Boys Night Out

Spotted: G having a ball at the party.

But the question is, where's G?

Part 2

Insight

You never blame people for a motive gone wrong.

The Hues Of Pink

The night was humid and warm, I took my cap off and ruffled my hair. My forehead was starting to form beads of perspiration and I was nearly home.

Glancing from afar I saw shirtless men with their bottles of Red Horse and singing merrily in front of the store.

"Oceeeaaan Deeeeep! I'm so afraid to show my feelings!"

 

They were singing a sentimental song but made it much jollier, much out of note.

They were having the time of their life, with nothing to think but tonight. Drink and be merry so they say.

Farther down the street I was walking, I saw him, the parlorista with his waddling walk, over-the-top make-up, and flamboyant manicure set, he was out to service someone.

The parlorista who I see every night that has an 8-5 job at a parlor near our subdivision's entrance.

The parlorista who I see every night walking along dark alleys of our subdivision just so he could render service to someone and make an extra income. It doesn't matter how much, what matters is there is something.

The parlorista who I see, not every night, but sometimes, buying food for his nieces and nephews because his siblings left all the responsibility to him while they either gossip about someone or drink till the wee hours of the morning.

The parlorista who I see buying medicines for his ailing mother that despite how much he tries to make ends meet, he just can't seem to do so, yet he tries his very best.

As he gaudily sashayed near the store to pass, all types of insults flew from the drinking men's mouths, them with their beer bellies, haughty laughter, and derogatory mockeries.

He went on as if nothing happened.

But I heard them crystal clear.

As the parlorista passed through me, I saw his eyes - of remorse and sadness.

He knows I am too, an ally, a brother, or a sister, perhaps.

I wish I could have said something, defended him for such lies they threw at him.

But I couldn't. And bowed my head as if shamed.

Arriving at home, I immediately took all of my clothes and took a bath and drowned my thoughts.

I got out of the bathroom with a miniscule sense of relief.

But the night was still warm and suddenly it just felt so much warmer.

Boys Night Out

Hey Upper Eastsiders!

So are you ready to send off our favorite girl to a life of screaming kids and mortgages? Before H joins the land of happily ever after, let us show her what life was like during the good old times. Because it will surely be missed.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Black and White Party. Come in your most "I'm Single Fuck Me I'm Famous Look" as we celebrate the end of an era. And the dawn of a new one.

XOXO



Black or white? I was pondering what I would wear that Saturday night. It was a bachelorette's party that I will attending in a few hours and I have not decided yet what color to choose from.

Black? Evil, dark, dangerous, yet thrilling.


White? Simple, clean, pure, however, boring.

There I was inside the train going home, wondering what to wear.

I figured I would go with white. Yes, white. A safe choice.


As the clock struck 10, I found myself needing to go black: evil, dark, dangerous, and thrilling, and slimming too.

So black then. I told myself.

With my brushed up hair, leather jacket, and skinny jeans, I head out to The Fort - The Distillery to be exact.


Excited yet intimidated, I inched my way upstairs. I thought they'd be there as midnight was the time of the party... lo and behold, I see no familiar face.

Going down while I inched again from a not-so-familiar crowd, I went out to wait for them. A few moments later the crowd went rolling still. I still saw no recognizable face.

In a matter of 10 to 15 minutes, I finally saw faces that I do recognize.

One by one their group was finally forming. I felt relieved. However, we were still waiting for the two - the party boy and the it girl.

Alas, in a few minutes I finally saw the two alight the cab and now, I can truly say that the party was on.

With his golden locks and bold outfit, Goldilocks would have thrown a fit and be green with envy, and with his sister's perfect figure and hot dress, the two were certainly ready to have fun.

But enough of intros. I'd rather tell you how we had a blast!

True, earlier during the course I heard a straight guy tell his friend how numerous the gay guys were at that time but what the heck, it doesn't really matter. We went there to have some effin' fun and have a blast...









Part 1

When Truth Be Told

I had just lost my phone nearly a week ago and I chanced upon JP being online on Monday morning so I decided to give him my new number, and maybe catch up with him.

 JP is one of my closest, quirkiest, wittiest friends I have. I met him through a party last 2009 and we have been in touch ever since.


I recently heard he was dating another guy after his break-up from JB.

"JP, I didn't know who H was!" I typed in a typical excited tone.


"Have I met him?"

"I seriously don't know you were already dating someone!"

My messages were in quick succession. 


"G, H was the one who was in front of the car when we went home in Paranaque!"

Oh damn! Seriously? I was that drunk to not have recognized the guy? Next time G, know your limits.

Anyway, we were still chatting and like all volley of conversations, he chanced upon me and my idea of an open relationship.

"Is it you or him that wanted one?"

"I actually proposed that but he made it clear how he just wants us to be us."
 
"G, are you his first?" JP asked.


"Yes and he's my nth time." I replied.

"I see. Maybe that is why he doesn't want it to be open."


"You know G, I could never see myself as that person."

"Yeah, I could sense that. Even with you and JB still together." I told him.


"I could never see myself as being in an open one because I just can't seem to think how I would be able to adjust to that set-up. If I have someone, I give him my all. Not a part, the whole of what I can offer."

"Plus...plus there is such complexity of it all and add to that the clarity of expectations."


There, there it is. A phrase I wasn't expecting.

Clarity of expectations.


And you know what, he is absolutely correct. Open relationships must be clearly, rigidly, strictly defined. 

This is one set-up where everything from impossible can be possible. A strings-no strings attachment of dilemma.

And ultimately crack open a once healthy relationship just because.

So just because you get bored with your relationship it does not mean it is meant to be open. Relationships aren't always on a drug-induced, all-time high - it also has its lows.


