Of Fallen Masks

Unbeknownst to him we were already acquainted months earlier. And we re-acquainted again at a masquerade party. His masquerade party.


It was the perfect disguise. A mask fits me well for the personal reason to have that anonymity. A cloak for the time being.


Until the need to take it off as part of the whole stint.


So there I was totally exposed from other people, mostly anonymous people.


Amidst my nature of being a wallflower the birthday boy greeted me and made me feel comfortable. It was awkward maybe because we really have not talked just some greetings from previous parties but nothing more, plus the fact that  my initial impression of him being a snob. As minutes passed I was able to sense his genuineness and sincerity...


And that was the start of it all.


After his birthday party we have been updating non-stop - his blog, his day, his work, his men, his take on situations and issues arising, my life, my previous work, my take on certain experiences, or my opinions with his upcoming titles to his blog posts.


We do not really qualify as scratching each other's backs but it is as close as that.


"You know G, I wouldn't be feeling like this if I have my family with me." He looked across the bed with his sleepy, tired, and sad eyes.


"I absolutely know what you mean..." I looked at him, he was still looking distantly.


"You know how I have always told you that my friends are my family here." He slowly slid into the comforter and started to close his eyes.


"I know K, I know." I slid into the comforter too and looked at the ceiling. I placed my hands at the back of my head.


We both sighed.


"That's what M and I  were talking about earlier, G. That I tend to think of problems that sometimes do not need to be one because that is my only issue. That I am still on the search for someone who is just like me." He continued to tell his story while I intently listened.


"Maybe that is why I love N. How he just knows everything and know me so well but at the same time being unpredictable and sweeping me off my feet."


"So you are looking for someone who is like you?"


"Yes. Someone who is like me."


"And N is exactly like you in most ways."


"Yes he is but in some ways, he is not."


"I see."


Sometimes we see ourselves in situations out of our hands yet still try to grasp some of it even if it means going through a process of knowing ourselves more, knowing someone more, knowing people more. For at some point we might encounter it again but this time we can handle it better, handle it with less fragility but still with caution.


"What a weird birthday."


"Well K at least you didn't say what a sad birthday."


And with that we covered ourselves with the warmth of the comforter and went to sleep and rest.


You shall be alright, oui, mes ami?