Who's the He and the She in a Gay Relationship?!

What the fuck! This was my initial reaction upon hearing Joy ask me this question. Personally, I was offended and thought of not talking to her anymore but the longer it lingered in my mind, the more I get what she's saying. I'm sure she didn't mean to offend me in a discriminating way. Straight people are interested on how we handle hetero things. I actually thought this was a very interesting topic, one that would excite neurons of people like us or PLU's.

From a perfect modern socio-cultural example, we see a couple made up normally of a man and a woman, they are a heterosexual couple. The man is the breadwinner: a man who is the foundation of the home where he and his wife live, a man who does the hard laborious chores like doing carpentry, fixing the clogged faucet, throwing the garbage, a man who works hard to earn a living to support their daily needs and wants. The woman on the other hand is the beacon of the house, one who does most of the light chores like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, preparing and serving the dinner, one who supports the household through working also. These are just typical roles a man and a woman performs in the society.

Now, in this modern society of ours where we can clearly see a bigger picture on the roles of homosexuals may they be in a relationship, living together or not. Gay guys will always be gay guys but the most important thing to consider is gender: Male. Whooops, for now, I won't include gay guys who wants to be women, because if I include them here, this will become an endless debate or worse, a heated argument about discrimination. Now that's out of the way let us go back to our main agenda... Male or anima or masculinity, we are all born male but the difference is that we like males too. :) The problem with society is that some ignoramuses about gay relationships dictate what gay relationship should be, case in point, it should have a female and male counterpart as resembling in a heterosexual relationship. But the thing is, it doesn't. We are males, dominatrix, possessive, powerful, pikon, sweet, matampuhin, thoughtful, jealous, torpe... we are all those and more, sure, there are some researches explaining that males and females have the anima (female) and animus (male) built instinctively within every individual. I don't think that being gay makes our anima more, nor do I think our femininity is increased. No research or science has proven such hypothesis. I am not afraid to say that I like to be courted, to be given extra attention, to be caressed, to be kissed, to be fondled, to feel butterflies in my stomach, to have kissmarks, and to have pleasure. Who doesn't right? I haven't met a gay guy who do wanna court but not be courted. but we just don't do it like how straight people do. We think out of the box and be creative because we fairly believe that flowers, chocolates, and teddy bears are so cliche and outdated. I wanna court someone also, believe me. I would like to give him everything his heart desires, offer him my affection and what not, impress him with what I can offer the world and especially to him, put my best, cleanest, neatest foot forward complete with a great pedicure and foot spa of course. Remember guys, it's all about give and take...it doesn't have to be a guy-girl relationship to make it work.

Some straight couples would also ponder how roles in the home is designated just in case they're co-habitating, I, if ever I would be co-habitating would presumably do the cleaning of the house, it goes well with my obsessive-compulsive personality plus I don't know anything about carpentry, fixing cars and plumbing. I don't think I would come out as the 'she' in the home just because I like to do what 'straight' females do. Instead I would just point out that these are what I do best and I guess I would stick to what I know.

For the point of extending this blog and discussion let's add roles in bed, being a top and a bottom guy...

Again, people of the straight variety would ask this question, they would deliberately ask this because they are oh-so curious and oh-so interested with what we do especially in bed. "What are you, a top or a bottom?" asked my ever curious friend Joy. I would just smile at her and keep my mouth shut. Top or bottom, it doesn't matter because there will be reversal of roles with let's say a versatile guy. So even if you say you're a Pure Top or a Pure Bottom or a Top versa or a Bottom versa, it's still a choice. Your choice. Top guys are usually seen as the 'lalake' in the society, they are the more masculine, the more powerful between the partner. Bottom guys are seen as the 'babae', the one who wants to be entered, the more feminine-acting, the more sensitive or soft. Believe me, this is a very prejudice notion. I have lived nearly 6 years already as a gay guy and I still have problems identifying the Top and the Bottom in a gay couple. The top=male and bottom=female is an imposed idea of what straight people think of us. Try to explain them that this is not always the case nor will it be really the case. Bed-role preference is something we are more blessed than straight people, don't you think? :)

Anyway, to cap off this post, I would just like to say there is no such thing as a he and a she in a gay relationship as far as most gay guys are concerned, both males need not conform to what society dictates because after all, we are being true with the color blue and we are also unique with a touch of pink.