The Last Fallen Leaf

"My brother confirmed." Mr. Gray looked straight into my eyes. His voice, passive.

We had just stepped out of the PFW show in SMX. The air around us suddenly went from festive to serious.

"He told it to me when we were hanging-out at a local bar. He was drinking beer while I was drinking juice." He continued.

We guffawed at the thought.

It was during a volunteering act when I first met Mr. Gray and we clicked instantly. That was also the first time when he introduced me to his brother and right then and there I already knew.

His brother is gay.

I told him that that was what I initially felt but I also told him to just let it be, after all, we make our own decisions in life, who we are and who we want to be are ours to execute.

"But G, it can't be. We can't all be gay." He told it to me in a very neutral tone.

"Mr. Gray, you can't control him or anyone else for that matter. Sexuality isn't a lifestyle, it's a life."

He looked down at my shoes and he smiled.

"I like your shoes, where'd you buy them?"

"Topman."

"Rich kid." He joked.

"Dude, I bought them on sale. I'm not rich. You know where I stand."

Knowing him for quite sometime, he does fend off from sensitive topics such as these.

But I can not blame him. It is difficult being a homosexual more so if the entire brood of siblings are.

After that quick conversation he bade off goodbye and I, too, had said farewell.

As the day progressed I can not help but think of him and how he feels for I have been in his situation once and that led me to a lot of thoughts, deep ones, that really involved a lot of self-analysis.

"Hey Mr. Gray I just want you to know I completely understand how you feel and that is absolutely normal." I texted him while lying on my bed finding the most euphemistic words to send.

"Yeah, thanks a lot G. I really appreciate it."

"So how do you feel about it?"

"You know G it's funny how I somehow already knew it but when the time came that he confessed in the most subtle way, it still is hard."

"But of course it will sink in in time. Your brother is happy where he is and so should you be for him. Mr. Gray I know you are in retrospect right now, forming a thin layer of self-blame on yourself for being gay and how all of you are."

"Yeah plus the fact of who will be carrying our surname."

"Ah yes, that inevitable question of continuing lineage. Mr. Gray you are lucky to have understanding parents who still love you three and think that all of you are wonderful gifts for them. For now, that is not of worry, that should be the least of your worries. Time is always changing. In due time Mr. Gray your question will be answered. In due time."

"Thanks G, thanks a lot."

As my eyes started to feel heavy I saw myself asking the same question.

Maybe in time I shall have an answer for myself too...

Because living old and being gay does not mean living alone and being lonely.