most of them now call home.
"Merry Christmas, sir!" Replied the boys eager with excitement.
"How are you doing?" I looked at all of them trying to obtain the best answer they could give.
"We're fine." They all replied in chorus.
I nodded and told them how glad I was of their answer. I scanned around the area and saw what wonderful smiles they were possessing as of that moment but when I looked at the table near from where I was standing, I saw that one of them was bowing his head. I went closer to him, trying to look more closely to his face and the reason for that gesture. I inched closer, he sensed that I was drawing nearer to his personal space, he looked at me and I saw his face illuminated by the weak source of artificial light outside. His face - the boy's face expressed a word that I tried searching long in my brain bank vocabulary. If the boy's face was put on canvass, the artist would have painted it with questions and difficulty. Then, with a quick blink of my eyes I realized what, finally, his face conveyed of...forlorn.
I looked away for a moment trying to choose the right words. I could not.
I could ask him why the face. I could not.
I could tell him it will be alright. I could not.
I could smile at him again hoping it would infect him even in the slightest of ways. I could not.
"How are you doing?" I asked again hoping that what he would reply would make me learn something of his expression of demise.
"My family." His voice sounded that of someone who lost everything but himself.
I looked at him again, I could not help but empathize after all, I am still living with my family. He looked away shyly, boys will be boys. Tears are unaccepted.
He slowly began to talk again. "I miss them, I'm not with them for Christmas again." He was trying his very best to say the words, conveying them in the most sincere way he could.
I nodded and asked him how many times did he already spend Christmas here.
"Four times, this is my fourth year here." He bluntly told me.
"Do you live nearby?" I asked trying to sort out what he's currently feeling.
He motioned his head from left to right then right to left. I understood what he meant. His family lives far, far from him and where he is staying.
Honestly I was at a loss for words. I could not tell him that his family is thinking of him because that may not be true and I am giving him false reassurance which maybe detrimental. I placed my arm over his shoulders and squeezed it tightly then I gave him my brightest and most affectionate smile.
And with that he smiled back. He understood me. He will be better. He will feel better.
"Merry Christmas, sir!" Replied the boys eager with excitement.
"How are you doing?" I looked at all of them trying to obtain the best answer they could give.
"We're fine." They all replied in chorus.
I nodded and told them how glad I was of their answer. I scanned around the area and saw what wonderful smiles they were possessing as of that moment but when I looked at the table near from where I was standing, I saw that one of them was bowing his head. I went closer to him, trying to look more closely to his face and the reason for that gesture. I inched closer, he sensed that I was drawing nearer to his personal space, he looked at me and I saw his face illuminated by the weak source of artificial light outside. His face - the boy's face expressed a word that I tried searching long in my brain bank vocabulary. If the boy's face was put on canvass, the artist would have painted it with questions and difficulty. Then, with a quick blink of my eyes I realized what, finally, his face conveyed of...forlorn.
I looked away for a moment trying to choose the right words. I could not.
I could ask him why the face. I could not.
I could tell him it will be alright. I could not.
I could smile at him again hoping it would infect him even in the slightest of ways. I could not.
"How are you doing?" I asked again hoping that what he would reply would make me learn something of his expression of demise.
"My family." His voice sounded that of someone who lost everything but himself.
I looked at him again, I could not help but empathize after all, I am still living with my family. He looked away shyly, boys will be boys. Tears are unaccepted.
He slowly began to talk again. "I miss them, I'm not with them for Christmas again." He was trying his very best to say the words, conveying them in the most sincere way he could.
I nodded and asked him how many times did he already spend Christmas here.
"Four times, this is my fourth year here." He bluntly told me.
"Do you live nearby?" I asked trying to sort out what he's currently feeling.
He motioned his head from left to right then right to left. I understood what he meant. His family lives far, far from him and where he is staying.
Honestly I was at a loss for words. I could not tell him that his family is thinking of him because that may not be true and I am giving him false reassurance which maybe detrimental. I placed my arm over his shoulders and squeezed it tightly then I gave him my brightest and most affectionate smile.
And with that he smiled back. He understood me. He will be better. He will feel better.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Visionaries
When was the last time you closed your eyes?
The time when you just needed to do it.
The time when you felt you had to.
The time when you tried your best to flee from the rumblings around.
Well?
Did it work?
Were you able to see differently? Clearly? Blurry?
Did your environment change?
Did your perception change?
Did you change?
People cope differently. Some well, some don't.
Sometimes, in the middle of it all you feel that you're a mess, a wreck, a walking disaster in sight.
Even up to the point of anhedonia.
What did you do then?
Did you run?
Did you escape?
Did you shut your world?
You could.
Or would you?
You can.
Or can you?
Shut your eyes.
Clear your mind.
Breathe deeply.
And open your eyes again.
What do you see now?
The time when you just needed to do it.
The time when you felt you had to.
The time when you tried your best to flee from the rumblings around.
Well?
Did it work?
Were you able to see differently? Clearly? Blurry?
Did your environment change?
Did your perception change?
Did you change?
People cope differently. Some well, some don't.
Sometimes, in the middle of it all you feel that you're a mess, a wreck, a walking disaster in sight.
Even up to the point of anhedonia.
What did you do then?
Did you run?
Did you escape?
Did you shut your world?
You could.
Or would you?
You can.
Or can you?
Shut your eyes.
Clear your mind.
Breathe deeply.
And open your eyes again.
What do you see now?
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
YOUTH...
What inexplicable madness!
Such unfathomable ardor.
How inexorably necessary!
Youth. Innocent. Untainted. Pure.
Gander at its ignorance of the world bequeathed.
The simplicity and uncomplicated propositions.
Ah, one wishes it to be eternal.
To last til' lifetime.
For some wishes that life, would be ultimate, but, a few would rather have youth with them.
What magnificence does being young bring forth?
From physical auras to ecstatic emotions to thoughts of non-mundane nature.
Occurrences randomly weaved, tangled, inter-connected, however, unfazed.
In between pragmatism, idealism and realism, youth thinks what one thinks.
Unstoppable.
Charging towards principles formed, new ones.
For immaturity can be advantageous.
The youth, the force that it is reckoned with.
Priceless.
Alas, just as memories and feelings are fleeting, so does the youth.
"For that- for that - I would give everything! Yes, there is nothing in the world I would not give! I would give my soul for that! - Dorian Gray, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Such unfathomable ardor.
How inexorably necessary!
Youth. Innocent. Untainted. Pure.
Gander at its ignorance of the world bequeathed.
The simplicity and uncomplicated propositions.
Ah, one wishes it to be eternal.
To last til' lifetime.
For some wishes that life, would be ultimate, but, a few would rather have youth with them.
What magnificence does being young bring forth?
From physical auras to ecstatic emotions to thoughts of non-mundane nature.
Occurrences randomly weaved, tangled, inter-connected, however, unfazed.
In between pragmatism, idealism and realism, youth thinks what one thinks.
Unstoppable.
Charging towards principles formed, new ones.
For immaturity can be advantageous.
The youth, the force that it is reckoned with.
Priceless.
Alas, just as memories and feelings are fleeting, so does the youth.
"For that- for that - I would give everything! Yes, there is nothing in the world I would not give! I would give my soul for that! - Dorian Gray, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The No Show Show
It seems not all posts need to be explained.
Excuse yourself G for being too naughty when people are getting too nice for the holidays.
I'm guessing Santa won't give you a present for this year.
;)
Excuse yourself G for being too naughty when people are getting too nice for the holidays.
I'm guessing Santa won't give you a present for this year.
;)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
A Tight One
Hugs. That silly bodily contact we offer.
They reveal more from the person.
From the giver or the receiver.
Its nature is more believable, more acceptable than a kiss.
When you hug, you let the person know how much they mean to you.
Even if it's a simple gesture of appreciation or a better one like that of affection.
And you know what?
It always shows how you deeply feel.
The warmth and comfort it brings, the relief it provides, the emotion it draws.
Hugs make anyone feel secured and safe, it's as if the world outside doesn't matter anymore, that everything, every little thing will be alright.
And it will be...
because every one will always be there to share it with.
They reveal more from the person.
From the giver or the receiver.
Its nature is more believable, more acceptable than a kiss.
When you hug, you let the person know how much they mean to you.
Even if it's a simple gesture of appreciation or a better one like that of affection.
And you know what?
It always shows how you deeply feel.
The warmth and comfort it brings, the relief it provides, the emotion it draws.
Hugs make anyone feel secured and safe, it's as if the world outside doesn't matter anymore, that everything, every little thing will be alright.
And it will be...
because every one will always be there to share it with.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The Trip
If it isn't G and his ruminations in life.
Another day of boredom I see.
They say boredom kills. I say boredom seeks.
When the day seems too excruciatingly unexcited and dull, one must search for the fun things around.
After all, we are creatures of incomplete contentment.
With three boys on the list, you can't go wrong nor unfulfilled.
And with the weekend right under your nose, G, I suppose one out of three isn't bad at all.
But you know how the saying goes that three is a company and four is a crowd?
Why not make it a pleasurable crowd then?
