Modern Day Bisexuality, Fact or Myth?

I am not gay. I am just having a phase right now so I want to experiment on some sexual aspects of my life.

This was what I was trying to tell myself when upon growing up I had urges seeing men and what they can offer.

I was convincing myself that a person goes through this phase of finding him or herself through curiosity and involvement. This is a fact.

What I was eagerly trying to dissipate is the fact that my yearning for men was actually the beginning of what was waiting for me in the middle of the road...

I am not gay, definitely not.

Yes, go ahead and convince yourself of what you really are not.

My mind is such a negative thinker.

Meeting and hooking-up with men are just some of what I need to know more about myself, I'll have a girlfriend sooner or later, I promise.

Yeah, great thinking dude, try not to fall into your own trap.

I never had a girlfriend, I used to court but somehow it felt different, that somehow, in a strange, diluted and twisted emotion, I still fall for guys...

Girls? Sure they're great to hang-out with! I grew up with their presence and most of the time I interacted with them more than boys, maybe, that's why I don't want to get involved with them, I see them merely as friends, acquaintances, colleagues but nothing more. Although, there were times that I want to get involved with them emotionally...

Why?

Primarily, they can handle emotions better than us. And, this is not just baloney talk, studies already were conducted in this aspect. They cope up better because they know how to vent and spill their emotions because they have a more bonded culture compared to testosterone-injected guys.

Second, they are great confidants, they stick to you through whatever is happening to you, they can be great sources of help and guidance. We have this also but well, according to Fergie, big (gay) guys don't cry, not in front of people. 

Lastly, they believe more in long-lasting relationships. This, this notion I have already seen. It's not something that people would make up. People have attested how women can handle longer relationships, I'm sure we all have different opinions on this one especially those who are bitter or have never experienced relationships with women but at some point, this is a fact.

Before I came out at 17 I already told myself I'm a Bisexual. Everyday I would simply do a mind-set that I'm 90% male and 10% female. Unfortunately, time passed and that mind-set of percentage dwindled. I won't tell you the exact percentage but you get the idea. :)

Anima and Animus, I first heard these two from Philosophy class, it was an integration of the female (anima) and male (animus) into the human body. Philosophers believed that we ALL have these two inside. Of course if you're a true blue male then animus would be the dominating factor and if you're an estrogen-producing specie then anima is your dominating factor.

So, what if you're a Bi or I mean a Bisexual? would you have 50-50? I'm completely appalled by this because a LOT of people are claiming they are Bisexual even though they don't even go out with girls. Does having a girlfriend as an ex categorize you as one? Does formerly courting girls categorize you as a Bi also? If you have intercourse with men and women, are you technically bisexual? It's confusing.

I do apologize but I am not making people's lives complicated but you see, if you see society as a major factor on how you view sexuality then I think you would be encapsulating yourself from the norms.

I honestly don't think claiming to be a Bisexual will be more acceptable to society.

More so if they know you haven't had a girlfriend and never, ever slept with a girlfriend once in your life. This is too ironic and I have used this already. Hehehe.

I consulted a lot of  gay friends on this topic, from Psychology student to fashion designer to guidance counselor to an early childhood education student and all of them told me the same thing, there is no such thing as a bisexual but of course I don't want to close my mind on this topic because this is very controversial and very much open to public hence, homo-hetero debate.

For the time being I would say that I still don't believe in bisexuality but my mind is still willing to embrace this idea. So argue with me your best key points if this is factual and maybe, I will accept it fully.

I have nothing against guys claiming to be bisexual, in the end process and for what it's worth, YOU are the master of your ship. Believe in your ideas then people will believe in you.

  

 

Adjusting or Adjusted?

I came out at 17.
I came out during my first time in Malate.

I came out thinking that everything will be alright after this.

I came out.

It's been 7 years ever since...

And I'm still adjusting.

I haven't been accustomed to it yet. I know it's weird but I can't help it. I'm still in the middle of the road figuring out which is which.

Don't get me wrong, I love being gay!

I just don't want to shout it out the world yet. And I don't think I ever will.

Think of it this way, I know I'm out, some people know I'm out but I don't need to tell them all that I'm out.

And what's one of my pet peeves? That I would know that I'm gay from a person I already told who I am. That's what irks me the most.
Why?
First and foremost I'm really a hands-on person and being that I don't want learning some of my life facts from someone I don't trust, yet. It's like you told a secret to a friend then this friend told another person your secret and another one and another one. A chain of secret revealed which is ironically not a secret anymore.
I don't want people to meddle on things that only I can repair, fix or spruce up. It's my life anyway.
With that being said, for me I find it hard to cope up.

