Gym Gays er... Guys

Physicality is one aspect we can't devoid the gay community with. The very thought of nearly perfect chiseled pecs, popping-from-sleeve biceps, proportionately curved shoulders, visually-appealing V-shaped torso and the drool-worthy,impeccable, sculpted six pack abs.

My, my, how the ideal gay guy really evolved from yesteryears- from just looking good to looking good with a stable job to looking good with a stable job and a nice body to looking good with a well-paying job and a great idea- you get my point. Standards just got higher and higher. Sigh...

How funny and ironic we can be sometimes. If we go into retrospection, we can clearly imagine a caveman hunting everyday just to get through a day. We can also idealize that being chunky or tubby will get them nowhere hence they would starve. Most of them would have physiques that would make Piolo Pascual, Joem Bascon, and Derek Ramsay look wimpy and scrawny. Just think, they have to chase after their meal for God knows how many hours and distance. Cardio at its best! :) Let us now jump so far that we are now in the Age of Enlightenment or the Renaissance Period, a time when flab was considered fab, when weight is synonymous with wealth and when obesity is beauty... this was the time when people look at you with awe and glee when you have double chin or sticking-out love handles. Yes boys and gays, there was a time that most people admired the chubby and the stocky guys. Fast-forward to modernization coupled with my best friends...eating disorders: Ms. Anorexia and Mr. Bulimia plus the word 'thinspiration' plus the greatest discovery of man: size zero (0).

So, where do we gay guys stand?

Our society is harsh up to the point that it can and will eat you alive. Conforming to social norms add to our everyday stresses as people of uniqueness. We all know we're designed for perfection though no one is perfect, at least we can try to climb up there...

The Gym is our mecca: it offers a variety of unimaginable experiences from the visual to the sensual, it offers us a lot to do to make ourselves feel more 'wanted' or 'desired' in an opinionated kind of way and it offers us a whole array of people to interact with for just about anything. Bench-presses, squats, military presses, sweat, groans and semi-naked guys. Viewing pleasure taken to the next level.

Why bother going there?

Because we are creatures of insatiability, we want things when we want things, we crave for flesh in its nicest, most-sculpted form, we salivate over models and model-like people, we go ga-ga, we just go ga-ga and that's how it is in our world, in a modern gay world. I'm not trying to discriminate plus size people, I have been a plus size since I was a kid and let me tell you, it's harsher when you're big. So with the persuasiveness of my mom with her nagging and complaints, I drove myself to where I am today: a psychotic, weight-conscious, food-conscious, everything-conscious control freak out to help people with their problems either with weight or emotions or both.

The gym, it is a haven for most gay guys but for me, it's my second home in order for me to stay sane from the criticism and mistreatment of people who base their preferences on the physical aspect of man.

The gym, would you want to conform to society and all its idiosyncrasies and settings? Or, be you, just your unique you?

The Dribble on Rebound Guys

Late at night on the phone.
"This isn't working for us, I'm really sorry."

Line on the other end went dead.

Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep. The phone beeped to no end.

Lost myself in reality for two minutes.

"Shoot!" I'm still holding the damn phone on my ear.

Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep. The phone beeped to no end.

Placed the phone down and stared onto the space across the living room.

"It was for the best."

"It was for your best."

"It was for his best."

Stupid thoughts lingering inside my mind, dictating me what to do...

Snapped back to the real world again...

Took a long, deep breath... whew...

A tear fell under my right eye then another followed, now on my left.

Tears were already welling under my eyes then it formed a stream down my cheeks to my chin to my slightly distorted shorts.

"I'm gonna be fine." My brain told my heart while I'm still sobbing.

I'm gonna get through this. " Brain, you're getting kinda annoying.

I'm still sitting on the couch trying to organize my thoughts. Still in desolation and grief.

"I'm gonna find the person who will love me for me. " Stood up, brushed a little dust on my shoulders, wiped my tears dry with my shirt, threw them in the hamper and went to my room to get a clean, new, tear-less shirt in my closet.

"What will I do now?"

I went to my bed, saw my phone just lying there. "I might as well text someone." I told myself.

I thought of tons of people to text, broadcasting to them of my recent downfall but, "It just seems so wrong and too fast."

