"That's not an allergy." The dermatologist told me while he was inspecting my arms with his pen light.
"What do you mean?" I asked him in a tone of denial.
"That's an infection." He gave it to me straight without hesitations.
"When was the first time you encountered these?" While pointing to my arms ridden with red, water-filled, skin-irritated patches.
"September or October last year." I told him while also showing traces of scabs left by the last allergy attack, or so I thought.
"What medications are you taking now?" He asked me while still looking at those unsightly red patches.
"I'm taking Cefalexin 500 mg. three times a day and Cetirizine 10mg. once a day. Cefalexin because I also have a tooth infection right now. See, my right cheek is swollen." I looked at him in the eye confident of the medications I was taking and pointing to my cheek how bloated it looks. I looked like a chubby guy albeit on one side only.
"What's your work?" He asked me without batting an eyelash.
"I'm a nurse."
He looked at me again and smiled, with a hint of sarcasm.
"Doctor, take a look at this." He called the female dermatologist on the other cubicle of the small room alloted for dermatologists on duty on that day.
The female doctor went immediately and looked at my arms and on my right foot which looked like dormant volcanoes that erupted simultaneously. Ugh.
"He also has a tooth infection and is now taking Cefa, three times a day." The dermatologist continued.
She looked at me again, searching, scanning my face - hands and foot.
I turned worried.
"Start Clindamycin capsules every six hours for seven days plus Mupirocin cream twice a day and Cetirizine once daily." She told the dermatologist who initially checked on my condition.
"What is this?" I asked both of them while the male dermatologist started prescribing medications on his Rx sheet.
"Furunculosis." And he wrote down medications I needed to purchase while I waited for his instructions and finally thanked him for his time.
I boarded a jeep, bought the needed medications and went home. Everything will be better.
Or that's what I was claiming to think...
Part 1
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Blogger's Life
In some way or the other, one have not foreseen the implications of blogging.
It is easy from the start: making an account, signing-up and designing templates, banners and logos.
It doesn't even require a brain of a rocket scientist to open one up. Yet there seems to be something interesting in this world far but inter-connected with the real world.
When you open up a blog, what do you have in mind? It can conjure a cornucopia of ideas - secrets, experiences, passion, fictional stories - the works.
True, similarities aside, even from the way we narrate or tell even if it's just one line, one blogger is different from the other. Tastes vary as do favorite readings.
What makes you be drawn into this realm?
Is it your stories to share or the people who share their stories?
Ah, but that is where depth of involvement arrives. The more entries people read from your blog, the more people get interested in your blog, the more they want something from you. Expectations.
From the first person who reads and comments an entry to successive ones who leap back and forth to your URL hoping to read another one of your life anecdotes, isn't that great?
But the pressure rises up. You know that, I know that, most of us know that. There's no denying that once you've put up one and people starts reading and inputs a comment, you know you're in for a ride.
And most of the time you pressure yourself into making an entry just so you could post something, to let your readers know that you have something in store for them, that you're blog is still existing and so do you. But we all know half-baked entries are like medium rare grilled beef. It's a half-love, half-hate scenario.
Beginning the blog is the best feeling one can experience because you have so many stories to share. But sooner or later, you realize that your life can't keep up with your blog, or in some cases, a matter of vice-versa. After all, everyday maybe a different day from the last but it doesn't mean you have to blog about it.
Remember: you have yourself to expect something from an entry and your readers expect something that might pique their interest to read from your entry too.
While most of us get our heads out of the water by posting superficial ones and letting it stay on others' blog roll for some time...others just plainly offer a temporary truce of the word we have come to love - even in our personal world - a hiatus.
From blogging experiences, we have disembarked and departed over and over and over again.
And you know some blog posts worth reading are those that border taboo. Posts as such have been ridiculed, mocked, scorned and lamented. People saying that there's too much to tell, too much information and too much to take.
But who are we anyway, the readers of the blogger?
Isn't it that we got interested in the blogger because of what one posts?
Isn't it that we got interested in the blogger because of what one has to say?
Isn't it that we got interested in the blogger because of what one has to tell us?
Yet we throw rocks of furious words.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
How queer and baffling, isn't it?
Freedom and discretion. One has to learn to have both in order for the blog to survive. One without the other would mean an exile, a banishment, or worse, an un-following.
So in the end, a blogger's life isn't so simple, easy and breezy after all.
The courage to post and the intimidation of what not to post are of essence.
But let me tell you a secret - the moment you evoke an emotion from your post - you're worthy to go on as a blogger.
It is easy from the start: making an account, signing-up and designing templates, banners and logos.
It doesn't even require a brain of a rocket scientist to open one up. Yet there seems to be something interesting in this world far but inter-connected with the real world.
When you open up a blog, what do you have in mind? It can conjure a cornucopia of ideas - secrets, experiences, passion, fictional stories - the works.
True, similarities aside, even from the way we narrate or tell even if it's just one line, one blogger is different from the other. Tastes vary as do favorite readings.
What makes you be drawn into this realm?
Is it your stories to share or the people who share their stories?
Ah, but that is where depth of involvement arrives. The more entries people read from your blog, the more people get interested in your blog, the more they want something from you. Expectations.
From the first person who reads and comments an entry to successive ones who leap back and forth to your URL hoping to read another one of your life anecdotes, isn't that great?
But the pressure rises up. You know that, I know that, most of us know that. There's no denying that once you've put up one and people starts reading and inputs a comment, you know you're in for a ride.
And most of the time you pressure yourself into making an entry just so you could post something, to let your readers know that you have something in store for them, that you're blog is still existing and so do you. But we all know half-baked entries are like medium rare grilled beef. It's a half-love, half-hate scenario.
Beginning the blog is the best feeling one can experience because you have so many stories to share. But sooner or later, you realize that your life can't keep up with your blog, or in some cases, a matter of vice-versa. After all, everyday maybe a different day from the last but it doesn't mean you have to blog about it.
Remember: you have yourself to expect something from an entry and your readers expect something that might pique their interest to read from your entry too.
While most of us get our heads out of the water by posting superficial ones and letting it stay on others' blog roll for some time...others just plainly offer a temporary truce of the word we have come to love - even in our personal world - a hiatus.
From blogging experiences, we have disembarked and departed over and over and over again.