I'm new at this company, I was referred by a trusted college friend and classmate. She knows who I am ever since we were classmates during college years, she knows what I've done, who I've hooked-up with, what type of person I am and I can be, and what I'm capable of doing. She's a very good friend of mine who has been with me through most of my ups and downs. Apparently, some of her officemates already knew what I am. Guess who told them? Exactly, my friend. The moment I sensed that people from the floor knew my sexuality, I knew I had to stay civil and professional not just to them but also to my friend.
Like what I said, I'm like in the middle of the road, still trying to choose my best option.

Immediately after shift I texted her and another colleague of hers who knows me also and told them that I don't want people telling me who I am from them.

I am getting comfortable with my sexuality it's just that something like that is still quite unacceptable for me. Hey, if people will come up to me and ask me what I am, I will definitely tell them that I'm gay, Happy and Gay.

Just for kicks, most of my new acquaintances in training still think I'm straight AND a virgin. Funny, funny, funny world.

What's your take on adjusting being gay?

Out and About

When I was younger I always convinced myself that I'm a heterosexual man bound to live a heterosexual life. My dream plan included a beautiful wife who understands and shares the joys and sorrows of living together, gorgeous kids who someday will be successful in their own ways, a comfortably-sized home where we can just relax and sit back and a job that entails further personal development and growth.
Fast forward to the future and most of what I had hoped seem to be all blur...
For one, I always felt that I was different in a weird kind of way, I always had this thing for guys but never for girls, I used to think of guys but barely of girls, I gush at guys' hugs but not with girls' smacks, I feel queasy at a guy's intimacy but not with a girl's flirting. With that said, there are just some things in life that takes a while getting used to.
There used to be a time when I fell in love with a girl...
She was a classmate way back elementary, actually, she was a former crush of my cousin, the three of us were classmates back then. She has this white complexion, chinky eyes, cute nose, thin lips, quite petite but great posture. We used to call her MACHO cause she was so un-girly and tomboy-ish when growing up, she's not bossy nor does she dress like a man but from her acts, she could pass to be a femme. Anyway, she was my epitome of beauty and brains, the benchmark of what is perfect from imperfect and what is a dream from reality. She was a consistent honor student garnering medals to medals and ribbons to ribbons. She might as well be Athena and Aphrodite reincarnated as a Chinese-looking girl. Yes, those were the days when I would daydream about her even when there was a lesson going on. I would be blushing everytime I would approach her and would bow my head when standing in front of her. I can almost say that I became straight even for this short period of time. I tried befriending her for the reason that maybe I could start something then work my way from there, I tried my best to impress her, tried talking with her, the works until finally we became close, I became her closest guy friend and now it was time to make my move...I gave her small tokens of appreciation, talked to her trying to get to know her more, pa-cute effects, smiling most of the time, heck, I was placing my best feet forward and that's an understatement! But somehow, I still felt like a loser not because she dumped me but because I know she only saw me as a friend. A good friend. And also I know we haven't established standards yet when it comes to finding someone but hers is just more of Mt. Olympus-like than Chocolate hills. So, I told myself I will be the best in every way that I can maybe not too academically but as a whole. She was the one I thought of everytime I'm going to do something like studying for an exam or joining the spelling bee. Somehow, I always knew that I couldn't be for her not until I bring up my greatest potential as a person. That someday, if time and fate will still permit, I will get back to her, kneel down in front and will ask to court her... I still tried to communicate and connect to her even though I transferred to another school and she still went for our former alma mater. I even, gulp, asked her out but most of the time she would decline. Although her mom has this fondness for me which made me feel like we were somehow meant. :) Anyway, time passed and I haven't heard from her, I can still remember the last thing I gave to her, it's a letter telling her how I'm happy to be her friend...I was literally too gay to tell her how I really felt when she's around.
P.S. Anne, I know you won't get the chance to read this blog but I just want to let you know I Loved You more than you'll ever know. 

The Hush on Being Discreet

Discreet- judicious in one's conduct or speech especially with regard to keeping silent about a delicate matter

Source: Webster's College Dictionary

How do you perceive discretion?

Would you associate it with self-preservation?