It's all a matter of how the two can work it out to let the spark keep sparking.

You may get it from other men but that would just be rude. Or just indecent.

"Well anyway JP, I have got to go. Keep me posted and I will see you soon."


And finally I signed out of yahoomail and closed the window.

Personal Philosophy

"You seem to move on real easily, G." JG said in his text message.


"I am that person, someone where moving on is inevitable, a loss is a loss, yes, but that doesn't mean I have to dwell on them." I replied.


"But I seem to sense you move on faster, you let go things too easily."


"Well because I know I need to. Moving on doesn't have to wait long, so should I be."

"It doesn't bother you then?"


"You know I have asked myself that question too many times. It used to bother me, it bothered me a lot. Where the last time I was totally rejected, I cried for a year, I sobbed for nearly a year, and now I am okay."


"Life is like that you know, maturity comes at the worst of times because it has to be that way, you need to learn from it, or else..."


"Or else what?" He inquired.


"Or else you'll be stuck in regression - a time when happy thoughts of you and that someone special used to share will be engraved, and you reminisce that time, and you tell yourself it's over but at the same time you also tell yourself that there may be hope. A conflict arises for the nth time."


"Well JG, I have got to sleep. We will talk soon."


And with that I flipped my phone over and tucked myself to sleep.


They say moving on is hard, and you know what, they are right. No one moves easily from a break-up, let alone a bad one. But one has to. That is how life works.


I used to be this idealistic guy who tells himself every now and then that I am their loss, that they must have been really stupid to let go of me and go off with another man.


But I was just being delusional.


So in increments, in small steps, I am rediscovering who I really am when handling these situations. I have learned to let go faster than I had to because holding on to such memories can just be a wretch. I have learned that at some point in our lives, there was beauty in that feeling of such bliss. I have learned that we need not be okay at first but will need to be, soon.


It always has to be that way.

Of Pegasus and Unicorns

Exes are like mythical creatures.


At some point in our lives we made to believe they were true.

No Thank You, Soju!

I was already feeling very tipsy, wobbling from side to side not even Ms. Supsup can trounce.


Yeah, I had about 10 shots of soju.


That poison of a drink which made me laugh my head off when I see people who had too much of this.


For two years since it was introduced to the group, every party warranted a soju - a bottomless stock of this clear, pure toxin.


And for two years I have made fun of those guys who came, drank, puked, and got wasted after.


I remembered my first time I got wasted from another occasion with the popular Mindoro sling. It was one of the worst feelings one could ever have: the spinning vision, the nauseating state, the shaking knees, the throw-ups. Yeah, disgusting and I never wanted to feel that way again, ever.


But how could I resist such beautifully-carved topless men? Where each serving means another smile from them?


I surely can't. Especially you, you bald guy. Even though you're straight.


Imagine 10 shots. Every invite, I drink.


The most I had was five shots and that was my limit.


By the 6th I was talking very rapidly, the 7th I was walking with a little wobble, by the 8th I was talking mostly without sense and more wobbly, the 9th made me shut up and stay still, by the 10th I  found myself going to a corner and throwing up, which, by the way, was not how I wanted people there to see me.


JB, the send-off party celebrant, already passed out on the corner of a couch and JP told me he will drop DI to his home in Paranaque.


Bingo!


The party was really, really fun and this is coming from a guy who never liked KTVs and sing-along celebrations but this one was very different and festive. But I had to leave.


And so there I was inside the car, holding a plastic bag near my mouth - just in case.


Ugh. Destroyed.

The Set-up

"Text me when you're near." The boy from Grindr texted me.


"I will, just give me a few more minutes. I just need to bookbind something." I quickly replied.


"So, McDonald's Dapitan then?"


"Yeah, it's nearer my dorm than Chowking or Jollibee."


"Okay, will keep you posted once I am finished here."


So there I was, waiting for my paperworks to be bookbinded and then meeting some random stranger just like my G4M days.


Honestly I felt nervous for multiple of reasons.


What if he finds me fat?


What if he thinks I'm effeminate?


What if I am just too short for him?


A myriad of insecurities suddenly rose concealed from the deepest crevice of my mind.


I suddenly snapped from my worries and told myself: "We'll just meet. No biggie."


After I have thanked the man in the shop I went on my way towards McDonald's - the meeting place.


"Hey, I will be there in about 5 minutes." I texted him while brisk walking past students.


Finally I arrived outside the venue, more than my sweat around my forehead, my anxious state.


I decided to go inside since there's free wi-fi plus I wasn't able to eat lunch.


"Caramel sundae please."


I got my order in just a few seconds and sat a few feet away from the entrance. I wanted him to see me instantly.


"Are you eating sundae?" He suddenly texted out of nowhere.


"Yeah, sorry, I wasn't able to eat lunch so I am really, really hungry."


"Don't you wanna come in first?" I added.


"No, I'll just wait for you here outside."


"Okay."


The caramel sundae was finished in an instant and before I grabbed my backpack, I let out a big sigh.


"Hi, Rusel right?" I shook his hand.


"Finally nice meeting you G."


"Likewise."


And from my worries during my G4M days, my mind shifted from how different his picture looked like. Really different. Poser.


It was a brief talk and I even forgot what we talked about.


Then he stopped. We were in Piy Margal.


"Heyyy...my dorm is just around the corner. You wanna hang-out?"


His voice was inviting, tempting.


And I was being invited and tempted.


Before I was able to make a reply I felt my phone vibrate - a text message.


"Hey lovey, I am home already. Text me when you get home. Miss you."


I read the message and looked at the guy in front of me.


"No thanks. I still have a lot to do tonight."


And we parted ways less than 10 minutes after meeting the guy from Grindr.


Maybe this open relationship can wait for now.












Part 2