Adjusting or Adjusted?

I came out at 17.
I came out during my first time in Malate.

I came out thinking that everything will be alright after this.

I came out.

It's been 7 years ever since...

And I'm still adjusting.

I haven't been accustomed to it yet. I know it's weird but I can't help it. I'm still in the middle of the road figuring out which is which.

Don't get me wrong, I love being gay!

I just don't want to shout it out the world yet. And I don't think I ever will.

Think of it this way, I know I'm out, some people know I'm out but I don't need to tell them all that I'm out.

And what's one of my pet peeves? That I would know that I'm gay from a person I already told who I am. That's what irks me the most.
Why?
First and foremost I'm really a hands-on person and being that I don't want learning some of my life facts from someone I don't trust, yet. It's like you told a secret to a friend then this friend told another person your secret and another one and another one. A chain of secret revealed which is ironically not a secret anymore.
I don't want people to meddle on things that only I can repair, fix or spruce up. It's my life anyway.
With that being said, for me I find it hard to cope up.

I'm new at this company, I was referred by a trusted college friend and classmate. She knows who I am ever since we were classmates during college years, she knows what I've done, who I've hooked-up with, what type of person I am and I can be, and what I'm capable of doing. She's a very good friend of mine who has been with me through most of my ups and downs. Apparently, some of her officemates already knew what I am. Guess who told them? Exactly, my friend. The moment I sensed that people from the floor knew my sexuality, I knew I had to stay civil and professional not just to them but also to my friend.
Like what I said, I'm like in the middle of the road, still trying to choose my best option.

Immediately after shift I texted her and another colleague of hers who knows me also and told them that I don't want people telling me who I am from them.

I am getting comfortable with my sexuality it's just that something like that is still quite unacceptable for me. Hey, if people will come up to me and ask me what I am, I will definitely tell them that I'm gay, Happy and Gay.

Just for kicks, most of my new acquaintances in training still think I'm straight AND a virgin. Funny, funny, funny world.

What's your take on adjusting being gay?

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