I have encountered people saying that discreet guys "are not being true to themselves!"

Why do you think they say that?

Let's look and see...

Majority of the people who voice out are the 'out' ones. They can do so because they already made themselves clear to the public that they are what they are, so forget about making them straight or the like. These guys are somewhat already comfortable with their sexuality and also comfortable on how they are in the society.

Then why do they feel irked at discreet guys?

They think that discreet guys are still closet gays who are still scared to reveal themselves on who they really are. In a sense they still are but let me just remind you that we have words self-preservation and intimidation... these words are very important to all of us especially if we feel threatened.

Self-preservation, hmmm... interesting word because we all know we need to survive in a physiological level-  food, clothing, shelter - these are our basic needs in order to survive. But what about discreet guys? Well, aside from the above mentioned they still have to protect something very important to them and it's their dignity, all of us do. It's what keeps us and running and also what makes us a person capable to do various tasks to fit into this society. I don't think it's a facade, it's something in between. You see, being gay doesn't necessarily mean that you have to have characteristics similar to a female and same goes with lesbians, it all boils down to personality and upbringing. Some discreet guys 'act' to be discreet and for some, it goes on naturally. So bottom line is that it's a case to case basis if we are to think that discreet guys are still hiding from their closets. Some would see it as that and some would see it as their natural self, same as some guys are vocal and out about who they are and some are out but not yet vocal about it to others.

What happened to the word intimidation? Well you see, intimidation plays a big role because if there is no intimidation then there is no self-preservation. Think about it, would a person stop working because he feels like it? No, he would need to work because that is the way of life, to work and earn to survive each and everyday. Or in a medical way of thinking, there is the presence of a painful stimulus so the body COMPENSATES to prevent the harm or at least minimize its effect/s. The same goes with guys who are discreet, they may feel intimidated so there is a need to preserve who they are. To them, it's a matter of life and death, or so. 

To conclude about this mini-topic, let me just say that discreet guys will always be discreet guys, they may be a bit scared or threatened but it will still boil down to how they are and how they perceive themselves. Acceptance is the key my brother.

Feel free to leave a comment... :)

Ever, Ever After

The trip from the hotel down to his pad is just very brief but I swear it felt like it was one of the longest journeys I had to take. My heart was pounding like hammer to a steel, my mind went from dozing off to a student cramming for finals, my nerves were agitated to say the least. The taxi came to a halt, D paid the driver and he showed me towards the elevator. Sex, I mean, sixth floor is where he's staying. As we neared his room, I felt my chest getting tighter, palms getting a bit sweaty and I was breathing abnormally fast...

"What was I thinking?"

"Why didn't I just decline?"

"How am I suppose to get out of this?"

"Will he ask for more than just hugs and kisses?"

All of these questions keep ruminating in my head; my ego, my pleasure principle telling me to just go inside while my superego, my morale advocate is telling me to run, run as fast as I can and just go home to where I belong. In the end, my ego won the fight and another good reason (or alibi if you don't believe me) is that I'm too groggy and sleepy already to even walk towards a tricycle station. He showed me to his pad, it was simple yet it has a very cozy and comfortable feeling. He held out his hand leading me towards the sofa where he gave me the deepest, most sensual kiss I've ever experienced.

Damn! Curse you soft, supple, and succulent lips! Curse you! :)

After a few moments of lip-smacking and what not I stopped and told him that I needed to take a bath then we'll hit the sack and sleep.

"Don't take a bath anymore," D pleaded.

"I always take a bath, I smell like a pig already," I replied.

"That's fine with me," he added.

"Don't be ridiculous, I feel sticky already," I snorted.

"Okay, follow me in the bed after you bathe," D told me.

"Don't worry, I will, I will." I told him and chuckled lightly.

While I was bathing, I felt very ambivalent: I was bit happy and lonely at the same time, I was feeling weird but enticed, I felt awkward but enjoyable, and I felt hesitant but magnetized. I gave myself time to reflect all in the comfort of his bathroom. After that situation, I patted myself dry and went towards where he is, lying comfortably on his bed. He gave me that melting smile again and asked, "How was it?"

"T'was alright." I gave him a faint smirk.

He kissed me and then he went to take a bath also.