Oh you and your impulses never cease to amaze me.
And you say anyone who tickles your fancy?
;)
Another day of boredom I see.
They say boredom kills. I say boredom seeks.
When the day seems too excruciatingly unexcited and dull, one must search for the fun things around.
After all, we are creatures of incomplete contentment.
With three boys on the list, you can't go wrong nor unfulfilled.
And with the weekend right under your nose, G, I suppose one out of three isn't bad at all.
But you know how the saying goes that three is a company and four is a crowd?
Why not make it a pleasurable crowd then?
Oh you and your impulses never cease to amaze me.
And you say anyone who tickles your fancy?
;)
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
An Era Anew
With the turn of another decade, of ten years, of half score, promises sprout beneath.
With hurdles and jumps and risks and falls, tomorrow grows.
In cherish and thought and seize and wonder, one might be asunder.
Of abstract, of concrete, of intangible or not.
As the year comes to a close a person might feel.
Of trust or doubt or pride and about.
Inklings of past are there to be reminded.
That we make mistakes in unconventional of ways.
In vague and deep, shallow or defeat.
Some look at it from way beneath, from peculiarities, from normalcies.
For some even surrender to the odds.
In a snap, in a whack, in the queerest of kinds.
Of stealing and reeling and dealing with feeling.
Amazement in such tragedies and ecstasies.
The search for another milestone shall commence in a bit.
Prepare yourself for it will be a great hit.
With hurdles and jumps and risks and falls, tomorrow grows.
In cherish and thought and seize and wonder, one might be asunder.
Of abstract, of concrete, of intangible or not.
As the year comes to a close a person might feel.
Of trust or doubt or pride and about.
Inklings of past are there to be reminded.
That we make mistakes in unconventional of ways.
In vague and deep, shallow or defeat.
Some look at it from way beneath, from peculiarities, from normalcies.
For some even surrender to the odds.
In a snap, in a whack, in the queerest of kinds.
Of stealing and reeling and dealing with feeling.
Amazement in such tragedies and ecstasies.
The search for another milestone shall commence in a bit.
Prepare yourself for it will be a great hit.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Hence Gone
I could hear my heart beating louder than my footsteps.
The footsteps I was taking were getting smaller by the second.
Every second feels as if time was slowly creeping into my life.
Life or lack thereof was staring completely into my face.
The face exceptionally familiar since conception.
Since conception I have come to realize that youth vanishes.
As it vanishes so were the memories and feelings of past.
As past washes away all that was left of the person only solemnity remains.
And the remains of the person shall be buried who once was someone I admired.
Bye 'Lo...
The footsteps I was taking were getting smaller by the second.
Every second feels as if time was slowly creeping into my life.
Life or lack thereof was staring completely into my face.
The face exceptionally familiar since conception.
Since conception I have come to realize that youth vanishes.
As it vanishes so were the memories and feelings of past.
As past washes away all that was left of the person only solemnity remains.
And the remains of the person shall be buried who once was someone I admired.
Bye 'Lo...
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Of Sex, Text, Hang-ups, Hook-ups and TV Chats
As boredom arises to a maximum level I found myself going back and forth to a TV chat where messages are thrown continuously at the screen as if film credits would go aimlessly. I observed for a while taking very particular attention to what these people are - their gender, their sexuality, their purpose - for joining the chat room, and instantly, I got hooked.
Take this for example: A girl was looking for a guy who could be her bf with the last sentence as "as long as you don't lie". What? Where did that come from? Obviously this was from a former encounter.
And another one: A man is looking for an instant gf and his last sentence was "Makati area only". Ah yes, how awful it must have been for him to travel from somewhere far yet was not able to get a sweet girl's 'yes'.
And another chatter: A discreet bisexual looking for a hook-up.
These set of people are looking for something to amuse them or kill time or share their life with, then I realized how much loneliness people had felt looking. Temporary or long-lasting happiness, they are still on the prowl.
As the messages on the chat keep scrolling ultimately coming from any one, I thought I could use some fun that time and look for temporary happiness and maybe find something that would last but my conscience just could never dare do it. You see this is where it all started; my first hook-up and the successive ones so I know how it felt: from random chats to a one (or two or more) night stand to a text relationship to a pseudo-relationship to nothing at all. And in conclusion, you get tangled in this sticky web of would be, could be, should be's.
If there is one thing I have learned, it is the silver rule: Never Assume. I have learnt it, and so will they.
And then I changed the channel to Nickelodeon.
P.S. Today is World AIDS Day, get yourself tested before you get infected.
Take this for example: A girl was looking for a guy who could be her bf with the last sentence as "as long as you don't lie". What? Where did that come from? Obviously this was from a former encounter.
And another one: A man is looking for an instant gf and his last sentence was "Makati area only". Ah yes, how awful it must have been for him to travel from somewhere far yet was not able to get a sweet girl's 'yes'.
And another chatter: A discreet bisexual looking for a hook-up.
These set of people are looking for something to amuse them or kill time or share their life with, then I realized how much loneliness people had felt looking. Temporary or long-lasting happiness, they are still on the prowl.
As the messages on the chat keep scrolling ultimately coming from any one, I thought I could use some fun that time and look for temporary happiness and maybe find something that would last but my conscience just could never dare do it. You see this is where it all started; my first hook-up and the successive ones so I know how it felt: from random chats to a one (or two or more) night stand to a text relationship to a pseudo-relationship to nothing at all. And in conclusion, you get tangled in this sticky web of would be, could be, should be's.
But these people, these who endlessly provide their numbers for whatever reason they have, they still have not found what they are looking for yet, or, maybe they have but are not yet content.
If there is one thing I have learned, it is the silver rule: Never Assume. I have learnt it, and so will they.
And then I changed the channel to Nickelodeon.
P.S. Today is World AIDS Day, get yourself tested before you get infected.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Initial Impressions
Wow.
From the dark to light posts to superficial ones to the darkest. You guys have been so great.
Thank you...
This blog really has gone a long way but there is still one question I've been longing to ask people.
Split personalities are inevitable - as a blogger online and a person offline - there should be contrast and similarities somewhere.
Anyone is welcome to comment, even anonymous ones, and not to worry, do not think of it as being judgmental, after all, that can not be helped.
Veracity.
How do you see me as a blogger? :)
From the dark to light posts to superficial ones to the darkest. You guys have been so great.
Thank you...
This blog really has gone a long way but there is still one question I've been longing to ask people.
Split personalities are inevitable - as a blogger online and a person offline - there should be contrast and similarities somewhere.
Anyone is welcome to comment, even anonymous ones, and not to worry, do not think of it as being judgmental, after all, that can not be helped.
Veracity.
How do you see me as a blogger? :)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Friday Frenzy!
Five-thirty in the morning. The children woke up with a hint of dismay and discontent. They were still sleepy, they are growing children after all but it is a Friday and Friday means no excuse for being late and definitely no absent from class. With their teeny eyes still having difficulty to open and the side of their mouths resembled that of hard glue, they tossed their blankets aside and went down, trudging. The two pretended not to fix their beds hoping that their household helper would do it for them.
The older child went down first while the second followed, their staircase consists of 14 plights of wood made it seem as if they were going 28 plights down , their eyes still half-open and their minds still half-asleep. Down they go to the comfort room to wash their soiled faces while their mother prepares breakfast - fried eggs, butter, cheese spread and pan de sal - typical viands for a typical day. As they washed their faces on the lavatory their consciousness seem to awaken but not quite; they still needed a push or something to that effect. Maybe breakfast would give them that push, maybe not, maybe a little, maybe more than just a little. Their Mom called them to sit and have something to eat but the thing is, children usually feel full during mornings especially on mornings that they feel like not waking up, urging them to eat even just a little, the kids grabbed one pan de sal each and munched them forcefully where each swallow seemed stuck to their throats. After heavily finishing a so-called-meal the younger one proceeded to the comfort room while the older one proceeded to the bath room, this has been a system of them since the beginning of their schooling days, sometimes the older would go to the comfort room first while the younger one will take a bath but most often than not, they stuck to their system which works fine with them. Now the younger child is the slower of the two especially once inside the comfort room. Why is that? Because a power nap commences once the toilet bowl has been sat upon and this makes the older child fuming mad, well, because it is a swapping proposition and time is of the essence when it is a school day. But this day, this day is something different, way before the younger kid could close its young eyes, the older kid already made a warning and since the younger child has the least amount of power in the household hierarchy, following an order is inevitable.
