Ina

“Schön!”

Beautiful!

I messaged my former classmate in his Facebook story.

It was a beautiful short clip of a park in Germany. The sun was setting. The clouds were nearly out aside from the ones that refused to vanish but it gave the nearly dark-bluish sky looking more amazing. The grass was in an awesome hue of green and dark green. There were a few people walking but nature was everywhere. 

“Es ist eine eigentlich schön Bild oder?”

It is a really beautiful picture. He replied.

“Genau. Wie geht’s?”

Precisely. How are you?

“G, ich bin sehr traurig.” 

G, I am very sad. He said.

“Warum?”

Why? I asked.

“Nahirapan akong makabalik sa mga paa ko since my mother died.”

“Ay oo nga. Condolences again. And how are you coping?”

“Alam mo, ich habe keine Idee. Manchmal gehe ich hier. Ich laufe hier, sodass ich meine Kopf klaren.”

I don’t have any idea. Sometimes I go here. I walk here so I can clear my head.

“Wala ka bang makausap diyan?”

“Alam mo G, ang hirap rin palang andito ka sa ibang bansa. Kahit marami kaming Pinoy dito, may kanya-kanya pa rin kaming buhay. Minsan, mahirap ring mag-open up sa kanila.”

“Und das ist eine schwer Situation. Ich kann dir verstehen.”

And that is a difficult situation. I can understand you. I said.

Naaalala ko ang nanay niya. She was the one who mostly raised her children. Maaga kasing namaalam ang kanilang ama. Naging nanay at tatay siya ng sabay. Kaya siya ang nagpatuloy sa pagtataguyod sa kanyang pamilya. Nakaahon sa awa ng Diyos. Nakapagtapos ng mga anak. 

“Ganito pala yun Pao ano? Hindi mo alam kung anong mararamdaman ko o anong pwede mong gawin sa buhay mo. I don’t know. I don’t really know...”

Naramdaman ko ang lungkot niya kahit sa mga mensahe lamang.

Ano nga bang gagawin sa ganitong sitwasyon?

Makinig.

Walang kailangang gawin kundi makinig.

Bilang kaibigan at kaklase.

Bilang tao.

“Du kannst viele zu machen. Du bist frei.”

You can do a lot. You are free.

Wala na rin kasi akong masasabi. Alam naman niyang pwede niya akong kausapin dito. Kahit sa Messenger lamang.

“Gib dir mehr Zeit.”

Give yourself more time. I told him.

“Maybe...maybe I’ll find myself once more...”