I lied on the bed, closed my eyes, rested for a bit, grabbed my phone, changed from supine to prone position and decided to text Guy 1...

"Hey, you free tomorrow night?" I texted without batting an eyelash.

Rested again, after a few minutes I heard my phone had a message (Patron Tequila by Paradiso Girls). :)

"Sorry dude, I have a dinner date tomorrow." He replied.

Didn't bother sending a reply, it doesn't matter. Scrolled down to my phonebook...aha, decided to text Guy 2.

"Dude, you free tomorrow at 8pm?"

Lied again on my bed on supine position. Waited.

"I'm on Patron Tequila me and my margarita..." phone rang.

"I can't dude, I'll be having dinner with my family." Replied Guy 2.

"Oh geez..." Feeling that I won't get anywhere, I decided to put my phone in my closet.

Walked towards the desktop computer and turned it on.

"Darn prehistoric Pentium 4 computer! It still needs a lot of time to boot."

Toot... sound coming from the CPU, ah yes, the sound of antique nearly obsolete technology.

Waited...Waited...still loading...still loading...

There! Finished! Clicked the Yahoo Messenger Icon, typed in my user name and password... I'm ready to roll...

Offline messages are such nuisance. Deleted them immediately. Scrolled my friends' list...

Down, down, down the list...

ASL? Messaged an anonymous person.

And here comes the best part.

People might not even know the definition of rebound guys but one thing is for sure, we have mostly encountered them. The sitcom Will and Grace introduced me to this very catching neo-gay term. Where Will dated a guy from the gym and his friend Jack dated another guy from the same gym, little do they know that these guys were actually partners before who recently broke up. In the end, Will got attached to the guy but the guy told him that he's sprucing things up with his former partner. Jack on the other hand was OK with it, no biggie. Rebound guys. What do they do? Where did they come from? Why do they appear? All interesting questions, all of them fairly easy to answer.

Rebound guys. No, they're not in most ways related to being a basketball player or an athlete. They're guys who you instantly meet after a break-up. They could be met right after the break-up or a day after the break-up.

They could be single, exclusively dating, committed, in a long-term partnership or even in a complicated set-up but one thing is for sure, they make themselves available.

Don't let this post make you judgmental, rebound guys aren't what you think they are.

And yes, primary reason gays coined the phrase rebound guys is because of sex, a one night stand just to temporarily erase the pain of a bad break-up or confusing closure or something in between BUT this is not always the case.

It's a matter of what you really need that time, someone to talk to in order for you to vent out your feelings, a break-up is not an easy thing to do in most cases so someone whom you can talk to is definitely an option.

Sex with rebounds? Sex is great! Hell, yeah great! But it doesn't last long enough for you to somehow express your feelings.
Well, the thing is rebound guys are either new acquaintances or old textmates so, it's really up to your MOTIVE agreed by the party involved.
So if we'll be instigating the word 'rebound guy' into a literal context, they have a bad connotation but if we look at the word in a technical perspective, we could clearly see that they are mainly playmates OR a person you could start something with IF that's what really is on your mind.

Who's the He and the She in a Gay Relationship?!

What the fuck! This was my initial reaction upon hearing Joy ask me this question. Personally, I was offended and thought of not talking to her anymore but the longer it lingered in my mind, the more I get what she's saying. I'm sure she didn't mean to offend me in a discriminating way. Straight people are interested on how we handle hetero things. I actually thought this was a very interesting topic, one that would excite neurons of people like us or PLU's.

From a perfect modern socio-cultural example, we see a couple made up normally of a man and a woman, they are a heterosexual couple. The man is the breadwinner: a man who is the foundation of the home where he and his wife live, a man who does the hard laborious chores like doing carpentry, fixing the clogged faucet, throwing the garbage, a man who works hard to earn a living to support their daily needs and wants. The woman on the other hand is the beacon of the house, one who does most of the light chores like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, preparing and serving the dinner, one who supports the household through working also. These are just typical roles a man and a woman performs in the society.