Frankly, he's the first male I've met that takes such a long time in the bathroom that I actually forgot to wait for him and went ahead to snooze. When he was done, I opened one of my eyes and saw him walking towards me, we kissed again and he proceeded to put some clothes. He

joined me in bed and in as much as I want to sleep already, I just couldn't. He smothered me with kisses, enchanted me with his voice and encased me with his hug. It was fairly safe to describe my feeling that moment as euphoric. After cuddling up and getting mushy, we already decided to sleep. Thank God.

I'd find ways to meet him even though I'm running out of excuses to my mom.

I'd search means to meet him even though they're either superficial or illogical.

I'd keep my mind open for the reason that I thought we're going out but not Exclusively Dating.

I'd feel very happy everytime he texts me that he misses me.

I'd get pretty flattered everytime he texts me "mwah."

I'd wait every night for his texts just to make sure he arrives home safely.

I'd text him every now and then just to let him know that he's almost always on my mind.

This kind of set-up went for about three weeks...

Until one night in his pad, we were conversing about a movie we're watching when he suddenly opened up something unexpectable...

D: J said that we used to refrain from being affectionate if we're not dating. I forgot what he specifically said but it meant that way. Are we dating?

Feeling hesitant.

P: I don't know, I guess not.

D: Yeah, that's what I thought so too.

P: He said this when?

D: At the get-together when you weren't able to join us.

P: Oh, I see.

My mood harshly shifted from happy to depressing.

P: D, can I ask you something?

D: Go ahead.

P: Are you looking for someone right now?

D: No, I'm not. Wait, P, are you looking for someone?

P: To tell you the truth I was...

D: Isn't it too early to look, I mean, we met within the week that you broke-up with your boyfriend.

P: I know that but...

D: But what?

P: Nothing.

I smiled at him, lied on the bed and closed my eyes.

It was better if he told me that he's not looking right from the start.

It was better if he told me not to expect right after we parted ways on our fist meeting.

It was better of he didn't reciprocate my feelings and affection towards him.

It was better if he'd just shoot me on the head point blank.

Another conversation brewed.

D: Are you okay?

P: I'm fine, don't worry.

D: Something seems to be bothering you.

P: Oh, just some stuff I've been thinking lately.

D: Hey, if you wanna say or tell me something even if it's about me, I'm here.

P: Thanks, will do.

If only he knew I was thinking about him that very moment.

P: If I may ask again, why aren't you looking for someone?

D: I guess I'm still waiting for someone to come.

P: I'm here, I came, right?

D: Um...yeah,you came...

Awkward silence

P: Last question, were you thinking I was dating you or looking for friendship?

D: Friendship. I honestly thought you were looking also for friendship.

Friends don't kiss torridly not unless they're drunk or super horny. Just a thought. No offense.

D: So that's what was bothering you earlier!

P: Yeah, kinda.

D: Were you expecting something out of this?

P: Honestly, I was thinking that we were in the process of getting to know each other then maybe start something.

D: Awww...so you are expecting something.

P: Well, after all that's been said, I know where I belong now.

D: I'm sorry...

P: You don't have to be, I'm gonna be fine, I'm a big boy now!

We laughed a bit.

D: But for the record, I want to keep you as my friend, I don't have a lot of true friends.

P: I apologize but I would have to decline.

D: Oh, okay.

P: With everything that transpired between us, I'm gonna ask a simple request

D: What's that?

P: Delete me from your contacts; phone, fs, ym, everything.

D: Why?

P: It's for the best.

D: I won't do that.

P: Suit yourself but I will have to delete your number in my phone.

D: Please don't, don't delete it yet...

Silence again

P: Come on! Let's go to sleep already, you have a great new day ahead of you! It'll be a fresh new start for both of us!

D: Hehe...Alright, I'm getting sleepy also. Hey P, one last request?

P: Shoot!

D: Can I hug you for one last time?

P: Yeah...

I let him hug me for one last time.

Enough to keep me warm throughout the night.

Enough to make me feel secure for the time being that we're asleep.

Enough to let me know that this particular night, he appreciates me.

Enough to think that he likes me.

Enough to think that I could offer him more than just my warmth.

Next day we woke up early because he has a birthday party to attend to

I said my goodbye and left his pad early.

Perfect example of a Cinderella Complex.

Perfect example of a Cinderella in a man's clothing.

Perfect example of a Cinderella Story Gone Wrong.