After finishing their respective routinary hygiene maintenance, they are now ready to put on their school uniform. Surprisingly, they did it in such short notice, maybe because any time soon their school bus will be honking its irritable horn and it would be time to learn again in school. The younger child placed the bag on the back while the older one placed the bag by the right shoulder and off they go out their garage for them to be picked-up by their school bus. While waiting, they opted to go to their favorite store which was two houses away from theirs, it was a small store but it offers a whole lot of retail: from candies, biscuits, cookies, breads, to cup noodles, canned goods and frozen treats. It was a small store but for the two it was already just like a supermarket albeit a convenient one. The older kid decided to purchase Marie biscuits, you know those brown-colored round shaped ones in red plastic packets? Yes, those. While the younger one opted for the Rebisco Strawberry-flavored crackers, a favorite treat for the child. The two purchases costs a peso and fifty cents and two pesos and fifty centavos respectively. Those were the days. Both tucked their treats into their bags and went home. Upon walking home, a vehicle so familiar was now turning to their street, they recognized it so well that they dashed to it incessantly! The school bus! The school bus! They kept shouting to their parents as if there was an emergency. The mother went rushing outside verified if it was really the school bus. It definitely is. With a hasty kiss on their Mom's cheek, off they go to their last day of school for the week. With their eyes gleaming with delight and their mood rising like the sun, they were most certainly ready to meet, greet and interact with their teachers and classmates again. For at least five hours that is.
The older child went down first while the second followed, their staircase consists of 14 plights of wood made it seem as if they were going 28 plights down , their eyes still half-open and their minds still half-asleep. Down they go to the comfort room to wash their soiled faces while their mother prepares breakfast - fried eggs, butter, cheese spread and pan de sal - typical viands for a typical day. As they washed their faces on the lavatory their consciousness seem to awaken but not quite; they still needed a push or something to that effect. Maybe breakfast would give them that push, maybe not, maybe a little, maybe more than just a little. Their Mom called them to sit and have something to eat but the thing is, children usually feel full during mornings especially on mornings that they feel like not waking up, urging them to eat even just a little, the kids grabbed one pan de sal each and munched them forcefully where each swallow seemed stuck to their throats. After heavily finishing a so-called-meal the younger one proceeded to the comfort room while the older one proceeded to the bath room, this has been a system of them since the beginning of their schooling days, sometimes the older would go to the comfort room first while the younger one will take a bath but most often than not, they stuck to their system which works fine with them. Now the younger child is the slower of the two especially once inside the comfort room. Why is that? Because a power nap commences once the toilet bowl has been sat upon and this makes the older child fuming mad, well, because it is a swapping proposition and time is of the essence when it is a school day. But this day, this day is something different, way before the younger kid could close its young eyes, the older kid already made a warning and since the younger child has the least amount of power in the household hierarchy, following an order is inevitable.
After finishing their respective routinary hygiene maintenance, they are now ready to put on their school uniform. Surprisingly, they did it in such short notice, maybe because any time soon their school bus will be honking its irritable horn and it would be time to learn again in school. The younger child placed the bag on the back while the older one placed the bag by the right shoulder and off they go out their garage for them to be picked-up by their school bus. While waiting, they opted to go to their favorite store which was two houses away from theirs, it was a small store but it offers a whole lot of retail: from candies, biscuits, cookies, breads, to cup noodles, canned goods and frozen treats. It was a small store but for the two it was already just like a supermarket albeit a convenient one. The older kid decided to purchase Marie biscuits, you know those brown-colored round shaped ones in red plastic packets? Yes, those. While the younger one opted for the Rebisco Strawberry-flavored crackers, a favorite treat for the child. The two purchases costs a peso and fifty cents and two pesos and fifty centavos respectively. Those were the days. Both tucked their treats into their bags and went home. Upon walking home, a vehicle so familiar was now turning to their street, they recognized it so well that they dashed to it incessantly! The school bus! The school bus! They kept shouting to their parents as if there was an emergency. The mother went rushing outside verified if it was really the school bus. It definitely is. With a hasty kiss on their Mom's cheek, off they go to their last day of school for the week. With their eyes gleaming with delight and their mood rising like the sun, they were most certainly ready to meet, greet and interact with their teachers and classmates again. For at least five hours that is.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Expecting From The Unexpected
Tuesday morning...
G: You know I'm online.
RB: Hey babe!
RB: No I didn't.
G: You seem to be preoccupied too much.
RB: Yeah, work is tiring. How's your sleep? And I have no load! Hehe.
G: It's okay. You can't seem to send a message even a simple 'good night' here in FB.
RB: I don't usually have time.
G: And you have time to update your posts here?
RB: Look, if you're pissed don't blame it on me. Not on a morning.
He went offline.
We met once in a party hosted by a good friend of mine, the celebrant. He was another one's date that time and I for one do not have any. We were introduced but that was it, we did not talk nor exchange numbers. Then one day he added me up in Facebook which was surprising because I was not expecting that from him. Funny thing is that I primarily can not recognize him. And there, there we introduced ourselves, we talked about his life while I talked about mine. Oh, I loved every minute that we shared, I get all excited and bedazzled even if what we talk about are on a daily basis. We already had plans, not many but quite a few, he was there to support me in any way he can and of course I supported him to the best that I could. We did not tell any one, we thought it was best to be mum about it until we were able to see each other again. A good couple of months passed without a hitch. We were, superficially falling for one another.
He resides in Cebu.
And I am in Manila.
Most of the people I have talked to say that it won't work, it will never work. Long distance relationships are bound to be doomed the minute you commit yourself to one but I was being positive that time. You know what I said to a friend when he asked why I did make it happen?
"I have experienced the most impossible things I have never thought I would encounter, this one, this one is possible. Difficult but possible."
I sent him a message shortly after our heated discussion: I was just expecting too much from you. I'm sorry.
With which he replied in much gusto: I think we need to take a break, priorities must be settled. Maybe it was too fast for us.
And with that I replied to show that I have no qualms about his abrupt decision: Priorities. Yes. Take a break? Why don't we make it official? :)
Every one puts their most delicate emotion at risk for the sake of finding some one. That is what makes you and me and all of us feel genuine towards a person we find worthy to risk it all.
Alas, we were unofficially on and now we are officially off.
G: You know I'm online.
RB: Hey babe!
RB: No I didn't.
G: You seem to be preoccupied too much.
RB: Yeah, work is tiring. How's your sleep? And I have no load! Hehe.
G: It's okay. You can't seem to send a message even a simple 'good night' here in FB.
RB: I don't usually have time.
G: And you have time to update your posts here?
RB: Look, if you're pissed don't blame it on me. Not on a morning.
He went offline.
We met once in a party hosted by a good friend of mine, the celebrant. He was another one's date that time and I for one do not have any. We were introduced but that was it, we did not talk nor exchange numbers. Then one day he added me up in Facebook which was surprising because I was not expecting that from him. Funny thing is that I primarily can not recognize him. And there, there we introduced ourselves, we talked about his life while I talked about mine. Oh, I loved every minute that we shared, I get all excited and bedazzled even if what we talk about are on a daily basis. We already had plans, not many but quite a few, he was there to support me in any way he can and of course I supported him to the best that I could. We did not tell any one, we thought it was best to be mum about it until we were able to see each other again. A good couple of months passed without a hitch. We were, superficially falling for one another.
He resides in Cebu.
And I am in Manila.
Most of the people I have talked to say that it won't work, it will never work. Long distance relationships are bound to be doomed the minute you commit yourself to one but I was being positive that time. You know what I said to a friend when he asked why I did make it happen?
"I have experienced the most impossible things I have never thought I would encounter, this one, this one is possible. Difficult but possible."
I sent him a message shortly after our heated discussion: I was just expecting too much from you. I'm sorry.
With which he replied in much gusto: I think we need to take a break, priorities must be settled. Maybe it was too fast for us.
And with that I replied to show that I have no qualms about his abrupt decision: Priorities. Yes. Take a break? Why don't we make it official? :)
Every one puts their most delicate emotion at risk for the sake of finding some one. That is what makes you and me and all of us feel genuine towards a person we find worthy to risk it all.
Alas, we were unofficially on and now we are officially off.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Word: Expectations
Expectations must be kept minimum so as not to disappoint both parties. If it exceeds then great, if not then at least you have nothing to write home about.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The Twink Schools (2)
From Paranaque to Muntinlupa to Makati to Greenhills to Quezon City, we have gone a long way to find what schools offer the most delectable (delectable???), most scrumptious (scrumptious???), most delicious (delicious???) twinks in the metro. Shall we make another worthy trip?
(Parentheses are used for phrases, often explanatory or qualifying, inserted into a passage with which it is not grammatically connected, and marked)
The majority of schools are in Manila, let's take a trip down to the Capital of the NCR.
1. De La Salle University - Taft - Come on, DLSU has much chinky eyed hunks as much as Filipino people eat rice as their staple. Well, some hunks, some are not but what the heck, we still love 'em. Right, Archers? And the best part of it all...EeeeeeennnnnncccchhhhhhoooooonnnnngggggDeeeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyLaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbYuuuuuuuuu!!!!
Hahahaha!
2. De La Salle - College of St. Benilde - Just across DLSU-T is DLS-CSB, a school teeming, brimming and rimming, oh sorry not rimming, with twinks, from frosh of every College to graduating students, come on, this school offers variety. Amen.
3. Philippine Women's University - Now when I first heard this school I thought it was an all girls school, lo and behold, it's actually a co-ed one but nevertheless, their twink line-up ranges from okay to alright to oh yeah! especially those taking HRM.
