More Than Anything
The phone was vibrating and ringing simultaneously. I picked it up with skepticism.
Hello? Was my opening greeting.
Hello. Was his.
Um, yeah, how are you? I doubtingly asked.
I'm gooooood. Was his annoying reply.
I see, good to know that. Anything new? I added.
None. Just work and work. And work. Was his dull statement.
Good to know that.
(Silence)
By the way, I heard the song you sent through FB just the other night.
That song? But I sent it to you a long time ago.
Well, yeah, I know but our speakers got busted months ago so when I was helping my cousin do a three minute speech I asked if I could use their computer.
What was the song I sent to you again? He quickly said.
It was Carrie Underwood's "What Can I Say". And it's beautiful. I could relate. I told him, sadly.
Ah, yes, that one. I've picked up the phone a thousand times, and tried to dial your number, it's been so long.
What was that? I said with a slight hint of surprise.
I've picked up the phone a thousand times, and tried to dial your number, it's been so long. Part of the lyrics of the song. He added.
Ah, okay. I thought you were telling me that. I gave out a fake chuckle.
So, Lee, are you seeing someone?
Okay, so I wanna know. Is it a crime? ;)
Do I have to? He sarcastically rebutted.
No, I'm just asking you.
Well, none, your memories expire long.
(swallowed a gallon of saliva)
The call that started awkward suddenly went into a conversation we used to have. Him asking me about my family and stuff going on with my life and me asking him about his. The conversation lasted more than what I expected it to be. Actually, I wasn't ready to talk to him after what happened to us, it's not that I don't want to talk to him anymore, it's more of I'm not ready to talk to him for some unusual reason I can't fathom.
Humiliation? Could be.
Embarrassment? Hope not.
Unsolicited forgiveness? Already over.
Talking to him again made me feel important.
Special.
Appreciated.
Loved.
Secured.
But I can already sense from the way he talked that what we had will never return again.
I can live with that. After all, it was definitely better than nothing.
Hello? Was my opening greeting.
Hello. Was his.
Um, yeah, how are you? I doubtingly asked.
I'm gooooood. Was his annoying reply.
I see, good to know that. Anything new? I added.
None. Just work and work. And work. Was his dull statement.
Good to know that.
(Silence)
By the way, I heard the song you sent through FB just the other night.
That song? But I sent it to you a long time ago.
Well, yeah, I know but our speakers got busted months ago so when I was helping my cousin do a three minute speech I asked if I could use their computer.
What was the song I sent to you again? He quickly said.
It was Carrie Underwood's "What Can I Say". And it's beautiful. I could relate. I told him, sadly.
Ah, yes, that one. I've picked up the phone a thousand times, and tried to dial your number, it's been so long.
What was that? I said with a slight hint of surprise.
I've picked up the phone a thousand times, and tried to dial your number, it's been so long. Part of the lyrics of the song. He added.
Ah, okay. I thought you were telling me that. I gave out a fake chuckle.
So, Lee, are you seeing someone?
Okay, so I wanna know. Is it a crime? ;)
Do I have to? He sarcastically rebutted.
No, I'm just asking you.
Well, none, your memories expire long.
(swallowed a gallon of saliva)
The call that started awkward suddenly went into a conversation we used to have. Him asking me about my family and stuff going on with my life and me asking him about his. The conversation lasted more than what I expected it to be. Actually, I wasn't ready to talk to him after what happened to us, it's not that I don't want to talk to him anymore, it's more of I'm not ready to talk to him for some unusual reason I can't fathom.
Humiliation? Could be.
Embarrassment? Hope not.
Unsolicited forgiveness? Already over.
Talking to him again made me feel important.
Special.
Appreciated.
Loved.
Secured.
But I can already sense from the way he talked that what we had will never return again.
I can live with that. After all, it was definitely better than nothing.
better than nothing at all, eh?
ReplyDelete.
.
yeah. you are right.
at least we still have the memories to keep.
.
.
and the nice part is you're still in good terms with him.
i know the feeling.
ReplyDeleteThat's how the world works. No matter how you try to resurrect a past, once bonds get broken - violently - they get broken forever.
ReplyDeletei feel you already have something for that person, pinipigilan mo lang ang sarili mo na maramdaman yun
ReplyDeletereal people know how to forget pain..even anger...
and in the long run, learns how to forgive...
aww,atleast you two are still talking and friends after all kung ano man namagitan sa inyo.
ReplyDeleteCompromise is not necessarily a bad thing. If anything, it opens one up to other possibilities.
ReplyDeleteI take this as good news. :)
Sorry naman sa delayed chorva. Happy anniv and cheers to the new header!
ReplyDeleteThank you guys for the comments. I adore how each and everyone of you gives out an opinion based on what you have experienced. You see, I am not good with handling resentments, they haunt me almost everyday and each time I can't help but just sob or cry or weep. But I know lessons learned the hardest are the lessons learned the best.
ReplyDelete*Carrie - except for you! You seem to forget that you have a blog! How could you! Is this what being in love made you! Grrrr!
:)
good to hear you're in good terms with him and know your boundaries. :)
ReplyDeletebut isn't it weird when you have "normal" conversation? hehe
The hardest part is breaking the ice noh? :)
ReplyDeletei adore the new header! <3
*my-so-called-Quest - it was more awkward than weird because we did get into a lot of conversations before.
ReplyDelete*Nimmy - more of melting it... thanks, I researched and edited it just to get that perfect angle. Hehe. Glad you like it!
Sorry naman, G. Ngayon lang uli ako naging 16. Hahahaha!!! ~Carrie~
ReplyDelete