Of Beauty And Tragedy

Javi, the first guy I met at Planet Romeo looked me in the eye.

“So, does your boyfriend know about this?” Javi asked while driving his car. He would be dropping me off near my area.

“Yes.” I answered without hesitation.


“Well, at least you’re frank about it.” He told me.

A few moments of silence.

“How about you, do you have a partner.” I inquired.

“None.”

“When was the last one?”

“Last year.”

“I see.”

Another moment of silence.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what was…” I paused.

“The cause of our break-up?” He caught my question in mid-air.

“Yes.”

“He died… last year.”

I looked down.

“I, I’m sorry Javi.”

“No, no that’s alright.” He comfortingly told me.

“We were together for 10 years.” He added.

“Ah…”

Being the curious person that I am, I asked what happened.

“We were in Scotland that time. We made a promise to ourselves that we’ll go out of the country at least once a year. Anyway, we were along the countryside that time. We were in a car with the driver and the two of us at the back. Suddenly out of nowhere, a deer or something ran across the road. The driver quickly swerved to avoid it and we were all okay. See?” He showed me his arms. “I don’t even have a scratch in my body.”

“Yeah, I could see that.” I nodded.

"So we were fine. We were able to go to our hotel that night…but…” He paused for a moment and made a deep breath.

“A few hours later, he was having convulsions, and after that he left me… Can you just imagine me in a foreign country with my lifetime partner gone?”

“I couldn't imagine Javi.”

 I could see him, he was focused on the road but his mind wandered.

“Later in the hospital, it was learned that he actually had internal hemorrhage. It was shocking. I wanted us to go to the hospital earlier, but he wouldn’t. I persuaded him, he wouldn’t budge. He don’t want me to worry about him, as I am very protective of him, and him of me.” Javi narrated while I listened intently.

A few minutes passed and we found ourselves seated outside Starbucks. He lit a cigarette.

“So how’d you two meet?”

“I was going to Shenzhen that time and he was too. We were at the airport by the counter to pay for the terminal fee.” He said.

“I was the first to see him. He was tall, like 6’2”, lean, good-looking, chinito. He was a model you know, he did model for SM, Penshoppe, and Bench in the earlier days, but he made a career change.” He puffed his cigarette and placed it on the ashtray.

“I told myself he’s cute, but that was it. I have come to terms that I was an average-looking 5’6” guy, and he was obviously beyond me.” He smiled a little.

“Strangely enough, he was looking at me too. I told myself, maybe he is just looking at my things. So I dissed the idea that he was actually looking at me.”

“Then what happened next?”

“Ah, yes.” He puffed another one from his cigar before continuing.

“We were on the same plane. He was just across the aisle. Funny thing is, we were still both stealing glances at each other.”

He looked at the space where cars passed.

“Landing in Shenzhen, I immediately went to my hotel. Lo and behold, we were booked at the same hotel too!”

He shook his head.

“That morning, while I went into the hotel’s restaurant, I saw him eating breakfast. I told myself I want to ask him out, well, because I was horny at that time.”

 We both laughed.

“I marched my way up to his table and asked if the other seat was taken, to which he replied ‘no’.” “I was really trying hard to start a conversation with him, but to no avail, he was passive. I got frustrated I walked out of the table and went into the bar area. I wrote my room number in a tissue and I literally placed it in front of him. Then I walked away. That was probably the most humiliating thing I ever did.”

I looked into Javi’s eyes and I saw brief happiness.

“So, I was inside the hotel the whole day because of my meetings. I was already sleeping, as I was so tired, when suddenly, I heard a knock on my door.”

“It was him.”

“He said I left a note in front of him and I told him that that was just a joke. But he laughed it off. I asked him to come in. Nothing happened that time. We talked all night and before we went back to the country we made a promise to hang-out with each other.”

He was telling it to me like he was engulfed in a beautiful dream, one where wishes come true.

And then he proceeded.

“Two weeks had passed by the time I arrived in Manila and we had no communication whatsoever. So he completely left my mind already. Then one day, I don’t know if you know beepers?” I nodded. “Well I received a beep from someone and it read ‘Shenzhen’ so I knew whom it came from...”

Part 1 of 3