And you know some blog posts worth reading are those that border taboo. Posts as such have been ridiculed, mocked, scorned and lamented. People saying that there's too much to tell, too much information and too much to take.
But who are we anyway, the readers of the blogger?
Isn't it that we got interested in the blogger because of what one posts?
Isn't it that we got interested in the blogger because of what one has to say?
Isn't it that we got interested in the blogger because of what one has to tell us?
Yet we throw rocks of furious words.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
How queer and baffling, isn't it?
Freedom and discretion. One has to learn to have both in order for the blog to survive. One without the other would mean an exile, a banishment, or worse, an un-following.
So in the end, a blogger's life isn't so simple, easy and breezy after all.
The courage to post and the intimidation of what not to post are of essence.
But let me tell you a secret - the moment you evoke an emotion from your post - you're worthy to go on as a blogger.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Playlist: Emo Sh**
I love music. I think it's one of the things that keep me distracted from over-thinking and over-analyzing things and situations.
Anyway, as much as I love Pop, House and Techno, I also love emo songs - a music genre which makes the heart bleed to death, if it were afflicted by a disease er, or sorta like that.
So here's my Top Five Songs I listen when I want to feel um, different.
5. Cry Me A River - a not so recent song from Justin Timberlake. Very controversial too, people claiming that it was for Britney Spears. Hehe. I thought of What Goes Around Comes Around but this song is just much, much better. Ah, the song just emanates 'I'm a bastard now you bee-atch! I gave you everything but what did you do? Huh?' Nice. I just love how bitter it turned out. Hahaha!
4. Grenade - song by famous Singer-songwriter Bruno Mars. It's the latest song that's hitting the airwaves nowadays. It tells about sacrificing oneself for the significant other but after all the sacrifice and the giving, the other half just feels nothing, or maybe neutral. But come on, baby I'll catch a grenade for you? WTF! Martyr much?! GomBurZa reincarnated isdatchu?
3. White Horse - blame it on Taylor Swift for bringing this music to life. The deception, the lies, ah, such is the world of love. But don't take it from me, after all, I barely know how to keep a relationship growing.
"But it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now..."
2. Broken-hearted Girl - I forgot when I first heard the song but I know it moved me...it's all about trying a person'a best to move on but cannot. Sure it's dysfunctional but hey, who are we to judge how deep what they had? One of the most number of times I have listened in my Ipod. I know, because I can relate!!!
Wahahahahaha!
1. Who Knew - Pink? Who would have thought that she actually produces songs like these when most of her songs are so down-right funny and hilarious to a slapstick comedy level but she did, and boy she got me on this one. The song asks - Why'd you leave me all of a sudden?
The clincher of this song is the bridge. It's a tear-jerking moment from there. Cool eh?
I don't listen to these songs often but when I do, expect me to be really quiet, eyes closed, and mind in wander. I don't mind. They are nice songs and besides, we all have our set of emo songs in our music players, right?
I dare anyone who doesn't!
Sometimes it just feels good to cry even if you don't want to. That's the beauty of these songs. They make you emote. Duh...
Sheeeeesh who am I kidding!
These songs are perfect for a suicidal, broken-hearted fool who gave everything but got nothing! Indulge!
Anyway, as much as I love Pop, House and Techno, I also love emo songs - a music genre which makes the heart bleed to death, if it were afflicted by a disease er, or sorta like that.
So here's my Top Five Songs I listen when I want to feel um, different.
5. Cry Me A River - a not so recent song from Justin Timberlake. Very controversial too, people claiming that it was for Britney Spears. Hehe. I thought of What Goes Around Comes Around but this song is just much, much better. Ah, the song just emanates 'I'm a bastard now you bee-atch! I gave you everything but what did you do? Huh?' Nice. I just love how bitter it turned out. Hahaha!
4. Grenade - song by famous Singer-songwriter Bruno Mars. It's the latest song that's hitting the airwaves nowadays. It tells about sacrificing oneself for the significant other but after all the sacrifice and the giving, the other half just feels nothing, or maybe neutral. But come on, baby I'll catch a grenade for you? WTF! Martyr much?! GomBurZa reincarnated isdatchu?
3. White Horse - blame it on Taylor Swift for bringing this music to life. The deception, the lies, ah, such is the world of love. But don't take it from me, after all, I barely know how to keep a relationship growing.
"But it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now..."
2. Broken-hearted Girl - I forgot when I first heard the song but I know it moved me...it's all about trying a person'a best to move on but cannot. Sure it's dysfunctional but hey, who are we to judge how deep what they had? One of the most number of times I have listened in my Ipod. I know, because I can relate!!!
Wahahahahaha!
1. Who Knew - Pink? Who would have thought that she actually produces songs like these when most of her songs are so down-right funny and hilarious to a slapstick comedy level but she did, and boy she got me on this one. The song asks - Why'd you leave me all of a sudden?
The clincher of this song is the bridge. It's a tear-jerking moment from there. Cool eh?
I don't listen to these songs often but when I do, expect me to be really quiet, eyes closed, and mind in wander. I don't mind. They are nice songs and besides, we all have our set of emo songs in our music players, right?
I dare anyone who doesn't!
Sometimes it just feels good to cry even if you don't want to. That's the beauty of these songs. They make you emote. Duh...
Sheeeeesh who am I kidding!
These songs are perfect for a suicidal, broken-hearted fool who gave everything but got nothing! Indulge!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Hijo
"Papa." The boy tugged the blanket of his father leaving him vulnerable to the coldness of the air-con.
Drake looked at him with half-closed eyes and enveloped himself under the comfort of his blanket again.
"Papa." The boy persisted and shrugged his father on his legs. "Papa, Papa." The shrug went stronger. The boy was persistent.
Uncovering himself and letting his body be exposed from the coldness of the room again he glanced at the boy, now with puppy dog eyes and asked: "Why, Nathan?"
"You promised."
From half-closed eyes it grew to the bigger, rounder ones Drake really had. "What did I promise you?"
It hit him like a lightning to a metal object! It was the first day of school!
"Oh yeah!!!" The father jumped out of his bed.
"Take a bath while I prepare breakfast." He hurriedly scooted the child towards their bathroom, took off the clothes and went to the kitchen to look for something to satiate their morning hunger.
He placed distilled water into their thermos then opened the cupboards for something instant, a quick meal getaway, but there was only a box of cereals and an oatmeal.
No, he scrapped the idea. This is his son's first foray into education. Life is good. He opened the fridge for a more suitable breakfast option: eggs, a half serving of spam, whole wheat bagels still unopened, butter, cheese since New Year, tomatoes, onions, scallions. What could he do with the available ingredients?
Ding! It was the first thing that came into his mind. Without further ado he placed a pan over the stove, lighted it up, turned it to medium heat, he cracked two eggs, placed them in a bowl, blitzed them, got a medium-sized tomato an a medium-sized onion and cut them into pieces, he also got two cloves of garlic and minced them nicely. He lowered the heat of the pan, tossed the minced garlic and waited for them to turn a little brown. The wafting smell made him more excited! After a few more seconds he tossed the sliced onion then the tomato and let them caramelize and blend with each other harmoniously, he placed the sauteed ingredients aside and poured the eggs on the hot pan, waited until it solidified and tossed back the sauteed ingredients. After a few seconds of waiting he plated it and went to get the whole wheat bagels. He always has problems with the microwave, he just couldn't understand how it works. One time he tried heating pork rolls, the moment it was done, the wrappers were hard as stones and the inside were cooked to a non-enticing crisp. The other time he tried heating a sandwich of cheese but with crackers instead of bread. The result was far less enjoyable - soft crackers with crispy albeit melted cheese - which he nevertheless ate without much gusto nor appetite. This time he placed three bagels into the microwave, closed the wretched appliance, prayed and timed it for a minute. Faith would do the rest.
Thug, thug, thug. The child's untied shoes were heard across the kitchen area. Drake turned his back and saw what he needs to do. Obviously, the child needed assistance for his school uniform.
What would a father do?
He washed his hands, wiped the excess water on his shorts and looked what needs to be done. Unbuttoned polo shirt, bacon-like sagging socks and untied shoes. Not to mention disheveled hair and snot from the left side of the nose with a touch of booger. Nice.
So, this is the real side of fatherhood? Drake's time had just commenced.
Part 1
Drake looked at him with half-closed eyes and enveloped himself under the comfort of his blanket again.
"Papa." The boy persisted and shrugged his father on his legs. "Papa, Papa." The shrug went stronger. The boy was persistent.
Uncovering himself and letting his body be exposed from the coldness of the room again he glanced at the boy, now with puppy dog eyes and asked: "Why, Nathan?"
"You promised."
From half-closed eyes it grew to the bigger, rounder ones Drake really had. "What did I promise you?"
It hit him like a lightning to a metal object! It was the first day of school!
"Oh yeah!!!" The father jumped out of his bed.
"Take a bath while I prepare breakfast." He hurriedly scooted the child towards their bathroom, took off the clothes and went to the kitchen to look for something to satiate their morning hunger.
He placed distilled water into their thermos then opened the cupboards for something instant, a quick meal getaway, but there was only a box of cereals and an oatmeal.
No, he scrapped the idea. This is his son's first foray into education. Life is good. He opened the fridge for a more suitable breakfast option: eggs, a half serving of spam, whole wheat bagels still unopened, butter, cheese since New Year, tomatoes, onions, scallions. What could he do with the available ingredients?
Ding! It was the first thing that came into his mind. Without further ado he placed a pan over the stove, lighted it up, turned it to medium heat, he cracked two eggs, placed them in a bowl, blitzed them, got a medium-sized tomato an a medium-sized onion and cut them into pieces, he also got two cloves of garlic and minced them nicely. He lowered the heat of the pan, tossed the minced garlic and waited for them to turn a little brown. The wafting smell made him more excited! After a few more seconds he tossed the sliced onion then the tomato and let them caramelize and blend with each other harmoniously, he placed the sauteed ingredients aside and poured the eggs on the hot pan, waited until it solidified and tossed back the sauteed ingredients. After a few seconds of waiting he plated it and went to get the whole wheat bagels. He always has problems with the microwave, he just couldn't understand how it works. One time he tried heating pork rolls, the moment it was done, the wrappers were hard as stones and the inside were cooked to a non-enticing crisp. The other time he tried heating a sandwich of cheese but with crackers instead of bread. The result was far less enjoyable - soft crackers with crispy albeit melted cheese - which he nevertheless ate without much gusto nor appetite. This time he placed three bagels into the microwave, closed the wretched appliance, prayed and timed it for a minute. Faith would do the rest.
Thug, thug, thug. The child's untied shoes were heard across the kitchen area. Drake turned his back and saw what he needs to do. Obviously, the child needed assistance for his school uniform.
What would a father do?
He washed his hands, wiped the excess water on his shorts and looked what needs to be done. Unbuttoned polo shirt, bacon-like sagging socks and untied shoes. Not to mention disheveled hair and snot from the left side of the nose with a touch of booger. Nice.
So, this is the real side of fatherhood? Drake's time had just commenced.
Part 1
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Smeared
Monday morning started out pretty much the same.
At past 7 am I got up even though I was still dizzy from the anti-histamine I drank last night.
Folded my blanket, fluffed my pillows and straightened the bed sheet of my sofa bed.
I went down while greeting my Grandma and her sister "Good morning."
Opened the refrigerator and scanned from top to bottom looking for something to munch onto.
I also opened the computer to check for job listings or e-mails from companies/institutions.
Wandered back to the fridge to re-check if it contains the food I was craving for.
Went back to the PC to turn it on because it's-darn-so-prehistoric-that-it's-lagging-in-terms-of-speed-and-power.
Got a mug from the dish rack and started placing a tablespoon of coffee, two tablespoons of Milo and a tablespoon of sugar. Grabbed the thermos, poured hot water into the mug. Stirred the concoction. Smelled. Tasted it. Perfection.
Went back again to the PC and loaded this blog page, Facebook and Yahoomail. And a porn site. Good grief.
Placing the mug beside me while I waited for the pages to upload, I was thinking of my itineraries for the day: check e-mail, haircut, buy medicines, go to DFA, gym, sleep. It's gonna be a long day. I thought to myself.
The pages loaded excruciatingly slow but I had to deal with it, after all, I have grown accustomed to our ancient processor and its laborious page rendering.
