Reputations and Repetitions
"The gay world is getting small but you're making it smaller."
A friend told me while he was driving and it struck a chord in my guilt area.
I was caught off guard. We were just having a good laugh and suddenly he pulls a good one on me.
Did I really made it just a wee bit smaller?
I did and I didn't even think hard just to catch what he means.
One guy I kissed is included in his inner circle of friends.
Flirt.
The five letter word kept repeating over and over again
It used to affect me a lot being labeled as that but now it didn't bother me much anymore. It's a fact and I'm not denying it.
K driving towards the venue made me realize that I was not what I am now: a transformed character written, directed and played out of curiosity and life experiences from both sexes. The affectation of the self, the family, the society played an integral role which made me form another question: What affected me more? Myself or the others?
I leave that question hanging for I have no concrete answer to that yet.
We arrived at the venue about five o' clock in the afternoon and the people already piled up from the entrance to the stage. A gathering for the much-awaited books for the year. The Threesome.
K and I went in squeezing through every crevice there is towards the front, apparently K edited one of the books so he needs to be there to show support and to show that we actually attended despite coming in late.
I immediately went to the area where I saw some friends of mine and quickly mingled. And what do you know? They Knew What I Did Last Party. Hahaha! They were teasing me and insulting me. The blog world is really amazing! How one blog post can spread from one blogger to another. Forget Twitter. This is up to date news at its finest!
Tracking back from when I started opening my channel to a lot of people they always see me as this quiet, soft-spoken, shy, little guy hailing from the South. That was September of last year and it wouldn't be the same again.
From the self-description of myself to how people I got acquainted months ago. I was so wrong. I was actually in the running as one of the most flirtatious person in the group. Nyahahaha! Like what I said, who would have thought that the transformation is going to be so extreme. From prim and proper shy guy to suave and hard-core gay guy. I don't know if my market value appreciated. It doesn't matter nowadays. I'm single. That's it.
So I leave the judgment and perception to people. I leave it to people who know me well or know me not so much. I give the credit to people I interact on a daily, weekly, monthly, semi-annual and annual basis. I surrender my image to those who can or can't, will or won't understand me.
After all, we all have reputations to create and destroy. ;)
A friend told me while he was driving and it struck a chord in my guilt area.
I was caught off guard. We were just having a good laugh and suddenly he pulls a good one on me.
Did I really made it just a wee bit smaller?
I did and I didn't even think hard just to catch what he means.
One guy I kissed is included in his inner circle of friends.
Flirt.
The five letter word kept repeating over and over again
It used to affect me a lot being labeled as that but now it didn't bother me much anymore. It's a fact and I'm not denying it.
K driving towards the venue made me realize that I was not what I am now: a transformed character written, directed and played out of curiosity and life experiences from both sexes. The affectation of the self, the family, the society played an integral role which made me form another question: What affected me more? Myself or the others?
I leave that question hanging for I have no concrete answer to that yet.
We arrived at the venue about five o' clock in the afternoon and the people already piled up from the entrance to the stage. A gathering for the much-awaited books for the year. The Threesome.
K and I went in squeezing through every crevice there is towards the front, apparently K edited one of the books so he needs to be there to show support and to show that we actually attended despite coming in late.
I immediately went to the area where I saw some friends of mine and quickly mingled. And what do you know? They Knew What I Did Last Party. Hahaha! They were teasing me and insulting me. The blog world is really amazing! How one blog post can spread from one blogger to another. Forget Twitter. This is up to date news at its finest!
Tracking back from when I started opening my channel to a lot of people they always see me as this quiet, soft-spoken, shy, little guy hailing from the South. That was September of last year and it wouldn't be the same again.
From the self-description of myself to how people I got acquainted months ago. I was so wrong. I was actually in the running as one of the most flirtatious person in the group. Nyahahaha! Like what I said, who would have thought that the transformation is going to be so extreme. From prim and proper shy guy to suave and hard-core gay guy. I don't know if my market value appreciated. It doesn't matter nowadays. I'm single. That's it.
So I leave the judgment and perception to people. I leave it to people who know me well or know me not so much. I give the credit to people I interact on a daily, weekly, monthly, semi-annual and annual basis. I surrender my image to those who can or can't, will or won't understand me.
After all, we all have reputations to create and destroy. ;)
hayaan mo na po, ang reputasyon naman kasi ay binubuo ng mga taong tumitingin sa atin batay sa kanilang biases
ReplyDeletekaya no moatter how good we are, people will still judge us using their own perceptions
kaya nahuhusgahan man ako ng ilan, partikular ng ilang bloiggers, deadma na..hindi naman nila kilala ako ng personal eh
:)
i just remembered a grown-up advice, "just be yourself" :)
ReplyDeletewe should really be careful if we are a bit conscious of our reputation because every move that we make, every word that we say would be scrutinized. then again a lot of people would always say something negative because it is their nature. it is up to us to consider whose voice are we going to listen to. =)
ReplyDeleteisn't that the fun of it. we can create and destroy, create and destroy, create and destroy. i don't see anything wrong with that at all.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry too much, in the world of seduction, it is us who define our borders.
ReplyDeleteNobody can impose it.
WV: Kisssesss
Hahaha!
they'll forget about it in no time. ikaw lang apple of their eyes ngayon. don't worry too much.
ReplyDeleteyes you are a suave guy. nice and stylish pa. :)
yup, who cares about what people say, as long as ur happy, and not hurting other people,wala kng tinatapakan, go lang ng go ehehe :)
ReplyDeletebut do you like what you have become? if it's a yes then chika na.
ReplyDelete*anteros' dominion - absolutely. Even if, let's say you're the best guy there is, people will still have their own judgment on you.
ReplyDelete*Leo - a grown-up advice indeed. One that needs to be fully understood.
*paci - and the voices shall bestow judgment.
*daredevilry - I don't too! High five!
*Mu[g]en - this isn't just seduction, dude. It's everything, every aspect we have nourished or perhaps, others nourished for us.
*Nimmy - I like it! Apple of their eyes. That's so girly.
(girly giggle) Hihihi.
*Soltero - just like in sex, right? Go, oh yeah, go, go, go, ahhhhhhh...
*orallyours - it's a mixed bag: a love-hate relationship with myself.
hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteyou are what you are...keber na lang sa society na feeling perfect..hmpf!
fuck market value. pag prinesyohan (from the root word "presyo") mo sarili mo, nagiging resource ka. consummable. at pwedeng i-scrap pag naubos.
ReplyDeleteyour reputation does not define you. take it from someone who's been judged many times. ;)
ReplyDeleteLeo was right, Guyrony. ;)
ReplyDeleteand, might i add, our reputation, whether its there for us to create and then destroy, always, always precedes us...di ba???
ReplyDeleteHere's an inside tip, little G. The faster you rise, the harder you fall.
ReplyDeleteHope you brought a parachute.
XOXO,
K
*Desole Boy - haha! Amen to that!
ReplyDelete*Ex Jason - don't get mad. :) I do agree with you however, the gay society view it as an important part of how we'll find the perfect match.
*john stanley - how did you cope up with it?
*Ronnie - yes and yes. Hehe.
*Lasherations - it always does dude, it always does.
*Kane - And the harder you fall, the more difficult to get up which, is not acceptable. Next time you see me, I'll be a good boy, wait, a better boy. I promise. ;)
Play your cards right and always keep in mind the golden rule: Smile like a pop star and fuck like a rock star (c/o V).
ReplyDeleteThe more they talk, the more they want some more. Do I smell competition? K, what the fuck are you cooking up?
The chronicles of E commented. OMG! Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteWhat's cooking?
Just you wait...
(evil laugh)