4. University of the Philippines - Manila - Right smack in Pedro Gil is UPM, this University definitely has its fair share of beauty and brains but since this is such a superficial post then let's get it on with beauty, first and foremost. College of Dentistry students. Say it with me: College of Dentistry students.
5. Mapua Institute of Technology - This predominantly male College has tons and tons of twinks to salivate at. Of course the more the options the merrier. Even those taking Metallurgical Engineering have some candidates of their own. Oh yes, their girls are okay but not Assumption okay. Oh well, the focus here are the twinks anyway.
6. Lyceum of the Philippines University - Oooh, another interesting school since I don't usually pass by here. When I first met someone who studied here I thought: "Yuck, guys are like him here?" Then as I met another one from this school (think Rain with a darker hue), it changed my perspective a little and then I met this guy from a party who was also studying here (think bad boy looks with bf and gf simultaneously) and the rest is history. Spotting here is not that easy but once you go inside, there you shall see light, in the form of those athletic, sporty, hunky twinks. The best would be in the College of Tourism and Interdisciplinary Studies.
7. Far Eastern University - When I pass through this school and check on people, I can't seem to see local twinks: from those taking up Nursing to Business Management to Mass Communication, it seems that this school is doomed to be out of resources but when I looked closer, the more I noticed something...they have Korean twinks! Would you believe that? I know, I know, Koreans here are fast becoming part of the country and it's actually great. Most of them literally dress and look like those in Koreanovelas.
Note to readers: If ever you see guys who look like Kim Bum or Wu Chun, you know who to inform. This is not a death threat, I repeat, this is not a death threat.
8. University of Santo Tomas - The Pontifical University offers a myriad of flavors, I can tell, I almost always see a drool-worthy twink from any of their Colleges. Take note: I didn't study here. And yes, their students at the College of Medicine are just to sigh and lie and die for. :)
9. San Beda College - Manila - From Alabang to Manila, my, my, we have gone a long way but let me tell you this: if you have a knack for twink-hopping and don't have the time to roam around Manila, I suggest you stay outside their enormous gate and there you shall see the best twink offerings from any other school around. I tell you no lie. The best twinks are from their College of Arts and Sciences. Geez, suddenly I'm feeling warm all over.
10. St. Jude High School - Yeah, from College down to High School, this is more my thing, really, so save the drama and read on. This school is very famous because of its Math whiz champions but of course I wouldn't divulge into that because I'm not interested. I'm more interested in those cute Chinese twinks you see coming in and out of their campus. Cute Chinese High School twinks with abs. I could just grab one guy and lock him in our house. And no, I won't ask for any ransom - his purity would be adequate.
11. Chiang Kai Shek College - Basing from the name, it's a Chinese school and a good Chinese school to be exact. From High school boys to College guys this school has almost everything in their arsenal, well, except me to have them all. Yes, possessive much.
That just rounds about all of the schools which I think have the most number of cute twinks to offer. If you are not satisfied with the list then uh, I guess you'd just need to find out for yourself.
Oh man! I suddenly feel warmer now...
Excuse me.
(Parentheses are used for phrases, often explanatory or qualifying, inserted into a passage with which it is not grammatically connected, and marked)
The majority of schools are in Manila, let's take a trip down to the Capital of the NCR.
1. De La Salle University - Taft - Come on, DLSU has much chinky eyed hunks as much as Filipino people eat rice as their staple. Well, some hunks, some are not but what the heck, we still love 'em. Right, Archers? And the best part of it all...EeeeeeennnnnncccchhhhhhoooooonnnnngggggDeeeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyLaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbYuuuuuuuuu!!!!
Hahahaha!
2. De La Salle - College of St. Benilde - Just across DLSU-T is DLS-CSB, a school teeming, brimming and rimming, oh sorry not rimming, with twinks, from frosh of every College to graduating students, come on, this school offers variety. Amen.
3. Philippine Women's University - Now when I first heard this school I thought it was an all girls school, lo and behold, it's actually a co-ed one but nevertheless, their twink line-up ranges from okay to alright to oh yeah! especially those taking HRM.
4. University of the Philippines - Manila - Right smack in Pedro Gil is UPM, this University definitely has its fair share of beauty and brains but since this is such a superficial post then let's get it on with beauty, first and foremost. College of Dentistry students. Say it with me: College of Dentistry students.
5. Mapua Institute of Technology - This predominantly male College has tons and tons of twinks to salivate at. Of course the more the options the merrier. Even those taking Metallurgical Engineering have some candidates of their own. Oh yes, their girls are okay but not Assumption okay. Oh well, the focus here are the twinks anyway.
6. Lyceum of the Philippines University - Oooh, another interesting school since I don't usually pass by here. When I first met someone who studied here I thought: "Yuck, guys are like him here?" Then as I met another one from this school (think Rain with a darker hue), it changed my perspective a little and then I met this guy from a party who was also studying here (think bad boy looks with bf and gf simultaneously) and the rest is history. Spotting here is not that easy but once you go inside, there you shall see light, in the form of those athletic, sporty, hunky twinks. The best would be in the College of Tourism and Interdisciplinary Studies.
7. Far Eastern University - When I pass through this school and check on people, I can't seem to see local twinks: from those taking up Nursing to Business Management to Mass Communication, it seems that this school is doomed to be out of resources but when I looked closer, the more I noticed something...they have Korean twinks! Would you believe that? I know, I know, Koreans here are fast becoming part of the country and it's actually great. Most of them literally dress and look like those in Koreanovelas.
Note to readers: If ever you see guys who look like Kim Bum or Wu Chun, you know who to inform. This is not a death threat, I repeat, this is not a death threat.
8. University of Santo Tomas - The Pontifical University offers a myriad of flavors, I can tell, I almost always see a drool-worthy twink from any of their Colleges. Take note: I didn't study here. And yes, their students at the College of Medicine are just to sigh and lie and die for. :)
9. San Beda College - Manila - From Alabang to Manila, my, my, we have gone a long way but let me tell you this: if you have a knack for twink-hopping and don't have the time to roam around Manila, I suggest you stay outside their enormous gate and there you shall see the best twink offerings from any other school around. I tell you no lie. The best twinks are from their College of Arts and Sciences. Geez, suddenly I'm feeling warm all over.
10. St. Jude High School - Yeah, from College down to High School, this is more my thing, really, so save the drama and read on. This school is very famous because of its Math whiz champions but of course I wouldn't divulge into that because I'm not interested. I'm more interested in those cute Chinese twinks you see coming in and out of their campus. Cute Chinese High School twinks with abs. I could just grab one guy and lock him in our house. And no, I won't ask for any ransom - his purity would be adequate.
11. Chiang Kai Shek College - Basing from the name, it's a Chinese school and a good Chinese school to be exact. From High school boys to College guys this school has almost everything in their arsenal, well, except me to have them all. Yes, possessive much.
That just rounds about all of the schools which I think have the most number of cute twinks to offer. If you are not satisfied with the list then uh, I guess you'd just need to find out for yourself.
Oh man! I suddenly feel warmer now...
Excuse me.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Spontaneous Saturday Silliness
Let's start the day with funny yet thought-stimulating statements - shall we?
1. A prestigious healthcare Institution advertisement:
"We love life and we love taking care of you, that's why we're giving you 50% off on all rooms."
Note to self: Incur Dengue or a systemic infection in order to partake in this once in a lifetime discount! This is just like your favorite clothing store on a whopping End-of-Season sale. How convenient.
2. A male looking for some booty call through a TV chat:
Hey my name is Mahrk, I'm looking for top guys. My number is 0917******* 0917******** 0917******** 0917******* 0917******** 0917******** 0917******** 0917******* I hate JUDGMENTAL people!!!
Note to texter: Baby, we're not even judging you, heck, we don't even know you. You judged yourself. Nuff said.
3. Blogger boy was at the comfort room while Mom was getting ready for work:
Mom: Are you finished?
G: No, not yet.
After 3 minutes.
Mom: Are you finished?
G: Mom, for the last time, not yet.
Note to people especially to Mothers: If someone doesn't come out of the comfort room just yet, it means they still haven't finished doing their business. Right? ;)
4. A sign at the door of a Veterinary clinic:
Emergency cases are allowed after clinic hours
Clinic hours: Monday - Friday
8am - 5pm
Note to pet owners: WTF?! Since when can an emergency take place after 5pm? Emergency cases are sporadic in nature. Duh...
5. A guy just celebrated his birthday and he sent all his thanks through a Facebook Status Update:
"Still have to say thanks who greeted me in my wall and those who sent me pms, thanks thanks. : )"
Note to people: Never thank people who give you digital PMS. You know it's a man's worst enemy when a woman has one.
People really are funny even if most try not to.
1. A prestigious healthcare Institution advertisement:
"We love life and we love taking care of you, that's why we're giving you 50% off on all rooms."
Note to self: Incur Dengue or a systemic infection in order to partake in this once in a lifetime discount! This is just like your favorite clothing store on a whopping End-of-Season sale. How convenient.
2. A male looking for some booty call through a TV chat:
Hey my name is Mahrk, I'm looking for top guys. My number is 0917******* 0917******** 0917******** 0917******* 0917******** 0917******** 0917******** 0917******* I hate JUDGMENTAL people!!!
