Of Relationship Dynamics
My ate and her girlfriend of 9 years broke up.
"She took her things." My ate told me when she went home last Monday.
"When?" I asked. I had just woken up from my sleep then.
"She left work early and got her things in the house. And then she texted me."
"Oh..." I was speechless.
For the first time in years.
"She said she fell out of love. That's what her text said." My ate continued.
Honestly, I could not think of anything to say to her. I could say "You'll get through it" or "It's going to be alright", but I couldn't. Theirs was different.
Gay and lesbian relationships are quite different, ours are more complicated.
So for the longest time that I had been hearing and experiencing heartbreaks from my gay friends and acquaintances...And let's not forget me. I could not really provide an advise because this is the first time I have encountered such.
Hearing her talk of her relationship fail, for the first time in nearly a decade, made me feel unusual. Unusual because I could not find the words on how to describe my feeling that moment.
I let my ate talk and vent out. That was the most rational thing to do. I can give her my insight and analysis but only if she asks. I do not question. I do not interrupt.
I was already preparing for work that night when she suddenly asked: "Will I be okay, G?"
"You're not right now, but you will be."
Part 1
"She took her things." My ate told me when she went home last Monday.
"When?" I asked. I had just woken up from my sleep then.
"She left work early and got her things in the house. And then she texted me."
"Oh..." I was speechless.
For the first time in years.
"She said she fell out of love. That's what her text said." My ate continued.
Honestly, I could not think of anything to say to her. I could say "You'll get through it" or "It's going to be alright", but I couldn't. Theirs was different.
Gay and lesbian relationships are quite different, ours are more complicated.
So for the longest time that I had been hearing and experiencing heartbreaks from my gay friends and acquaintances...And let's not forget me. I could not really provide an advise because this is the first time I have encountered such.
Hearing her talk of her relationship fail, for the first time in nearly a decade, made me feel unusual. Unusual because I could not find the words on how to describe my feeling that moment.
I let my ate talk and vent out. That was the most rational thing to do. I can give her my insight and analysis but only if she asks. I do not question. I do not interrupt.
I was already preparing for work that night when she suddenly asked: "Will I be okay, G?"
"You're not right now, but you will be."
Part 1
most people manage to recover from it.
ReplyDeletelook at me?
Surely, it was devastating. I still don't understand why lovers fall out of love.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time, people going through a heartbreak wouldn't listen to any piece of advice from other people, just yet. They just want/need someone to talk to, someone who doesn't necessarily have something to say. So yeah, I think you did the right thing of just listening to her, and letting her vent out.
ReplyDeleteI agree with heymrcusiosity's comment.
ReplyDeleteJust the other day, a girl classmate of mine way back in college messaged me in FB. We are not really close and she is now residing in Australia. She told me if I could call her thru Viber. I was puzzled, but I followed her request. I learned that she had just broken up with his boyfriend last week, and she needed someone to talk to. I listened to her sentiments while being quiet in the other end. After about 10 mins, she thanked me for listening and ended the call. I didn't have to give an advice or anything. She just needed someone who would listen and be with her in her moment of sadness.
Anyway, I am hoping for the best for your Ate. 9 years is no easy feat, so it would really take her time to completely move on. :(
Why do people fall out of love? I mean, the sizzle burns out, that's a part of any relationship, but do we commit because of the sizzle or because of the person we want to be committed with?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I believe you did the right thing by listening. Surely, she will move on. It's not the end of the world. And hey, let's not discount the possibility of them not getting back together.
I have a knack for moving on fast, but I know this doesn't apply to all people. Anyway, I believe that moving on is a matter of choice. Without the will, one will forever sing "The Man Who Can't Be Moved".
ReplyDelete