Final part

Ever, Ever After

An Open Letter to Mr. Ever After:

I'm stubborn, I'm hard- headed, I'm sensitive, I'm emotionally unstable, I'm moody, I lack sophistication, I'm corny, I'm mushy, I'm super perky, I'm jolly, I'm giving, I'm comedic, I'm humorous, I'm superficial, I'm inconsistent, I'm opinionated, I'm a conversationalist, I'm a debater, I'm a listener, I'm pessimistic, I'm hopeful, I don't go to church, I pray, I believe in Him, I'm spontaneous, I'm random, I'm submissive, I'm persuasive, I'm cool, I'm a fashion freak, I'm shy, I'm awkward, I'm timid, I'm a late bloomer, I can be promiscuous, I'm insatiable, I'm unlucky, I'm fortunate, I'm systematic, I'm loving, I'm caring, I'm loud, I'm tearful, I'm a cry-baby, I'm a rock, I'm witty,I'm passionate, I'm enigmatic, I'm a Scorpio, I can be dumb-founded, I can be speechless, I'm dominant, I'm a cliche, I'm unique, I'm a lover, I'm an extrovert, I have very limited number of friends, I have tons of acquaintances, I'm jologs, I'm a socialite, I do speak Tagalog, I can be coño, I'm impatient, I can wait for long periods of time, I'm a tech freak, I'm just above the poverty line, I'm insecure, I'm a mom's boy, I'm a snob, I'm sociable, I'm a heart-breaker, I am heart broken, I'm a blogger, I'm a writer, I'm a nurse, I love helping people, I need help also, I'm a terrible lover, I'm a wonderful boyfriend, I'm a safe player, I'm a risk taker, I'm a binge eater, I'm a bad dieter, I'm a gym-goer, I'm not looking for gym guys, I don't hook-up, I hate rebound guys, I can be mean, I'm rude, I'm very respectful, I'm conservative, I'm restrained, I have tantrums, I'm a juvenile delinquent, I'm a good boy, I'm sarcastic, I'm realistic, I'm idealistic, I'm problematic, I'm carefree, I'm a neat freak, I'm obsessive-compulsive, I'm trying hard, I'm competitive, I was never into sports, I appreciate ballet, I don't like rock music, I love pop rock and techno and ballad and alternative, I have the slightest idea on Bruce Springsteen, I grew up with Spice Girls as role models, I can be gullible, I'm pathetic, I am very suspicious, I'm possessive, I can be very comforting, I can warm a cold heart, I can be freezing cold, I love giving hugs, I love giving kisses, I wanna be hugged, I wanna receive kisses, I don't like going to movies and watching that stuff, I love reading magazines and books among others, I love dinosaurs when I was young, I wish I was the White Ranger, I like the transformers, I can lack empathy, I can be judgmental, I can give people the benefit of the doubt, I vent out problems, I'm a shock-absorber, I'm a keen observer, I read people's gestures, I have nothing to gain from writing this, I can lose everything about this post, I'm incomplete because of you, I'm complete when I met you...

Part 3

Ever, Ever After...

The party turned into a small group discussion, 12 people and their opinions, 12 people and their perspectives, 12 people and their personal takes on life. It was changing from party mode to a subtle, more humanistic intellectual discussion which was fine with all of us.

Gayness and what not was all the rage that night, which was understandable because, heck, 11 are gay men added by a straight girl and a lesbian. :) Of all the people who gave their opinions, D was the one I saluted most, he didn't talk much nor express much thought on some topics but when he talks, there's this certain elegance and sophistication that goes with his words. SHIT! I was drawn to him... Smart and Gwapo... Dream guy na ito! But I was still hesitant thinking that it's too early to jump into something again, I mean, he would look like my rebound guy or worse, a hook-up. I don't like that, I never liked that concept in a gay guy's life. Maybe when I was younger I could do that but my conservative background plus life experiences taught me to be nice in a wholesome kind of way. Anyway, the group talked while I try to squeeze my body to him on the couch..it was a bold move but someone's gotta do it! Hahaha! The good part is that he reciprocated, he hang his arms over my shoulders while I hold his hand. It was sweet and ALL of them totally noticed (like we were hiding it in the first place).

There was this one time that I needed to go to the comfort room so I decided to temporarily leave the pack and go to the john. Seriously, I forgot to lock the comfort room and he suddenly went in without my permission and we kissed torridly! Oh yeah, I forgot to take a pee also so bummer. When we got back to the sofa area we sat by each other again as if nothing happened, about five minutes later, J, whispered in my ear: "Hey, P, your fly is open." Shoot! Tumbling talaga ako nun! It was really unintentional and he didn't do anything that's in my pants it just so happens that I already unzipped my pants when he came in and we smooched. Signs of aging, horrible, horrible signs of aging.