Note to texter: Baby, we're not even judging you, heck, we don't even know you. You judged yourself. Nuff said.
3. Blogger boy was at the comfort room while Mom was getting ready for work:
Mom: Are you finished?
G: No, not yet.
After 3 minutes.
Mom: Are you finished?
G: Mom, for the last time, not yet.
Note to people especially to Mothers: If someone doesn't come out of the comfort room just yet, it means they still haven't finished doing their business. Right? ;)
4. A sign at the door of a Veterinary clinic:
Emergency cases are allowed after clinic hours
Clinic hours: Monday - Friday
8am - 5pm
Note to pet owners: WTF?! Since when can an emergency take place after 5pm? Emergency cases are sporadic in nature. Duh...
5. A guy just celebrated his birthday and he sent all his thanks through a Facebook Status Update:
"Still have to say thanks who greeted me in my wall and those who sent me pms, thanks thanks. : )"
Note to people: Never thank people who give you digital PMS. You know it's a man's worst enemy when a woman has one.
People really are funny even if most try not to.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Family Untied
Miguel's pace was getting slower, he was trying to figure out what to do with his life. The Aztec-inspired carpet was getting all the damage from his walk around the room.
With a last round of walk across the corners of his room, he sat at the edge of his bed and held the family portrait at the headboard. In an instant, he was transported to when the shot was taken - he could still remember how their smiles were genuine and real - not the way they act towards each other now; civil, too civil to even become personal again.
There were times when one would initiate a small talk just to see where it goes from there but it just was not possible. Small talks are non-existent, more so venting out. He did try though, once. It was when he thought it would be perfect time to come out of the closet and stay out. For weeks he thought of everything; from words to say, rebuttals to speak, phrases to provide and emotions to convey.
Euphemism - the art of substituting unpleasant words into more agreeable, less disdainful ones. Learning even applying this would be beneficial yet, it could back-fire dramatically.
He was recollecting of what he might actually utter in front of his parents knowing how narrow-minded they are when it comes to sex, sexuality and everything sex-related. Most importantly homosexuality.
You know that feeling when you already explained your side and every information they need to know? That feeling when you already told them that it will never happen or it will never be like that? That same feeling you clearly emphasized that your lifestyle will never be a part of their lifestyle because you know it would be too awkward and too humiliating for them? Exactly just like that.
Miguel persevered with an open mind, he was actually feeling a lot better for he knows that he will be able to speak what he really wanted to say, even if the risks outweigh, far outweigh being saved from judgment and discrimination.
Until the day finally arrived for him to face his strongest opponent, cowardice. He remembered it very clearly: it was a weekend, the parents were relaxed and comfortable, his Mom watching an HBO movie and his Dad cooking lunch for the whole family, shrimp tempura, Miguel's favorite dish. He already set out the place mats, plates, cutleries and glasses according to their places, but before calling them all out, he decided to have the talk, the I-Know-What-You -Did-Last-Summer kind of talk.
And they never talked about it since then nor is he talking to his Dad anymore. That was enough blow for him to curse reality. For months, he felt anhedonia.
As Miguel held tightly the family portrait of their former self, a tear ran down from his cheek, perhaps he really did miss the good old days when hopes and dreams were far yet reachable. He placed it back on the headboard and stood up and walked at a slow pace again.
He was rubbing his chin, a stubble was already growing and he needed to trim it down but now is not the time. He was out of optimism, he never did become a positive-thinker. He tried to but somehow he just could not quite get how Mary Sunshine jumped for joy and tell the world it is a beautiful place even if it is the exact opposite.
Armageddon. Miguel always thought of it as that, he sees the world as something that would go ka-boom! in an instant and all people would go ka-put...
Thinking of the cliche 'desperate times call for desperate measures', he was thinking of only one thing that time. Suicide. Sure, it is an escape, an alibi albeit an irrational one but for him that was his only option. So, what has a guy got to do to deal with it? That is where his brain-storming comes in.
"But come to think of it, I already had suicidal ideations at the age of ten when Dad and Mom would argue at the middle of the night for some stupid reasons." Miguel told himself while thinking of how to end life.
Funny how humans seem to devise plans that are too far-fetched and too outrageous to even begin with but somehow one way or another, someone manages to do just that. And he was not kidding to begin with.
He was now plucking those irritating tiny shafts of hair under his chin while thinking of his next move.
When suicide is inevitable, one must pass away beautifully as if on a journey.
Option 1: Gun shot - however there are three problems with this way. One, he does not own a gun nor any one in the house. Two, he does not want it to be so loud and guns give out a heart attack inducing bang! And three, he would totally look so disgusting and wasted after shooting himself. This is out of the options. Scratch.
Option 2: Old school tying of the rope to a horizontal wooden plank - immediately he saw that this is also not an option because first and foremost, it is so passe, barbaric, ancient even. He dismissed the idea as fast as he thought of it. Scratch.
Option 3: Drugs - ah the inevitable use of Science to alleviate suffering. A good choice, a good choice indeed. But a question arose, what type of medications? He could opt for dozens of types and kinds and strengths. Anti-depressants? Anti-anxieties? Steroids? Anti-histamines? Uppers? Downers? Narcotics? Potassium Chloride?
Miguel, smiled devilishly as if he was absolutely ready to put his plan into action...very soon.
Part 5
With a last round of walk across the corners of his room, he sat at the edge of his bed and held the family portrait at the headboard. In an instant, he was transported to when the shot was taken - he could still remember how their smiles were genuine and real - not the way they act towards each other now; civil, too civil to even become personal again.
There were times when one would initiate a small talk just to see where it goes from there but it just was not possible. Small talks are non-existent, more so venting out. He did try though, once. It was when he thought it would be perfect time to come out of the closet and stay out. For weeks he thought of everything; from words to say, rebuttals to speak, phrases to provide and emotions to convey.
Euphemism - the art of substituting unpleasant words into more agreeable, less disdainful ones. Learning even applying this would be beneficial yet, it could back-fire dramatically.
He was recollecting of what he might actually utter in front of his parents knowing how narrow-minded they are when it comes to sex, sexuality and everything sex-related. Most importantly homosexuality.
You know that feeling when you already explained your side and every information they need to know? That feeling when you already told them that it will never happen or it will never be like that? That same feeling you clearly emphasized that your lifestyle will never be a part of their lifestyle because you know it would be too awkward and too humiliating for them? Exactly just like that.
Miguel persevered with an open mind, he was actually feeling a lot better for he knows that he will be able to speak what he really wanted to say, even if the risks outweigh, far outweigh being saved from judgment and discrimination.
Until the day finally arrived for him to face his strongest opponent, cowardice. He remembered it very clearly: it was a weekend, the parents were relaxed and comfortable, his Mom watching an HBO movie and his Dad cooking lunch for the whole family, shrimp tempura, Miguel's favorite dish. He already set out the place mats, plates, cutleries and glasses according to their places, but before calling them all out, he decided to have the talk, the I-Know-What-You -Did-Last-Summer kind of talk.
And they never talked about it since then nor is he talking to his Dad anymore. That was enough blow for him to curse reality. For months, he felt anhedonia.
As Miguel held tightly the family portrait of their former self, a tear ran down from his cheek, perhaps he really did miss the good old days when hopes and dreams were far yet reachable. He placed it back on the headboard and stood up and walked at a slow pace again.
He was rubbing his chin, a stubble was already growing and he needed to trim it down but now is not the time. He was out of optimism, he never did become a positive-thinker. He tried to but somehow he just could not quite get how Mary Sunshine jumped for joy and tell the world it is a beautiful place even if it is the exact opposite.
Armageddon. Miguel always thought of it as that, he sees the world as something that would go ka-boom! in an instant and all people would go ka-put...
Thinking of the cliche 'desperate times call for desperate measures', he was thinking of only one thing that time. Suicide. Sure, it is an escape, an alibi albeit an irrational one but for him that was his only option. So, what has a guy got to do to deal with it? That is where his brain-storming comes in.
"But come to think of it, I already had suicidal ideations at the age of ten when Dad and Mom would argue at the middle of the night for some stupid reasons." Miguel told himself while thinking of how to end life.
Funny how humans seem to devise plans that are too far-fetched and too outrageous to even begin with but somehow one way or another, someone manages to do just that. And he was not kidding to begin with.
He was now plucking those irritating tiny shafts of hair under his chin while thinking of his next move.
When suicide is inevitable, one must pass away beautifully as if on a journey.
Option 1: Gun shot - however there are three problems with this way. One, he does not own a gun nor any one in the house. Two, he does not want it to be so loud and guns give out a heart attack inducing bang! And three, he would totally look so disgusting and wasted after shooting himself. This is out of the options. Scratch.
Option 2: Old school tying of the rope to a horizontal wooden plank - immediately he saw that this is also not an option because first and foremost, it is so passe, barbaric, ancient even. He dismissed the idea as fast as he thought of it. Scratch.
