My Better Judgment

He looked at me with his almond shaped eyes and smiled.

We were walking along the grandiose walls of Intramuros. The historic place that had awed me from the first time I laid my eyes on one of the Spanish-styled establishments.

I shyly turned my head away from him. I felt timid just being around him.

He is 5'10" while I was just slightly higher than his chest.

He has that silky black hair that bounces slightly above his shoulder while I had that hair that looked like I have been struck by lightning.

He is lean, very lean, one that would make you ogle while I was a stocky child, binded to the world of carbohydrates and schoolwork.


He resembles Rain albeit a darker color so imagine that while I look like a very average, geeky, normal person. 

"It's finally nice seeing you." He told me while he was slightly grabbing my hand.

"Yeah." That was all that I could mutter.

We have been set-up by my sister. They were friends through Dance, Dance Revolution. Remember that game? Well anyway, yeah, we were set up by my good old sister.

As with all the cliche new generation getting-to-know phases it all started with a volley of texts and calls. He wasn't really into texts much while I was more of that. He preferred calls and that he did. But the thing is he would call at the wee hours of the morning and that meant I had to be awake by 1 am or 2 am while I wait for his call, talk for about an hour, then go back to sleep and wake up by 5 am to go to school.

You could say it was one of my feeble attempts again to build something out of thin air. Heck, sometimes you hope for better things, right? Because you know you deserve them.

I was a newbie. An amateur. A neophyte when it comes to man-to-man relationships.

I was falling.

"You know, I could just hug you right now if there weren't people around." We were still walking now along the building of Manila Bulletin. There were dimly lit street lights that made his statement more surreal yet inexplicable.

"I could do just that too." This time grinning from cheek to cheek.

In the end all I could do was lightly touch the back of his hand.

I guess that will do for now, at that time.

We went out of the Walled City and into the Post Office where people, mostly couples, occupy the benches placed across the place.

We sat down and faced each other through a damp yet memorable night.

I looked again at his almond shaped eyes and was smitten again.

He smiled at me and I smiled back.

We talked about a lot of things, of our schooling, of our friends, of us, and of former partners.

That time it didn't matter to me if we talked about them, after all, I only had one and we've been unattached since.

He told me of his exes. It wasn't an issue. Amidst our conversation he suddenly whipped out his wallet and showed me a picture of a guy.

"That was my last ex. He's half Japanese." He handed me the picture and I looked at his ex.

Good looking. Great smile. Good mix of parents.

I returned the picture to him and said my thanks.

"I guess we should call it a day. Text me when you get home." There were still classes tomorrow morning and I have to study some concepts as well.

I accompanied him to where the FXs were lined just a few walks away from the benches.

He stepped inside the FX and bade goodbye.

I waved my hand and went on my way to my boarding house.

I awaited for something - a text, a miscall, anything from him.

He vanished into thin air.

A couple of years later I saw him again, now in Malate, with his friend who connects the dots between him and my older sister.

He still looked the same.

I wanted to punch him for not being a man and just tell me that he doesn't like me and not go poof! like some sorcerer or magician. Whichever is worse.

But the opposite happened. I danced with him inside the club as if nothing happened. Yeah, that was two years ago for crying out loud.

Some experiences are better learned than regretted.

We rode the same FX home.

"Can I tell you something?" He looked straight into my round eyes with his half-slit ones.

What could it be? Is there anything he still wants to cram on my face?

I looked back into his eyes. I doubted for a second.

"Sure." I said it with a slight tinge of doubt.

He and his supposed ex-bf never really broke up.


Good looking guys really are jerks.


This is just some of what I have experienced from their types.