Second time at the comfort room, I really have to go... and funny thing is that he kinda read my mind and went ahead so there was him then me then another guy followed. After he used the john he suddenly tugged me and again, torrid kiss as if there's no tomorrow. Geez, this is making me feel uneasy but the blog must go on! After we kissed, he let me pee finally and I went out first just to make the people outside know that we're not doing anything. Lo and behold, the guy who was supposed to go next to me just sat on the bed fronting the comfort room and he was smoking, somehow he already know that we're both inside.

Last time again towards the comfort room was the time we had to leave the party, I need to go again to the john for one last time while he needs to freshen up, quick smacks and smooches and we were done. When we went out of the room we saw all of them giving us a smirk and G blurted out: "Ambilis naman!" I just bowed my head and felt a bit embarrassed. He, on the other hand just gave a faint smile to G. Finally, the party ended, we all were so tired but all of us were so happy with the outcome, new people and new experiences this is, in reality, one of the best I had so far because this is also the first time I went to a house party like this.

"It's getting rainy and I know you're tired, do you wanna stay at my pad?" D asked me when we're on the hotel entrance.
At first I have doubts because I have encountered offers like this, this is not a good thing or I'm just paranoid but I gave in and I told him a resounding "Yes."
He got a cab, went to his pad and there I was feeling queasy, uneasy and restless while he was still the calm and collected guy I knew at the party.

Part 2

Ever, Ever After...

September 29th, Tuesday evening, J and D conversing in a coffee shop in Quezon City.

J: How are you doing?
D: I'm doing great, I might be going out of the country very soon.
J: For how long?
D: It's work-related so I can't say the duration...
J: That's nice to hear. Hope you have a safe trip and pasalubong ha! I will make you go back there if you forget!

Both guys chuckled.

J: How is P doing?
D: I guess he's good, still looking for work.
J: Just a random question...
D: Sige lang, shoot...
J: You guys getting affectionate?
D: Yes.
J: How about getting intimate?
D: Yes.
J: Then are you guys dating?
D: From what I know, we're not really dating, we're more of companionship. He knows that. I think he knows that.
J: D, just to give you a heads up, don't get too much intimate, it could get ugly for both of you.
D: Thanks for the advice, I'll keep that in mind.

They went back to the crowd in the shop.

Nearly four weeks before that incident on a Monday afternoon, my bf and I broke up for more than a year of being committed, the break-up was heart-wrenching and tear-jerking but I told him it was for the best and he took it like a man. He obliged. After that incident, my mind and heart became stuporous that it was better for me to be in a deep coma rather than trying to cling to life everyday.

Saturday came, I attended to a party of a newly-found friend, it was a very awkward party and intimidating too, the reason for that is because of new people, new faces, ergo, new rapport and interaction-building. People were coming in and out of the suite so I just didn't give a damn knowing those people. What is important and my mind set that night was for me to SURVIVE without embarrassing myself. Period. But, amidst those people, gallivanting, chatting, arriving and leaving was an unfamiliar face which I must say, am initially smitten. He doesn't have that same AXE effect if ever Trishan Cuaso or Luke Jickain entered the room but I was in a weird way, similarly taken aback. He glided past the crowd and went straight to the celebrant and shook hands ten decided tp hang-out with his peers. "Looks like he's a good friend of the Birthday Boy M," I told myself while I catch a glimpse of him. I know, I know it's quite stalking but every minute I take a quick look at him, his smile is a natural knee-shaker. Knowing that he's still in the party makes me a bit happy and flirty (bad). Later on that night while me and my newly-found acquaintances were gonna satisfy our hunger through rummaging in the kitchen, he, out of the blue, introduced himself with bravado and confidence: "Hi, my name is D, and you guys are?"

"I'm A," said my soft-spoken acquaintance.
"I'm I," said my loudmouth acquaintance.
"I'm K," said my shy and timid acquaintance
"And you are?" He asked me, but, being the most poised among them I said "I'm P but I can't shake my hands with you yet cause my hands are wet." After that little encounter I suddenly said at the back of my head, way to go Romeo.

The night turned to late night to early morning, the party people dwindled until only 15 were left, I think 3 of them went to sleep. He was still there and, of course, I wouldn't leave without knowing him better...

Part 1