Option 3: Drugs - ah the inevitable use of Science to alleviate suffering. A good choice, a good choice indeed. But a question arose, what type of medications? He could opt for dozens of types and kinds and strengths. Anti-depressants? Anti-anxieties? Steroids? Anti-histamines? Uppers? Downers? Narcotics? Potassium Chloride?
Miguel, smiled devilishly as if he was absolutely ready to put his plan into action...very soon.
Part 5
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Twink Schools (1)
It comes to no surprise that G is actually fond of twinks. Yes, you read it correctly, I am head over heels over twinks and I just can't stop fantasizing over them. So here goes a list, one I have researched and investigated over the years of looking for the top twink boys. Pun intended.
Note: Generally High School-ish
Paranaque Area:
1. Montessori de Manila - A lot of private schools have sprouted in this city but none can offer the deliciousness of the boys (BOYS?!) at this school. Yeah, I drool over them once, or twice.
2. International Christian Academy - International facilities, international students, international feast. This school definitely has a lot of good set of students. One set ain't enough. Fine, call me insatiable.
3. St. Andrew's School - Yes, even though they were an all boys school I found their group lacking. Most of them just didn't make the cut but there are few, very few who made it on my list of an illusory gangbang. Yikes!!!
Spotting Place: None. Paranaque lacks a social scene. DAMN.
Holler to the mayor!
Muntinlupa Area:
1. De la Salle Zobel - They are drool-worthy! I tell you even if they're just 16 or 17 years old, if there is a chance I shall collect them like Pokemon cards to an addicted fan. Intense! Hahahaha!
2. Paref Southridge - I remember this young gay couple always hanging-out at a Starbucks. The taller (presumably top) guy is damn hot and handsome but the shorter (presumably bottom) guy is so-so. This school has a lot of good-looking twinks. They sure know how to screen applicants. :)
3. San Beda Alabang - This completes the triumvirate of twinky schools in Muntinlupa, boys here are deliciously good to ogle and salivate. Yes, boys, boys, and more boys makes a gay man happy. HP.
Spotting Place: Alabang Town Center. And this is why I loved working near here. Oh please, I don't stalk, I investigate.
Yeah right, G.
Makati Area:
1. Colegio San Agustin Makati - Now this is a disappointment being one of the elitist schools in Makati, I expected more from them. Before you raise your eyebrows at me and pull my hair, this is just an observation. I still remember when JC de Vera was the best friend of my cousin...I can't see any potential JC de Vera anymore.
2. Don Bosco Makati - Who would forget the all boys school of Makati? I have cousins and friends here but somehow I find most of them um, unappealing. Perhaps when they grow older? But come on! Papa needs a twink when I go to church at Don Bosco. Wahahaha! But nevertheless, a good option for twink hopping.
Spotting Place: The very well known Ayala Center. Oh and do drop by Greenbelt 3 for some cruising. And you know that comfort room at the digital hub area? A good place for some, ah, you know what I mean.
Greenhills, San Juan Area:
1. La Salle Greenhills - Of course I would include them in my list! They define the words lean, hunky and twinky all in a package worth savoring. Drool to death.
2. Xavier School - Well, well, well this school has a lot to offer and I mean a looooooooot! There, I'm exaggerating but who the heck cares. I love 'em just like I love bananas for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. ;)
Spotting Places: Greenhills Shopping Center, Robinson's Galleria. I remembered me and a former acquaintance spying um, I mean, investigating informally on this guy from LSGH (he was wearing a uniform, okay) checking if he'll be meeting a guy or a girl well, let's just say it was an epic fail of expectation for us. He met up with his parents. Grrr...
Quezon City Area:
1. Ateneo - Well of course I would include them in my list! These are Ateneo guys! Not boys, not men but guys. And they are looking fresher every time. Rawr.
2. Claret School - I have seen them, well okay not all of them (DUH!) and they're quite okay. Some are exceptional but overall they're okay.
Twink Score factor: 3/5
3. UPIS - Some of them play for the Junior version of the UAAP and they are sizzling. Hmmm...I just don't know if it's because of their bodies or their faces or both. I'll check further. Calling all UPIS twinks! Twink fetishist here! Wheeeeeee!
4. UP Diliman - This school has so many twinks as large as its campus! You'd have to be patient though but patience is a virtue so deal with it. It can be very rewarding, just you see.
Spotting Places: Trinoma and SM North - They're just scattered everywhere around the mall, go ahead and feast your eyes but please, no gaping mouths. Please.
Oh well, I can't think anymore so this caps off the list, my list, my dream list, my orgy list, my gangbang alakazam list.
P.S. Nope, I had never hooked up with a twink. I said this before and I shall say it again, they are just eye candies. One I would sink my teeth into but not quite.
"I can but I won't, I should but I don't."
Note: Generally High School-ish
Paranaque Area:
1. Montessori de Manila - A lot of private schools have sprouted in this city but none can offer the deliciousness of the boys (BOYS?!) at this school. Yeah, I drool over them once, or twice.
2. International Christian Academy - International facilities, international students, international feast. This school definitely has a lot of good set of students. One set ain't enough. Fine, call me insatiable.
3. St. Andrew's School - Yes, even though they were an all boys school I found their group lacking. Most of them just didn't make the cut but there are few, very few who made it on my list of an illusory gangbang. Yikes!!!
Spotting Place: None. Paranaque lacks a social scene. DAMN.
Holler to the mayor!
Muntinlupa Area:
1. De la Salle Zobel - They are drool-worthy! I tell you even if they're just 16 or 17 years old, if there is a chance I shall collect them like Pokemon cards to an addicted fan. Intense! Hahahaha!
2. Paref Southridge - I remember this young gay couple always hanging-out at a Starbucks. The taller (presumably top) guy is damn hot and handsome but the shorter (presumably bottom) guy is so-so. This school has a lot of good-looking twinks. They sure know how to screen applicants. :)
3. San Beda Alabang - This completes the triumvirate of twinky schools in Muntinlupa, boys here are deliciously good to ogle and salivate. Yes, boys, boys, and more boys makes a gay man happy. HP.
Spotting Place: Alabang Town Center. And this is why I loved working near here. Oh please, I don't stalk, I investigate.
Yeah right, G.
Makati Area:
1. Colegio San Agustin Makati - Now this is a disappointment being one of the elitist schools in Makati, I expected more from them. Before you raise your eyebrows at me and pull my hair, this is just an observation. I still remember when JC de Vera was the best friend of my cousin...I can't see any potential JC de Vera anymore.
2. Don Bosco Makati - Who would forget the all boys school of Makati? I have cousins and friends here but somehow I find most of them um, unappealing. Perhaps when they grow older? But come on! Papa needs a twink when I go to church at Don Bosco. Wahahaha! But nevertheless, a good option for twink hopping.
Spotting Place: The very well known Ayala Center. Oh and do drop by Greenbelt 3 for some cruising. And you know that comfort room at the digital hub area? A good place for some, ah, you know what I mean.
Greenhills, San Juan Area:
1. La Salle Greenhills - Of course I would include them in my list! They define the words lean, hunky and twinky all in a package worth savoring. Drool to death.
2. Xavier School - Well, well, well this school has a lot to offer and I mean a looooooooot! There, I'm exaggerating but who the heck cares. I love 'em just like I love bananas for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. ;)
Spotting Places: Greenhills Shopping Center, Robinson's Galleria. I remembered me and a former acquaintance spying um, I mean, investigating informally on this guy from LSGH (he was wearing a uniform, okay) checking if he'll be meeting a guy or a girl well, let's just say it was an epic fail of expectation for us. He met up with his parents. Grrr...
Quezon City Area:
1. Ateneo - Well of course I would include them in my list! These are Ateneo guys! Not boys, not men but guys. And they are looking fresher every time. Rawr.
2. Claret School - I have seen them, well okay not all of them (DUH!) and they're quite okay. Some are exceptional but overall they're okay.
Twink Score factor: 3/5
3. UPIS - Some of them play for the Junior version of the UAAP and they are sizzling. Hmmm...I just don't know if it's because of their bodies or their faces or both. I'll check further. Calling all UPIS twinks! Twink fetishist here! Wheeeeeee!
4. UP Diliman - This school has so many twinks as large as its campus! You'd have to be patient though but patience is a virtue so deal with it. It can be very rewarding, just you see.
Spotting Places: Trinoma and SM North - They're just scattered everywhere around the mall, go ahead and feast your eyes but please, no gaping mouths. Please.
Oh well, I can't think anymore so this caps off the list, my list, my dream list, my orgy list, my gangbang alakazam list.
P.S. Nope, I had never hooked up with a twink. I said this before and I shall say it again, they are just eye candies. One I would sink my teeth into but not quite.
"I can but I won't, I should but I don't."
Monday, November 15, 2010
To Dream Again
As the glory of the sun finally sets, its orange hue forming a nostalgic feeling of warmth and comfort, I look across the horizon where the orb of fire seem to drift slowly into the cascading vastness of the sky. And with that I let out my deepest sigh, one that I had taken so long to let it all out.
The rippled patterns of delicate clouds coupled with the colors dark blue, light blue, indigo and cotton candy pink remind me of calmness wherein conflicts seem inevitable but were unimportant that time.
Across the sand the sea portrayed serenity, the waves were more gentle, more subtle, with a perfect sound of splash. I let out an overwhelming feeling. There was that certain emotion just bursting to explode from your mind, your heart, your inner soul.
And after that I sobbed: I sobbed for I pondered all through the weeks what my purpose really was, I sobbed for I wondered long what I should do with life, and I sobbed for I thought there was a wall too high and too strong for me to hurdle and crush.
For the second time, I scanned the beach and it was still the way it is; calm, gentle, serene. Just like the way it would be for me.
Amidst realizing, I swore that the dream job may be postponed but the dreams shall be pursued.
The rippled patterns of delicate clouds coupled with the colors dark blue, light blue, indigo and cotton candy pink remind me of calmness wherein conflicts seem inevitable but were unimportant that time.
Across the sand the sea portrayed serenity, the waves were more gentle, more subtle, with a perfect sound of splash. I let out an overwhelming feeling. There was that certain emotion just bursting to explode from your mind, your heart, your inner soul.
And after that I sobbed: I sobbed for I pondered all through the weeks what my purpose really was, I sobbed for I wondered long what I should do with life, and I sobbed for I thought there was a wall too high and too strong for me to hurdle and crush.
For the second time, I scanned the beach and it was still the way it is; calm, gentle, serene. Just like the way it would be for me.
Amidst realizing, I swore that the dream job may be postponed but the dreams shall be pursued.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Feeling Like Celebrating
I fondly remembered a person saying that the birthday should be the happiest day of your life and I believed that person even if I forgot who that one is.
Birthday celebrations were never part of my annual itinerary for the reason that I know I could celebrate it in the simplest way I can; no birthday songs and certainly no freeloaders! But personal greetings are what I appreciate the most.
You see when I was a child I always did celebrate it, my birthday. There were always balloons, a large plate of spaghetti, hotdogs placed on wooden skewers with colorful marshmallows, pancit bihon, a humongous square-shaped mocha cake and candles aptly numbered according to my age. And over time I got less and less excited about celebrating it even with the people I love and treasure, call me an honorary pessimist but it is what it is. True, sometimes I get giddy and perky and jolly when birthday nearly arrives but when the actual day comes I feel, normal and not even Conti's nor Becky's nor Red Ribbon nor Goldilocks nor Banapple could cheer me up. I guess you get more practical with age, you get deeper, more realistic, you look past superficial celebrations.
This is me telling my two cents on my birthday and should not in any way be taken bad or worse than bad, really bad. Emotions and celebrations, somehow people would think the grander the celebration the more euphoria you feel but it is not always the case.
But enough about that, it is still my birthday. Thanks for those who greeted. I tell you it still warms my passive heart.
Birthday celebrations were never part of my annual itinerary for the reason that I know I could celebrate it in the simplest way I can; no birthday songs and certainly no freeloaders! But personal greetings are what I appreciate the most.
You see when I was a child I always did celebrate it, my birthday. There were always balloons, a large plate of spaghetti, hotdogs placed on wooden skewers with colorful marshmallows, pancit bihon, a humongous square-shaped mocha cake and candles aptly numbered according to my age. And over time I got less and less excited about celebrating it even with the people I love and treasure, call me an honorary pessimist but it is what it is. True, sometimes I get giddy and perky and jolly when birthday nearly arrives but when the actual day comes I feel, normal and not even Conti's nor Becky's nor Red Ribbon nor Goldilocks nor Banapple could cheer me up. I guess you get more practical with age, you get deeper, more realistic, you look past superficial celebrations.
This is me telling my two cents on my birthday and should not in any way be taken bad or worse than bad, really bad. Emotions and celebrations, somehow people would think the grander the celebration the more euphoria you feel but it is not always the case.
But enough about that, it is still my birthday. Thanks for those who greeted. I tell you it still warms my passive heart.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Certain Possibilities
"You are mine."
He thrusted his c*** inside P.
"You are all mine."
He thrusted yet again, more vigorous, more forceful.
"I will have you all to myself."
He thrusted repeatedly, back and forth, endless.
"Ugh..." Moaned P as Chris delivered his flesh into his.
"Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" With a last quick blow, Chris creamed inside. Seeds of lust were planted.
"Oh, shit!" P cussed while unloading a lust-induced juice.
Chris withdrew from P and, for a moment, he laid down next to his partner.
Another hungry man satiated.
Earlier that night, P had no intentions of hooking-up. All he knew is that he was ready for clubbing together with his friends and that was that.
"No sex, good boy." He chanted these words over and over again before and while at the club scene.
P was feeling it and oh, he was having the time of his life! From songs to friends to people, he was definitely liking this one night. But he has an oath and he has to stick with it even if it means going home early.
That is until he saw Chris. A fairly built guy with chinky eyes and a smile that made him so adorably cute. P was immediately smitten.
He tried to change places at the bar, he had to. He had to stray away from temptations. A new leaf? Perhaps that was it. But the word perhaps has so many possibilities.
Needless to stay he chose to go to the other side of the bar, away from Chris who at that time was still named unknown. He chose it there for people would not notice you easily.
Unfortunately, Chris followed and P had no idea.
Have you ever felt like you're being watched, stared at on a barren road at night? P had that, a gut feeling just like that.
He could not dance well like he was on live auditions: his feet planted to the floor, his arms glued to his side and his body afflicted with paralysis.
Chris, apparently was looking at him from a not so distant area - eyes intently focusing on a particular subject.
Awkward. And P is not the type of person who feels awkward inside a club; this is his turf, his territory, his target group. But something just seems off.
With a few more minutes passing Chris initiated towards P who was still at that time just drinking his Tanduay Ice while bopping his head to the beat of the song.
"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream..."
Someone tapped P's shoulder.
"Hey, I'm Chris. I saw you earlier but you transferred place. Wanna dance?"
Oh no...P thought but a man has to do what a man has to do.
"Sure! I'd love to." He had to put up a face, a reeling-to-go-face. Chris placed his hands around his waist and P held them gently.
And they ended up in bed.
Chris still gasping for air, now held P's hand and placed it on his chest.
"What's that for?" P asked.
"I just want you to know that my heart beats for you." Chris told him unashamedly.
"Thanks." And P held Chris' left hand and placed it on his c***.
"What's this for?" Chris asked.
"I just want you to know that this throbs for you." P joked.
"Jerk!" Chris replied while trying to hold the man's neck as if suffocating.
And P could only give out a light chuckle.
After their last encounter, the two went out everyday, knowing each other more and telling daily stories as if in a commitment. They were hanging-out after work, going to places together and even planning to go out of town in the near future.
After two weeks they stopped communicating as if nothing happened.
Expectations, humans seem to delve deep into them. Trying our very best to comprehend what may be or what may not be. Difficulties arise when certain promises were made with the consensus of the other, when certain possibilities were given, when certain motives were advanced.
Had we not given it the best that we could to turn something into some things?
But alas, certain expectations have opposing outcomes.
He thrusted his c*** inside P.
"You are all mine."
He thrusted yet again, more vigorous, more forceful.
"I will have you all to myself."
He thrusted repeatedly, back and forth, endless.
"Ugh..." Moaned P as Chris delivered his flesh into his.
"Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" With a last quick blow, Chris creamed inside. Seeds of lust were planted.
"Oh, shit!" P cussed while unloading a lust-induced juice.
Chris withdrew from P and, for a moment, he laid down next to his partner.
Another hungry man satiated.
Earlier that night, P had no intentions of hooking-up. All he knew is that he was ready for clubbing together with his friends and that was that.
"No sex, good boy." He chanted these words over and over again before and while at the club scene.
P was feeling it and oh, he was having the time of his life! From songs to friends to people, he was definitely liking this one night. But he has an oath and he has to stick with it even if it means going home early.
That is until he saw Chris. A fairly built guy with chinky eyes and a smile that made him so adorably cute. P was immediately smitten.
He tried to change places at the bar, he had to. He had to stray away from temptations. A new leaf? Perhaps that was it. But the word perhaps has so many possibilities.
Needless to stay he chose to go to the other side of the bar, away from Chris who at that time was still named unknown. He chose it there for people would not notice you easily.
Unfortunately, Chris followed and P had no idea.
Have you ever felt like you're being watched, stared at on a barren road at night? P had that, a gut feeling just like that.
He could not dance well like he was on live auditions: his feet planted to the floor, his arms glued to his side and his body afflicted with paralysis.
Chris, apparently was looking at him from a not so distant area - eyes intently focusing on a particular subject.
Awkward. And P is not the type of person who feels awkward inside a club; this is his turf, his territory, his target group. But something just seems off.
With a few more minutes passing Chris initiated towards P who was still at that time just drinking his Tanduay Ice while bopping his head to the beat of the song.
"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream..."
Someone tapped P's shoulder.
"Hey, I'm Chris. I saw you earlier but you transferred place. Wanna dance?"
Oh no...P thought but a man has to do what a man has to do.