I got up, went to the kitchen and interacted with the people. Most of them were already done with breakfast and I was still figuring out what to eat.
Clicked on my blog, checked for new commenters, checked for new posts from others, clicked FB, checked for new messages or status updates I could reply with humor, wit or plain stupidity, inputted my user name and password at Yahoomail and checked for new messages (also hoping my bestfriend in the US would e-mail me soon as I haven't heard from her since pre-Christmas time), none. Clicked some alerts from Jobstreet, scanning, scanning, scanning, yeah, BPO after BPO. Deleted the messages. Clicked on the porn site - loading. Clicked two tabs for GSMarena.com and Phonearena.com, checked new reviews from mobile phones, none. Went back to my blog and started what to post today because today seems fulfilling. Well, none yet.
By 9am I observed the perimeter if it's safe.
Past 9 am I turned the PC off and got up and headed to the restroom then the bathroom. I looked at the mirror, looked at myself and saw how messy, groggy, unkempt and disgusting I had been because of my current state. No, it's not self-pity, it's the reality. Currently.
Brushed my teeth, attached my retainers (to be left for 8 hours), went to the bathroom, twisted clockwise the shower knob, showered, twisted counter-clockwise the shower knob, got some shampoo from its container, lathered, scrubbed my hair, got some facial wash, lathered, applied on my face, got the soap the dermatologist prescribed, lathered, applied all over my body, twisted clockwise the shower knob again, scrubbed my body from dirt and grime and impurities, twisted counter-clockwise the shower knob, got my towel, patted myself dry, placed the towel around my body, went upstairs and put on clothes.
When I wore my eyeglasses again, I found something obstructing a small area of my vision of my left eye. I ignored that because I had more important things to do like get a freaking haircut and buy my anti-bacterial cream.
I walked towards the entrance of our subdivision/hi-way/public vehicle stop-over, hailed a jeep, sat on the right side, waited for my destination, got off the jeep and went inside the salon.
I told the receptionist I'll be having a haircut, he told me to wait, I nodded and sat on one of the chairs on the waiting area opposite the reception area. While waiting, I noticed again the obstruction on the left part of my eyeglasses.
It was really irritating me.
"What could it be?" I asked myself and took off my eyeglasses.
Water? No, it's not water.
A scratch? Oh please no, I just bought this.
Oh sh**! I gasped with horror at the obstruction again.
It was cum in all its dried glory.
At past 7 am I got up even though I was still dizzy from the anti-histamine I drank last night.
Folded my blanket, fluffed my pillows and straightened the bed sheet of my sofa bed.
I went down while greeting my Grandma and her sister "Good morning."
Opened the refrigerator and scanned from top to bottom looking for something to munch onto.
I also opened the computer to check for job listings or e-mails from companies/institutions.
Wandered back to the fridge to re-check if it contains the food I was craving for.
Went back to the PC to turn it on because it's-darn-so-prehistoric-that-it's-lagging-in-terms-of-speed-and-power.
Got a mug from the dish rack and started placing a tablespoon of coffee, two tablespoons of Milo and a tablespoon of sugar. Grabbed the thermos, poured hot water into the mug. Stirred the concoction. Smelled. Tasted it. Perfection.
Went back again to the PC and loaded this blog page, Facebook and Yahoomail. And a porn site. Good grief.
Placing the mug beside me while I waited for the pages to upload, I was thinking of my itineraries for the day: check e-mail, haircut, buy medicines, go to DFA, gym, sleep. It's gonna be a long day. I thought to myself.
The pages loaded excruciatingly slow but I had to deal with it, after all, I have grown accustomed to our ancient processor and its laborious page rendering.
I got up, went to the kitchen and interacted with the people. Most of them were already done with breakfast and I was still figuring out what to eat.
Clicked on my blog, checked for new commenters, checked for new posts from others, clicked FB, checked for new messages or status updates I could reply with humor, wit or plain stupidity, inputted my user name and password at Yahoomail and checked for new messages (also hoping my bestfriend in the US would e-mail me soon as I haven't heard from her since pre-Christmas time), none. Clicked some alerts from Jobstreet, scanning, scanning, scanning, yeah, BPO after BPO. Deleted the messages. Clicked on the porn site - loading. Clicked two tabs for GSMarena.com and Phonearena.com, checked new reviews from mobile phones, none. Went back to my blog and started what to post today because today seems fulfilling. Well, none yet.
By 9am I observed the perimeter if it's safe.
Past 9 am I turned the PC off and got up and headed to the restroom then the bathroom. I looked at the mirror, looked at myself and saw how messy, groggy, unkempt and disgusting I had been because of my current state. No, it's not self-pity, it's the reality. Currently.
Brushed my teeth, attached my retainers (to be left for 8 hours), went to the bathroom, twisted clockwise the shower knob, showered, twisted counter-clockwise the shower knob, got some shampoo from its container, lathered, scrubbed my hair, got some facial wash, lathered, applied on my face, got the soap the dermatologist prescribed, lathered, applied all over my body, twisted clockwise the shower knob again, scrubbed my body from dirt and grime and impurities, twisted counter-clockwise the shower knob, got my towel, patted myself dry, placed the towel around my body, went upstairs and put on clothes.
When I wore my eyeglasses again, I found something obstructing a small area of my vision of my left eye. I ignored that because I had more important things to do like get a freaking haircut and buy my anti-bacterial cream.
I walked towards the entrance of our subdivision/hi-way/public vehicle stop-over, hailed a jeep, sat on the right side, waited for my destination, got off the jeep and went inside the salon.
I told the receptionist I'll be having a haircut, he told me to wait, I nodded and sat on one of the chairs on the waiting area opposite the reception area. While waiting, I noticed again the obstruction on the left part of my eyeglasses.
It was really irritating me.
"What could it be?" I asked myself and took off my eyeglasses.
Water? No, it's not water.
A scratch? Oh please no, I just bought this.
Oh sh**! I gasped with horror at the obstruction again.
It was cum in all its dried glory.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Post Coitus Possessiveness
What makes people prone to feel possessive after s**?
Is it the libido?
Or is it the emotion?
Or is it both?
For quite sometime, I have been asking myself this question.
How about you?
Have you ever felt such?
That when you had done it, you just felt that he belonged to you? And you belonged to him?
