Of A Certain Uncertainty

"James, are you and your partner still together?"

I immediately sent a Facebook message even though it was 1AM in the morning.

And even though the text might be blunt, I did not care. All I know is that my friend has to know the truth.

"Yes. We are still together." James finally replied around 5 in the morning. "Why?" He asked.

"He's going to meet someone on Sunday." I told him.

"How'd you know, G?"

"He's my officemate."

"Oh..." James was still composing his thoughts. "Well that figures because we only see each other on Saturdays." He added.

"But we can't jump into conclusions yet, okay? Let me do more research. The guy might be a poser for all we know. All I know right now is that his WeChat name is ***."

But I know James was feeling uneasy already.

"So let me check with my officemate where he is located and finally his number, just so I can confirm. But I will have to update you about Friday night."

"Okay, G."

"No problem."

"And G?"

"Yes James?"

"Thanks."

"What for?"

"For telling me this..."

"No problem James. :)"

"This will be your birthday gift to me."

"James, I don't want my gift for you to be like this."

"It's okay, G, at least the deceit is gone."

And right then and there, I know how James must have been feeling: in confusion.

"Hey Paul, is it okay if I obtain his number?" I messaged him through Viber when I got home.

"Sure thing but he has not given it to me yet." Paul said. "Update you later."

"Thanks."



Friday night.

I approached Paul in their Production Area even though he was busy with work. "This is it." I told myself.

"Were you able to get his number?" I tapped Paul on his shoulder.

"Yes, but I will give it to you shortly as my phone is in my locker."

"Okay. Thanks."

I waited in the pantry because I know he will be having lunch soon. And I was right, he came in with his phone. Paul gave it to me.

And now all I need to do is send it to James and fit the missing piece of the puzzle.

"Hey James, you're probably sleeping as of this time. Anyway, here is his number: 09***"

Sent.

"Yup. That's his alright."

James finally messaged me again about 5 in the morning.

"I am sorry, James."

"No, it's okay G. I figured something was weird when we stopped seeing each other since our last monthly anniversary." James was starting to narrate of the events that led to this:

Prior to that, they barely saw each other and the partner was always telling him that he has to go somewhere. James understood because he knows his partner, if his partner goes out, he usually posts it through Facebook but lately, there has been no posts.

"And you didn't question that, James?"

"No. Because he always tells me where and I just have to respect that. I believed in him."




"There will never be an appropriate response for uncertainty." - Anonymous


They broke up Saturday night.

Part 3

Of A Certain Uncertainty

My eyes widened.

And handed Paul his phone back.

"I know him." I calmly told him.

"What?" He asked.

"I know him. He's my friend's partner."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How can you be sure?"

"I can show you my friend's Facebook pictures."

"Are they still together?"

"I will ask." I was pressured

Although I may be wrong.

He might be a poser or the real thing.

Anyway, I got my phone and searched for my friend. I looked for his albums. I looked through the pictures in the albums just to show Paul the proof that they are together.

And finally I was able to find one, where they posed for a picture inside the church. They were sitting on the wooden bench, James and his partner were smiling. James' smile was like he was in bliss.

I showed Paul their picture.

He just smiled at the picture. I know what that means. He's still gonna pursue his plans for Sunday.

I had to act fast.

And so, I sent a text to James that instant.



Part 2

Of A Certain Uncertainty

James and I met through Grindr. He is a kind-hearted man with a very good disposition too. He laughs a lot, even at my superficial jokes. He is very friendly as well. We did not have a hard time getting along with each other. He's one of the nicest people I know.

But he's jaded when it comes to love.

He told me that while we were hanging outside a Starbucks store in Paranaque. And while I was curious to ponder and probe, I respected his decision not to open it up.

A few months later I see him in Facebook. Oh that wonderful world of Facebook where you see your friends and their activities! And I see his photos always with a smile, a genuine blooming smile.

James was in love. And there it is, after years of searching, he finally met his man, the prince in his shining armor. And almost instantly I see pictures of them together: get-together reunions, friends reunions and even weddings.

Weddings. Where a man and woman unite to become one. Where people flock around the altar to respect the sanctity of everlasting commitment.

When you bring your partner to a wedding whether it be a friend's or a relative's wedding, I see it as coming to terms with yourself: your sexuality, your preference, your life moving forward, your life with the man whom you went with.

I could not believe it! The man who told me he was jaded, awfully jaded, was finally in the arms of someone he loves dearly.

I looked at their pictures, James was so happy. They were happy. And I, too, felt genuinely happy for them plus a deeper respect for James.




Thursday night in the office.

"G, I'm going to show you a guy who has been going to my place recently." Paul, my gay friend told me while they were having lunch at the pantry.

I felt his excitement. He was exuding arrogance at that time.

Paul is a recent PR and Grindr fan. When you have unli-data on your phone, you're bound to be connected...always.

"Go!" I told my officemate.

He showed me a guy, a really cute guy with an average body but with a killer smile.

"He's cute!" I blurted out.

"I knoooow!" He proudly boasted. "And the best part is that he went to my place twice. And with lights turned on!" He joked.

We laughed instantly.

"But I have to show you someone else, the one I'll be meeting on Sunday." He boastfully told me.

Paul opened his WeChat and showed me the picture.

He handed me his phone.

I looked at the picture.

I know the guy.



Part 1

Myth Busters

Because some people really have no idea what they're talking about...

1. You're gay therefore you like to dress as a woman.
No, it's not like that. Some do and that is what they want. Times have changed. We have nothing against the cross-dressers. They are just expressing themselves, but we have our own expression, our own style. Believe it or not, gay men actually dress more stylish than straight.

2. I'm a straight man and you're gay. You wanna have sex with me.
Are you kidding? With the abundance of gay men swimming around, we might as well stick to them.

Puh-lease. Not because you're straight and we want to be friends with you mean we wanna sleep with you.

P.S. Gays nowadays are hot. As in H-O-T!

3. You're in a relationship? Are you the man or the woman?
There are some instances where two guys have different roles in the relationship: one is more accustomed towards female duties while the other is towards the male, but nothing, and I mean nothing, like a man or a woman per se at all. We're equals.

4. Gay guys are really promiscuous.
Excuse me. Men, in general, are promiscuous, not just gay guys. Get your facts straight. Pun intended.

5. Gays pay guys for relationship.
One of the most irritable stereotyping ever. You know, it's true that some gay guys pay men for them to be their partner and we can't blame them. That's their thing. But times have changed, not because you're in a relationship with another man does not mean you want to get his money through his pants or something like that.