"Sure! I'd love to." He had to put up a face, a reeling-to-go-face. Chris placed his hands around his waist and P held them gently.
And they ended up in bed.
Chris still gasping for air, now held P's hand and placed it on his chest.
"What's that for?" P asked.
"I just want you to know that my heart beats for you." Chris told him unashamedly.
"Thanks." And P held Chris' left hand and placed it on his c***.
"What's this for?" Chris asked.
"I just want you to know that this throbs for you." P joked.
"Jerk!" Chris replied while trying to hold the man's neck as if suffocating.
And P could only give out a light chuckle.
After their last encounter, the two went out everyday, knowing each other more and telling daily stories as if in a commitment. They were hanging-out after work, going to places together and even planning to go out of town in the near future.
After two weeks they stopped communicating as if nothing happened.
Expectations, humans seem to delve deep into them. Trying our very best to comprehend what may be or what may not be. Difficulties arise when certain promises were made with the consensus of the other, when certain possibilities were given, when certain motives were advanced.
Had we not given it the best that we could to turn something into some things?
But alas, certain expectations have opposing outcomes.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Top 5 Annual Shows Gay Guys Watch
Here's another list!
Check it and give it a go!
5. Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant
Ah yes, the pageant most of us have been waiting for for nearly 365 and one-fourth day. The music, the stage, the hosts, the performers, the runner-ups and the winner. It's a major, major no-brainer this comes into the list. Kelly Rowland, you rocked our world! Commander! Woohoo!
Plus credits go to gay guys who know the Filipina runner-up and winners.
Paging Ricky Lo.
4. Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio, Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Selita Ebanks, Marissa Miller and many, many, many more gorgeous bikini-babe bodies strutting their stuff at the catwalk. With wings adorned with precious stones, lingerie embossed with glorious crystals and bikinis laden with fine jewelry, the girls have it all going.
Yes, I have most of their songs in my Ipod because I'm bringing sexy back.
And no, Seal will never be part of my man fantasies.
3. Mossimo Bikini Summit
Oh where would we be without pageants with guys and their sizzling bodies? With faces and abs to boot, we drool over them (okay, sometimes at the ladies as well, if you say so).
Fine! I take it back! They're gloriously ripped from head to toe! Not just abs. Sniff...
2. Bench Blackout Show
Now this is fairly new and has already made itself as being controversial and well-watched. Where would you see showbiz personalities sticking their butt out for a moment? Pleasure again and again.
Plus points go to gay guys who can sniff out actors! Game? ;)
1. Cosmopolitan Magazine Bachelors Party
The epitome of gay drool.
The pinnacle of arousal.
The platinum standard of gay guys choice cut meats.
This show is titillating and knee-shaking. Well, aside from the jaw-dropping and teeth-gritting.
Insecure guys stay away from this one for it will make you cry and bawl. Nuff said.
Heard from a radio station a couple of years ago:
DJ1: Hey I was at the Cosmo Party last night and I had a blast!
DJ2: Oh yeah? How great was it?
DJ1: Well the party was really fun, booze and beautiful women combined although I was kinda curious during the entire show.
DJ2: Why is that?
DJ1: There were more male spectators than female!!!
Check it and give it a go!
5. Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant
Ah yes, the pageant most of us have been waiting for for nearly 365 and one-fourth day. The music, the stage, the hosts, the performers, the runner-ups and the winner. It's a major, major no-brainer this comes into the list. Kelly Rowland, you rocked our world! Commander! Woohoo!
Plus credits go to gay guys who know the Filipina runner-up and winners.
Paging Ricky Lo.
4. Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio, Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Selita Ebanks, Marissa Miller and many, many, many more gorgeous bikini-babe bodies strutting their stuff at the catwalk. With wings adorned with precious stones, lingerie embossed with glorious crystals and bikinis laden with fine jewelry, the girls have it all going.
Yes, I have most of their songs in my Ipod because I'm bringing sexy back.
And no, Seal will never be part of my man fantasies.
3. Mossimo Bikini Summit
Oh where would we be without pageants with guys and their sizzling bodies? With faces and abs to boot, we drool over them (okay, sometimes at the ladies as well, if you say so).
Fine! I take it back! They're gloriously ripped from head to toe! Not just abs. Sniff...
2. Bench Blackout Show
Now this is fairly new and has already made itself as being controversial and well-watched. Where would you see showbiz personalities sticking their butt out for a moment? Pleasure again and again.
Plus points go to gay guys who can sniff out actors! Game? ;)
1. Cosmopolitan Magazine Bachelors Party
The epitome of gay drool.
The pinnacle of arousal.
The platinum standard of gay guys choice cut meats.
This show is titillating and knee-shaking. Well, aside from the jaw-dropping and teeth-gritting.
Insecure guys stay away from this one for it will make you cry and bawl. Nuff said.
Heard from a radio station a couple of years ago:
DJ1: Hey I was at the Cosmo Party last night and I had a blast!
DJ2: Oh yeah? How great was it?
DJ1: Well the party was really fun, booze and beautiful women combined although I was kinda curious during the entire show.
DJ2: Why is that?
DJ1: There were more male spectators than female!!!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Statistics
Looking at the dashboard on this wonderful Sunday night, ready to fluff my pillows and unfold my blanket. I was curious of the Stats, you know, located at the upper right corner. I clicked it and waited for the page to open, lo and behold, the top referring URL seems to be familiar.
You, dear sir deeply amuse me.
And this is me being ambivalent.
Among other things.
And yes, we have nothing to talk about anything anymore anyway.
You, dear sir deeply amuse me.
And this is me being ambivalent.
Among other things.
And yes, we have nothing to talk about anything anymore anyway.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Top 5 Shows That Gay Guys Watch
5. America's Next Top Model
Of course! No gay guy would miss it for the world! Even if it's a bitch fit or their next pictorial challenge, or, their 'best shot', we would always be there ogling and rooting for them.
There, there, don't throw a tantrum when your favorite model goes back to the loft, packs her belongings and go. ;)
4. Hellcats
Admit it. No heterosexual guy would watch it for more than ten minutes. Sure Ashley Tisdale is a hottie and Aly Michalka is screaming 'eat my abs out!' but that does not mean guys actually watch it for the entire 60 minutes. Believe me, it's all about the basket tosses, pirouettes, back flips and bodies of the male cheerleaders. And Matt Barr's body. Amen.
3. Glee
Now I'm not saying that people in general who watch Glee are homosexuals but yeah, go figure us and our knack for musicals. I'm not musically-inclined but I still watch it although not really as often as Hellcats.
And I thought Charice will be there for the whole season. Hmp.
Oh please, someone who appreciates high-pitched notes, theatrical acts and productions certainly ticks all the boxes to be one of us.
2. Project Runway
From budding designers to mainstay judges this show would not even be watched by a straight guy even if his life depended on it.
Hypothetical Scene: A guy and his girlfriend watching the show while the models are sashaying on the ramp, suddenly the guy whispers to the girl's ear: I love how the designer draped the back, it's just fabulous.
Wahahahaha!
1. The Rachel Zoe Project
You die, I die, we all die when her show airs. The gay world stops for less than an hour but that's okay because we're always satisfied with her distinguishable statements, Taylor's drama and Brad's exaggeration.
Oookay so I learned how to pronounce Givenchy the right way thanks to her. Happy?!
Highlight of the show: Rachel buying vintage dresses. And we just all drool, for her of course.
Of course! No gay guy would miss it for the world! Even if it's a bitch fit or their next pictorial challenge, or, their 'best shot', we would always be there ogling and rooting for them.
There, there, don't throw a tantrum when your favorite model goes back to the loft, packs her belongings and go. ;)
4. Hellcats
Admit it. No heterosexual guy would watch it for more than ten minutes. Sure Ashley Tisdale is a hottie and Aly Michalka is screaming 'eat my abs out!' but that does not mean guys actually watch it for the entire 60 minutes. Believe me, it's all about the basket tosses, pirouettes, back flips and bodies of the male cheerleaders. And Matt Barr's body. Amen.
3. Glee
Now I'm not saying that people in general who watch Glee are homosexuals but yeah, go figure us and our knack for musicals. I'm not musically-inclined but I still watch it although not really as often as Hellcats.
And I thought Charice will be there for the whole season. Hmp.
Oh please, someone who appreciates high-pitched notes, theatrical acts and productions certainly ticks all the boxes to be one of us.
2. Project Runway
From budding designers to mainstay judges this show would not even be watched by a straight guy even if his life depended on it.
Hypothetical Scene: A guy and his girlfriend watching the show while the models are sashaying on the ramp, suddenly the guy whispers to the girl's ear: I love how the designer draped the back, it's just fabulous.
Wahahahaha!
1. The Rachel Zoe Project
You die, I die, we all die when her show airs. The gay world stops for less than an hour but that's okay because we're always satisfied with her distinguishable statements, Taylor's drama and Brad's exaggeration.
Oookay so I learned how to pronounce Givenchy the right way thanks to her. Happy?!
Highlight of the show: Rachel buying vintage dresses. And we just all drool, for her of course.
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