Funny right? And quite selfish too.
When mypromiscuity curiosity started and had an encounter for the first time - I thought I had him! I thought that it would prosper into something. Being a naive, gullible and ignorant teen that I was, I fell and boy did I fell hard...on the floor.
With successive encounters I realized how foolish it must have been for me to assume lust and love were the same. They were totally not of the same league. And not completely opposite either.
With later encounters, I have tried and accomplished to play it cool, sometimes up to the extent of completely dissing the idea that I did a hook-up with that person. It's not a skill nor does everyone have to live with the idea that s** is just s** because admit it or not, some people still see it as something sacred.
As for me, it still is, but with the one I love, not with the one I lust.
Is it the libido?
Or is it the emotion?
Or is it both?
For quite sometime, I have been asking myself this question.
How about you?
Have you ever felt such?
That when you had done it, you just felt that he belonged to you? And you belonged to him?
Funny right? And quite selfish too.
When my
With successive encounters I realized how foolish it must have been for me to assume lust and love were the same. They were totally not of the same league. And not completely opposite either.
With later encounters, I have tried and accomplished to play it cool, sometimes up to the extent of completely dissing the idea that I did a hook-up with that person. It's not a skill nor does everyone have to live with the idea that s** is just s** because admit it or not, some people still see it as something sacred.
As for me, it still is, but with the one I love, not with the one I lust.
Of Discovery, Discovering and Discover
Nine guys walking along the wee hours of the morning heading towards McDonald's Shaw for breakfast.
Nine guys who some, have just met at the party earlier.
Nine guys having the time of their lives while the world sleeps.
Nine guys in a discreet and totally unexpected Mini Pride March of their own.
It was pretty awesome!
To discover the simplest things in life is a goal of mine. Sometimes, people may not realize the small things, the less ones coming in their way, in return, they forget how it is to live life.
To smile with just a hint of blessing.
Walking with them made me see how it was just fun to talk and interact with them, even for the common cause of eating in a fastfood chain which I totally abhor but yes, I joined them to learn something from them; deep or superficial, with sense or with little sense, fact or fiction. Camaraderie and what has come out of it is what matters.
As the newly found acquaintances finally flops down one by one on their respective tables, we thought it was finally time to call it a day and rest in our respective homes.
As the sun finally makes its early call for those who slept during the night, the opposite would be done by us.
And as the momentary bonding makes its way into everyone's memory, the shared laughter, humor and bad pick-up lines will be remembered.
Final Part
P.S. Credit and a whole lot of thanks goes to E. Houghton for my new banner.
Nine guys who some, have just met at the party earlier.
Nine guys having the time of their lives while the world sleeps.
Nine guys in a discreet and totally unexpected Mini Pride March of their own.
It was pretty awesome!
To discover the simplest things in life is a goal of mine. Sometimes, people may not realize the small things, the less ones coming in their way, in return, they forget how it is to live life.
To smile with just a hint of blessing.
Walking with them made me see how it was just fun to talk and interact with them, even for the common cause of eating in a fastfood chain which I totally abhor but yes, I joined them to learn something from them; deep or superficial, with sense or with little sense, fact or fiction. Camaraderie and what has come out of it is what matters.
As the newly found acquaintances finally flops down one by one on their respective tables, we thought it was finally time to call it a day and rest in our respective homes.
As the sun finally makes its early call for those who slept during the night, the opposite would be done by us.
And as the momentary bonding makes its way into everyone's memory, the shared laughter, humor and bad pick-up lines will be remembered.
Final Part
P.S. Credit and a whole lot of thanks goes to E. Houghton for my new banner.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Of Discovery, Discovering and Discover
Ding!
The elevator door opened and out I proceeded with much haste. Room ***. Hmmm...the directions told me to go left, so I walked and after a while I looked at the room number and heard people making such ruckus. It was music to my ears and I was finally ready for the party. For real!
Discovering the first house party that I went to, it was instantaneous that I got hooked from it, if ever it were drugs then call me an addict.
Okay, so that was a complete exaggeration but I'm not kidding when I say that I love to go to house parties, better than clubbing.
I knocked three times on the door and waited for a few seconds. No one answered. I knocked for the second time and still no one answered. I knocked furiously for the third time and finally, the door was unlocked and I glided by waving to people I know, I barely know, or, I don't know at all. It's rapport-building 101 where you meet and greet people and then you choose who you want to mingle. As for me and my experiences, I prefer to roam around. I do enjoy talking to people and besides, I've already met several of them a few days ago. It's not as if I need to be updated on their life. After all, everyone has some personal information no one needs to hear - or to put it in a better term, save it to themselves.
New guys always makes me giddy and excited more so if I get to interact with them. Heck, I'm no brainiac nor do I want to bore them with geeky, nerdy and politically-inclined topics but it's nice to know people who might share the same wave length. And no, I don't tell them that I'm a blogger and if they ask, I tell them I'm not. I'm that secretive or maybe I'm just in denial. Hahahaha!
Oooh, the spread was fantastic! From the Banapple Bannoffee Pie (which I instantly noticed) to Pancit Lucban (which I love, love, love) to roasted chicken to Amber's pichi-pichi, it was a dieter's worst enemy but a binge-eater's best friend. The interaction with people was nice but I need nourishment so I ate. And man did I eat a lot.
But everyone who went there knows that the juiciest part was something inedible but tasty. ;)
At about 3am, someone knocked. We all thought it was another guest but apparently it was a bunch of hotel staff. They talked to one of the event-in-charge while we silently looked at them from outside the door.
"They're searching for gay guys and found you to be too overtly gay." I jokingly told my friend who was sitting next to me. We laughed but that moment was a serious matter for it involved a head count which may require us to shell out cash.
When the hotel staff finished the head count, they excused themselves and went down as if nothing happened, we all went back to our former partying mode but tried to lower our voices for some other checked-in guests might file a complaint, nevertheless, the party mode was back on. After several minutes, when I thought J and Dee were already on their way home, J came back and told us about the real situation: apparently, there were 53 of us left and they have this 1 am policy in which people inside the room numbering in more than six would be charged 1,800 pesos per head amounting to 97,000 pesos (so, two heads per person? Okay, that was a lame joke). I was shocked and some of us had the same reaction. Good thing J told the management that had we known that that's going to happen then we would definitely be hiking out way before 1 am. The hotel staff consulted their supervisor and gave us an hour to evacuate the whole premise. As promised, the moment J told us that, we were on our way towards the hotel's exit to plan where to eat breakfast.
"Now where shall we go?" I asked most of them while they're still realizing the situation earlier. We had poker faces at the wee hours of the morning. Imagine a group of gay guys hanging outside near El Paseo asking themselves what just happened and where to get some grub. It was hilarious in a politically incorrect term, not to mention situation.
Even though we were evicted because of the policy, it was still a great party and I truly enjoyed it with friends.
Something great, something interesting, something funny and something irksome to start the year 2011.
Part 2
The elevator door opened and out I proceeded with much haste. Room ***. Hmmm...the directions told me to go left, so I walked and after a while I looked at the room number and heard people making such ruckus. It was music to my ears and I was finally ready for the party. For real!
Discovering the first house party that I went to, it was instantaneous that I got hooked from it, if ever it were drugs then call me an addict.
Okay, so that was a complete exaggeration but I'm not kidding when I say that I love to go to house parties, better than clubbing.
I knocked three times on the door and waited for a few seconds. No one answered. I knocked for the second time and still no one answered. I knocked furiously for the third time and finally, the door was unlocked and I glided by waving to people I know, I barely know, or, I don't know at all. It's rapport-building 101 where you meet and greet people and then you choose who you want to mingle. As for me and my experiences, I prefer to roam around. I do enjoy talking to people and besides, I've already met several of them a few days ago. It's not as if I need to be updated on their life. After all, everyone has some personal information no one needs to hear - or to put it in a better term, save it to themselves.
New guys always makes me giddy and excited more so if I get to interact with them. Heck, I'm no brainiac nor do I want to bore them with geeky, nerdy and politically-inclined topics but it's nice to know people who might share the same wave length. And no, I don't tell them that I'm a blogger and if they ask, I tell them I'm not. I'm that secretive or maybe I'm just in denial. Hahahaha!
Oooh, the spread was fantastic! From the Banapple Bannoffee Pie (which I instantly noticed) to Pancit Lucban (which I love, love, love) to roasted chicken to Amber's pichi-pichi, it was a dieter's worst enemy but a binge-eater's best friend. The interaction with people was nice but I need nourishment so I ate. And man did I eat a lot.
But everyone who went there knows that the juiciest part was something inedible but tasty. ;)
At about 3am, someone knocked. We all thought it was another guest but apparently it was a bunch of hotel staff. They talked to one of the event-in-charge while we silently looked at them from outside the door.
"They're searching for gay guys and found you to be too overtly gay." I jokingly told my friend who was sitting next to me. We laughed but that moment was a serious matter for it involved a head count which may require us to shell out cash.
When the hotel staff finished the head count, they excused themselves and went down as if nothing happened, we all went back to our former partying mode but tried to lower our voices for some other checked-in guests might file a complaint, nevertheless, the party mode was back on. After several minutes, when I thought J and Dee were already on their way home, J came back and told us about the real situation: apparently, there were 53 of us left and they have this 1 am policy in which people inside the room numbering in more than six would be charged 1,800 pesos per head amounting to 97,000 pesos (so, two heads per person? Okay, that was a lame joke). I was shocked and some of us had the same reaction. Good thing J told the management that had we known that that's going to happen then we would definitely be hiking out way before 1 am. The hotel staff consulted their supervisor and gave us an hour to evacuate the whole premise. As promised, the moment J told us that, we were on our way towards the hotel's exit to plan where to eat breakfast.
"Now where shall we go?" I asked most of them while they're still realizing the situation earlier. We had poker faces at the wee hours of the morning. Imagine a group of gay guys hanging outside near El Paseo asking themselves what just happened and where to get some grub. It was hilarious in a politically incorrect term, not to mention situation.
Even though we were evicted because of the policy, it was still a great party and I truly enjoyed it with friends.
Something great, something interesting, something funny and something irksome to start the year 2011.
Part 2
Monday, January 10, 2011
Of Discovery, Discovering and Discover
Saturday night.
As my feet quickly hopped onto the tarmac of Ortigas, I let out a deep breath while saying to myself: "This is it!" The traffic jam and the burst of people coming from inside Megamall did not stop me from hiking through the gargantuan infrastructure towards the exit where I need to walk through. Heading towards Saint Francis Square to make a short cut inside, perhaps, I suddenly realized that it was already closed and I can't enter through to cut my way towards Podium into ADB Avenue.
"Damn!" I voiced out my frustration amidst people walking on all corners of the street. Oh well, it was still a pretty cool night and I know it's well worth it. I smiled and walked towards the other side of the road going to ADB Avenue and as soon as I saw some employees walking from Podium, I made a left turn towards it and entered the posh mall with nonchalance but with stride and poise as if I bought something inside. I opened the glass door towards the exit and found myself walking towards the west - Discovery Suites. The cardio freak in me brisk walked not knowing where the place really is. All I know was that it's at ADB Avenue and near Holiday Inn.
Or so I thought.
Passing through Oakwood Residences made me feel queasy as if I made a wrong turn and yes, sweat - and lots of it - was already forming on my nape, my chest, my back and my legs. I love doing cardio but not too much because this was not the right time. I looked across Holiday Inn and realized that I have somehow already missed it.
"Sir, where is Discovery Suites?" I asked a security guard from a nearby condo.
"It's in front of Podium. From here walk towards the next street towards the east then make a left turn. The street is just after Oakwood." The guard patiently gave me instructions.
"Mother of all...!" I silently screamed in my head. Such a hassle. I just passed through that building!
With another deep breath, a sigh, and an optimism, I walked back towards where the guard told me to go. I literally looked like a foreigner in desperate need of a tour guide. Man, my internal GPS is still whacked and I badly need to get it fixed. As my perspiration increased and my breathing became heavier I came across The Malayan Plaza where a glint of hope deemed on me. I felt I was near. Walking straight towards Emerald Ave., I still can't find the place, though.
"Sir, where is Discovery Suites?" I asked another guard, now from La Isla Condominium.
"There, third building." He pointed near Malayan.
"Ahhh, thank you." I can not thank him enough. I walked towards the first, second and finally the third building.
Trudging my feet onto the front desk, I heard someone call my name from behind, it was an acquaintance of mine.
"Room ***, please." I told the front desk officer.
"Under what name, sir?" The officer smiled while she asked.
I told her the name and she ordered her co-staff to assist us to the elevator. While inside the elevator I felt relieved.
Thank goodness for the power of interrogation. And the power of a fabulous party.
Part 1
As my feet quickly hopped onto the tarmac of Ortigas, I let out a deep breath while saying to myself: "This is it!" The traffic jam and the burst of people coming from inside Megamall did not stop me from hiking through the gargantuan infrastructure towards the exit where I need to walk through. Heading towards Saint Francis Square to make a short cut inside, perhaps, I suddenly realized that it was already closed and I can't enter through to cut my way towards Podium into ADB Avenue.
"Damn!" I voiced out my frustration amidst people walking on all corners of the street. Oh well, it was still a pretty cool night and I know it's well worth it. I smiled and walked towards the other side of the road going to ADB Avenue and as soon as I saw some employees walking from Podium, I made a left turn towards it and entered the posh mall with nonchalance but with stride and poise as if I bought something inside. I opened the glass door towards the exit and found myself walking towards the west - Discovery Suites. The cardio freak in me brisk walked not knowing where the place really is. All I know was that it's at ADB Avenue and near Holiday Inn.
Or so I thought.
Passing through Oakwood Residences made me feel queasy as if I made a wrong turn and yes, sweat - and lots of it - was already forming on my nape, my chest, my back and my legs. I love doing cardio but not too much because this was not the right time. I looked across Holiday Inn and realized that I have somehow already missed it.
"Sir, where is Discovery Suites?" I asked a security guard from a nearby condo.
"It's in front of Podium. From here walk towards the next street towards the east then make a left turn. The street is just after Oakwood." The guard patiently gave me instructions.
"Mother of all...!" I silently screamed in my head. Such a hassle. I just passed through that building!
With another deep breath, a sigh, and an optimism, I walked back towards where the guard told me to go. I literally looked like a foreigner in desperate need of a tour guide. Man, my internal GPS is still whacked and I badly need to get it fixed. As my perspiration increased and my breathing became heavier I came across The Malayan Plaza where a glint of hope deemed on me. I felt I was near. Walking straight towards Emerald Ave., I still can't find the place, though.
"Sir, where is Discovery Suites?" I asked another guard, now from La Isla Condominium.
"There, third building." He pointed near Malayan.
"Ahhh, thank you." I can not thank him enough. I walked towards the first, second and finally the third building.
Trudging my feet onto the front desk, I heard someone call my name from behind, it was an acquaintance of mine.
"Room ***, please." I told the front desk officer.
"Under what name, sir?" The officer smiled while she asked.
I told her the name and she ordered her co-staff to assist us to the elevator. While inside the elevator I felt relieved.
Thank goodness for the power of interrogation. And the power of a fabulous party.
Part 1
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Murse
Have you ever heard of it? Murse?
Actually I couldn't help but make a guffaw when I heard it being said by someone.
Okay, so I was totally being superficial and ridiculous but you gotta admit, a Murse?
Is actually short for a Man Purse.
And I'm sure most of us have one, or two, or maybe more. ;)
What's inside mine? Well...
1) A Nivea "Whitening" Facial Wash - ah yes, expect Nivea to churn out products that has a whitening sign on their beauty products. I tell you I have been using this for quite some time and it never made my skin lighter. Or maybe my skin is just too thick to be whitened?
2) A Nivea "Whitening" 10-in-1 Facial Scrub - oh shut up,it's as if I really expect this one to actually whiten my face. I was more interested in the 10-in-1 shindig. Besides, if I really wanted to get whiter then I would have done it years ago.
Paging Maxi Peel babies.
3) A cheapo toothbrush - literally, I think you could actually get this free from a toothpaste brand and I even forgot the brand! Well, you wouldn't want your mouth to smell fishy when there's a party and the after party to attend to. Hehehe.
4) A small tube of Colgate's Sensitive Teeth Toothpaste - given by our family dentist weeks ago when I had a very, very, very postponed check-up on my teeth and retainers condition. Did I mention it was postponed for so long?
5) A small tube of Kiehl's Lip Balm - given to me by my ex (who wasn't ex that time). I've kept it, used it several times but still has a lot more. It's a man's best friend for chapped lips. I swear.
6) A Christian Dior Eyeglasses case - yeah, I bring this as well because I place my eyeglasses here rather than let it accidentally be scratched or be dropped to the floor by my clumsiness.
And last but not least,
7) A large KY jelly lubricant - for those spontaneous moments. And no, it hasn't been used before. Well, once, and it's not even what you're thinking.
Of course the best use of this is to place it on your partner or date's area for um, sensational purposes in public places.
Wahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Actually I couldn't help but make a guffaw when I heard it being said by someone.
Okay, so I was totally being superficial and ridiculous but you gotta admit, a Murse?
Is actually short for a Man Purse.
And I'm sure most of us have one, or two, or maybe more. ;)
What's inside mine? Well...
1) A Nivea "Whitening" Facial Wash - ah yes, expect Nivea to churn out products that has a whitening sign on their beauty products. I tell you I have been using this for quite some time and it never made my skin lighter. Or maybe my skin is just too thick to be whitened?
2) A Nivea "Whitening" 10-in-1 Facial Scrub - oh shut up,it's as if I really expect this one to actually whiten my face. I was more interested in the 10-in-1 shindig. Besides, if I really wanted to get whiter then I would have done it years ago.
Paging Maxi Peel babies.
3) A cheapo toothbrush - literally, I think you could actually get this free from a toothpaste brand and I even forgot the brand! Well, you wouldn't want your mouth to smell fishy when there's a party and the after party to attend to. Hehehe.
4) A small tube of Colgate's Sensitive Teeth Toothpaste - given by our family dentist weeks ago when I had a very, very, very postponed check-up on my teeth and retainers condition. Did I mention it was postponed for so long?
5) A small tube of Kiehl's Lip Balm - given to me by my ex (who wasn't ex that time). I've kept it, used it several times but still has a lot more. It's a man's best friend for chapped lips. I swear.
