Last Try

In a trance of disbelief.

I read the message again. Again and again.

"It couldn't be." I softly muttered to myself. "How can that be, Rob?" I read the last lines as if I couldn't understand it. Wouldn't understand it.

It was painful. I could never compare it with anything else.

But that's the problem with optimism sometimes, denial wants to kick in and you lose touch of what's there in front of you, the reality.

"Rob, please, let's start all over again."

"I don't know G..."

"Well at least make me up for lost time."

I wasn't thinking logically, reasonably. All the time I was just thinking: we have to make it work, I have to.

"Okay G. :)"

"Thank you."

Valentine's Day ended well for me and it felt really good.

Not a day passed without me thinking of him - his work, his muay thai practices, his family - everything. But no text was sent to him. I was still hoping he would make the effort, the initiative to at least show that somehow, he still cares the slightest bit.

No text was received as well.

A week passed and now my anxiety kicked in.

I texted him the boldest inquiry I have ever made: "Do you still think about me, Robbie?"

Those words conveyed desperation. But that was what I was at that moment in time.

I waited for an hour, then hours, then a day passed by.

And then...

"I do, I do think about you but it's not how it used to be, G."

And finally, as I read the text, I half-smiled and accepted the fact.

"Thanks." I replied.




Part 2