Now, in this modern society of ours where we can clearly see a bigger picture on the roles of homosexuals may they be in a relationship, living together or not. Gay guys will always be gay guys but the most important thing to consider is gender: Male. Whooops, for now, I won't include gay guys who wants to be women, because if I include them here, this will become an endless debate or worse, a heated argument about discrimination. Now that's out of the way let us go back to our main agenda... Male or anima or masculinity, we are all born male but the difference is that we like males too. :) The problem with society is that some ignoramuses about gay relationships dictate what gay relationship should be, case in point, it should have a female and male counterpart as resembling in a heterosexual relationship. But the thing is, it doesn't. We are males, dominatrix, possessive, powerful, pikon, sweet, matampuhin, thoughtful, jealous, torpe... we are all those and more, sure, there are some researches explaining that males and females have the anima (female) and animus (male) built instinctively within every individual. I don't think that being gay makes our anima more, nor do I think our femininity is increased. No research or science has proven such hypothesis. I am not afraid to say that I like to be courted, to be given extra attention, to be caressed, to be kissed, to be fondled, to feel butterflies in my stomach, to have kissmarks, and to have pleasure. Who doesn't right? I haven't met a gay guy who do wanna court but not be courted. but we just don't do it like how straight people do. We think out of the box and be creative because we fairly believe that flowers, chocolates, and teddy bears are so cliche and outdated. I wanna court someone also, believe me. I would like to give him everything his heart desires, offer him my affection and what not, impress him with what I can offer the world and especially to him, put my best, cleanest, neatest foot forward complete with a great pedicure and foot spa of course. Remember guys, it's all about give and take...it doesn't have to be a guy-girl relationship to make it work.

Some straight couples would also ponder how roles in the home is designated just in case they're co-habitating, I, if ever I would be co-habitating would presumably do the cleaning of the house, it goes well with my obsessive-compulsive personality plus I don't know anything about carpentry, fixing cars and plumbing. I don't think I would come out as the 'she' in the home just because I like to do what 'straight' females do. Instead I would just point out that these are what I do best and I guess I would stick to what I know.

For the point of extending this blog and discussion let's add roles in bed, being a top and a bottom guy...

Again, people of the straight variety would ask this question, they would deliberately ask this because they are oh-so curious and oh-so interested with what we do especially in bed. "What are you, a top or a bottom?" asked my ever curious friend Joy. I would just smile at her and keep my mouth shut. Top or bottom, it doesn't matter because there will be reversal of roles with let's say a versatile guy. So even if you say you're a Pure Top or a Pure Bottom or a Top versa or a Bottom versa, it's still a choice. Your choice. Top guys are usually seen as the 'lalake' in the society, they are the more masculine, the more powerful between the partner. Bottom guys are seen as the 'babae', the one who wants to be entered, the more feminine-acting, the more sensitive or soft. Believe me, this is a very prejudice notion. I have lived nearly 6 years already as a gay guy and I still have problems identifying the Top and the Bottom in a gay couple. The top=male and bottom=female is an imposed idea of what straight people think of us. Try to explain them that this is not always the case nor will it be really the case. Bed-role preference is something we are more blessed than straight people, don't you think? :)

Anyway, to cap off this post, I would just like to say there is no such thing as a he and a she in a gay relationship as far as most gay guys are concerned, both males need not conform to what society dictates because after all, we are being true with the color blue and we are also unique with a touch of pink.

The Bad Side of a Good-looker

From what I had experienced from dating good-looking gay guys, I'm pretty sure some of you could relate to this post of mine so bear with me as we get a low-down on how they think.

Headturners are not complete without their imperfections, of course they are usually hidden underneath because from our point of view, physically, they are nearly perfect. But hypothetically let us try to dissect them and take a closer inspection in their emotional aspect of living...

You guys ready?

Let's start!

Primarily, what I distinctly noticed about them is their insecurity. Once, I dated a guy who kept on asking me if he really looks good that time, does he look fat or is the guy sitting next to us look cuter than him. Frankly, I was getting a bit annoyed from his questions. I really wanted to answer him that: one, yes, you do look good like I wanna kiss you in front of the people just to show you how much you oh-so-look-darn-good. Two, no, you definitely don't look fat because if you are then what do you think of me? A snowman who just breathes and smiles at you? and Three, I'm sorry, the guy sitting next to you is way out of our league. Hehehe...just kidding, of course I'm not a bad a** because it's a date and because I'm such a goody two shoes when it comes to dates. The only thing I was thinking that time is if that's really relevant to ask from me? Hey, I'm no dating guru and I'm not Dr. Love but I do have a pretty good idea what are the basic do's and dont's of dating or perhaps meeting a person. People like him worry about themselves too much, they think society can and will control them, they think primary conviction will come from the majority of people he usually interacts and they need sincere assurance from the masses that they do stand out. The last statement is a bit ironic but hey, being gay means irony at a different level.

Now, this insecurity with their physicality, it actually emanates from their emotions. Most likely, he had a major rejection maybe from his parents, friends, colleagues or some other people significant to him. This physical insecurity is an outward expression. This physical insecurity is a displacement of his feelings. We can't blame him though as we might not know how bad the experience was but, the best thing for us to do is support them in a POSITIVE way.
Second, I also noticed a high level of sensitivity and this is not your typical 'balat-sibuyas', fine, onion-skinned sensitivity. They do get ticked off, pissed off, infuriated sometimes by the slightest joke or ridicule. And when they do get pissed off, they either storm out on you like an actor in a telenovela in a heated discussion with the leading lady or they stay so silent that they don't utter a word up to the point of not even opening their mouths. Now, what I usually do to warm him up and stop the cold treatment is to try and cuddle with him if in a private place or I just try my best to explain that what I said is just a joke and not to be taken seriously. If still, he doesn't warm up or reciprocate from what I'm doing...I stop.
There's REALLY, REALLY no point in explaining to a person who is angry because at that time and that state of mind, his ego or pleasure principle will be the one to rule over him. It's his thinking of 'what I do is for myself is right' action that is overcoming his emotions. His sensitivity comes from a lot of factors from a harsh or abrasive environment to over-protective parents or siblings to a break-up gone wrong and none disclosure.

Of course these statements may not be 100% since we people do believe in case to case basis but nonetheless, these are my keen observations. Stay tuned!

Can A Headturner Really Have The World?

I have met guys that I can justifiably attest as attractive. Relating to the laws of attraction especially in the gay world, I am hooked-up with these types of guys. Salivating over them is inappropriate maybe lusting is a more politically correct term. :) I admit it, I treasure a good-looking boyfriend as if I've won a multi-million lottery jackpot. And I'm also afraid to say that I treat him like prized trophy worthy to be displayed, complimented by flattering words of awesomeness and with pride. Sadly, from my experiences and my perspective, I fail having a relationship with them.

Why? First off, they're high maintenance, they just can't be seen going anywhere from a small-time mall to a cheapo restaurant or even a nearby little gym. They know they are elite so they only deserve the best. I do understand what they're thinking or a small part of how they think.

Second, they're too proud of themselves. Try a hot air balloon with eyes, nose and mouth as an example. Hey, there is a FINE LINE between confidence and boastfulness. They brag about people they have met, dated and dumped. Broke hearts of numerous guys who courted them till tears welled up from their tear ducts.

Lastly, what I noticed about them is that they're very smooth talkers. Like everything that comes out of their mouth are facts and every time they say something good or noticeable about you... BOOM! You get caught in a frenzy of shock, awe and mesmerized. You instantly get so interested with him. Isn't flattery such a fiend? Seriously, they can talk their way out of a sticky situation and come out as a heroine complete with a cape, tightly-fitted costume and a smile that could melt you, literally. Also, there would be occasions where they are very persuasive like a salesman trying to let me purchase a gadget or an item BUT the difference between them is that with the former, I could decline and give a resounding NO but with the latter, the moment I look into his angelic face and he smiles at me...shoot! I'm going to treat you for lunch and dinner dude, where do you wanna eat?  


Headturners in the gay world really has the advantage of being someone powerful even if they're not intellectual or not a good conversationalist. They belong to the top part of the food chain hence their egos and popularity. Average-looking guys regard them as an icon, a royalty bound to rule them with mercy. I know I may be stereotyping but this is based on my experience, what I went through with these type of guys. Let me ask you this, would you rather have the most gorgeous, buffed, fittest guy symbolized by a glimmering, shining trophy or a certificate for having a boyfriend who has average looks but loves you deeply for who you really are? 


Like what they say, the world is your oyster, IF you're a gay headturner. :)