6) A Christian Dior Eyeglasses case - yeah, I bring this as well because I place my eyeglasses here rather than let it accidentally be scratched or be dropped to the floor by my clumsiness.
And last but not least,
7) A large KY jelly lubricant - for those spontaneous moments. And no, it hasn't been used before. Well, once, and it's not even what you're thinking.
Of course the best use of this is to place it on your partner or date's area for um, sensational purposes in public places.
Wahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
When The Ex Comes
Spotted: G doing the deed with an ex.
Looks like someone started the year with a bang.
When it's been months since the last, someone needs to look for one.
But you know yourself G, you're no risk-taker.
You stick to the tried and tested.
Not to mention most convenient.
But you do know the risks?
Or don't you?
Just a caution G, if he falls for you, just look at the mirror and smile while saying "it's all my fault."
Looks like someone started the year with a bang.
When it's been months since the last, someone needs to look for one.
But you know yourself G, you're no risk-taker.
You stick to the tried and tested.
Not to mention most convenient.
But you do know the risks?
Or don't you?
Just a caution G, if he falls for you, just look at the mirror and smile while saying "it's all my fault."
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The Price of Freedom
"This is jail. This is our jail." He told it to me in a matter-of-fact tone. I looked at him closely across the steel bars of their secluded home.
"What made you say that? Don't you know how lucky..."
"They lock us up all the time!" Mark vehemently made a rebuttal while I was explaining my side. I looked at him again, more closely than the last. His eyes turned to fire and it was directed into my eyes, melted by guilt.
"You have everything you need; food thrice a day, shelter through the cruel day and the gloomy night, clothes to keep you comfortable." I was trying to reason out with him, difficult as it may sound and believe from his view point but I have to tell him of his condition here.
"But being free..." He gulped his next words. He shyly looked away. He turned his body away from the me and where the sun light was entering the establishment.
"Look." I tried to reach him from his back, giving him a sense of safety but seeing that he was away from my reach I just told him: "I know how you feel."
"How do you know?! Have you ever been locked up before? Have you spent afternoons inside a miserly and cold place only to stare at the ceiling or at the wall?" His fiery eyes grew and he hissed which startled me.
I immediately withdrew my hand from inside and looked at him straight into his eyes. I felt what he said. It struck me in the saddest of ways.
"I wish I would really know how to feel being locked up so I could understand him more, so that I could understand them more." I told myself at the back of my mind.
"Look, all I'm trying to say is that what are you gonna do outside? Sniff rugby again? Or solvent perhaps? Steal from someone just to buy food? What will you do outside?"
"What do you think of us? Do you think we're all substance abusers here?" Mark's voice increased in volume and with a hint of sarcasm. "We're not all what you think. We came from families, we have families. Some have, some had."
I was taken aback. I instantly felt like a potato being mashed lowlier than a pulp. All I know is they are children who are being rehabilitated for substance abuse. I didn't think they were abandoned, abused and surrendered too.
After the throws of sentences, Mark literally muted me like a doll's mouth being sewn to give form but can not speak. I looked down on my shoes, embarrassed, guilty and ashamed of what I told him. True, I had no right to tell him that and I admit fault.
He slowly touched my hair and when I looked at him, he was now sporting a smile, the smile he used to wear when I first saw him. I smiled back knowing that he forgave me for what I said.
Maybe I couldn't understand him now, maybe I won't be able to, but I can relate, after all, there will always be a price to pay in return for freedom. Even for just a meager amount of it.
"What made you say that? Don't you know how lucky..."
"They lock us up all the time!" Mark vehemently made a rebuttal while I was explaining my side. I looked at him again, more closely than the last. His eyes turned to fire and it was directed into my eyes, melted by guilt.
"You have everything you need; food thrice a day, shelter through the cruel day and the gloomy night, clothes to keep you comfortable." I was trying to reason out with him, difficult as it may sound and believe from his view point but I have to tell him of his condition here.
"But being free..." He gulped his next words. He shyly looked away. He turned his body away from the me and where the sun light was entering the establishment.
"Look." I tried to reach him from his back, giving him a sense of safety but seeing that he was away from my reach I just told him: "I know how you feel."
"How do you know?! Have you ever been locked up before? Have you spent afternoons inside a miserly and cold place only to stare at the ceiling or at the wall?" His fiery eyes grew and he hissed which startled me.
I immediately withdrew my hand from inside and looked at him straight into his eyes. I felt what he said. It struck me in the saddest of ways.
"I wish I would really know how to feel being locked up so I could understand him more, so that I could understand them more." I told myself at the back of my mind.
"Look, all I'm trying to say is that what are you gonna do outside? Sniff rugby again? Or solvent perhaps? Steal from someone just to buy food? What will you do outside?"
"What do you think of us? Do you think we're all substance abusers here?" Mark's voice increased in volume and with a hint of sarcasm. "We're not all what you think. We came from families, we have families. Some have, some had."
I was taken aback. I instantly felt like a potato being mashed lowlier than a pulp. All I know is they are children who are being rehabilitated for substance abuse. I didn't think they were abandoned, abused and surrendered too.
After the throws of sentences, Mark literally muted me like a doll's mouth being sewn to give form but can not speak. I looked down on my shoes, embarrassed, guilty and ashamed of what I told him. True, I had no right to tell him that and I admit fault.
He slowly touched my hair and when I looked at him, he was now sporting a smile, the smile he used to wear when I first saw him. I smiled back knowing that he forgave me for what I said.
Maybe I couldn't understand him now, maybe I won't be able to, but I can relate, after all, there will always be a price to pay in return for freedom. Even for just a meager amount of it.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
'F"
The more, the merrier.
The anticipation grows and the excitement increases.
When one do this to you, how do you feel?
Delighted?
Proud?
Satisfied?
Fulfilled?
Isn't it funny how one could not help but smile after? Or smirk with confidence?
How ecstatic one might feel?
Ah, don't you just love it?
What if I un-follow you then? ;)
The anticipation grows and the excitement increases.
When one do this to you, how do you feel?
Delighted?
Proud?
Satisfied?
Fulfilled?
Isn't it funny how one could not help but smile after? Or smirk with confidence?
How ecstatic one might feel?
Ah, don't you just love it?
What if I un-follow you then? ;)
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