Of Seas and Scenes

"O, kumalma ka na?"

My friend asked me the other night.

I slowly placed my hands behind my head and lay on the bed. I looked above and observed the bed's design. Classic yet refined.

I tried looking for the right reply to his question...

"Oo, I would like to think so." I said.

"Hay, mabuti naman kumalma ka na." And smiled.

I smiled back. "Yeah. It's about time. You get to a certain point in time when you think things through. Hindi na padalos-dalos na desisyon or fickle-minded decisions. Tumatanda na tayo. Alam mo yan!"

We laughed on bed.

Humiga na din siya katabi ko.

Naririnig namin ang hampas ng alon sa baybay. Masarap pakinggan. Nakakawala ng stress.

"I think we get to a point that your emotions are still intense but it's less intense now, more rational." I continued. "There was a point in my life where I was so irrational and illogical that all my decisions were all bad decisions. Ganoon kalala."

"I understand you, dear."

I looked at him and nodded.

"I remembered one time when I broke up immediately with a guy and I will never, ever forget what he said."

"What did he say?"

"There will come a time in your life where you will regret this."

"At naniwala ka naman?" Looking surprised.

"In some ways, oo, kasi that was like a spur-of-the-moment decision. Hindi ko inisip ang sitwasyon. I only thought of myself. Stupid."

"Pero was it a push comes to shove moment?"

"Hindi. I was just young and indecisive. Plus, ang yabang ni kuya. Urban Planner for Ayala eh!"

We laughed lightly.

"Hindi lang naman ikaw ang dumaan diyan. I know alam mo yan."

"Oo naman. Naisip ko lang yung desisyon kong iyon. I didn't regret breaking up with him but what I regretted was how I could have handled the situation."

I looked outside. It was pitch black yet the sea still was so energetic, with waves coming back and forth with the wind marrying the sound from afar.

"Natuto na ako. Sobra. Lalo na sa huli ko." I honestly told him. "At sinabi ko sa sarili ko that I will try to give everything to my partner now. Lahat ng hindi ko naibigay sa ex ko, I will make sure I give every little detail. And if it doesn't work again? Then I will learn from them again."

And again.

I finally closed the light, kissed his forehead and blanketed ourselves to sleep.

“You see, some things I can teach you. Some you learn from books. But there are things that, well, you have to see and feel.” Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini