Elyu

“Hi G. Kamusta ka na?”

A random message suddenly popped from the screen last Friday.

I checked who it was. It was the guy whom I dated for the first half of 2017.

The guy who was one of the reasons why I saw a shrink.

To give you a glimpse of our history: we were dating for several months, I thought everything was doing awesome and great. Heck, I thought he was perfect.

And then we were vacationing in La Union and found out that he was actually in a 5-year relationship with someone in Singapore.

You could just imagine the air between the two of us while we were returning from our supposed vacation. Those three hours were pure self-pity.

That broke me down. I was crying almost daily. I was torturing myself daily on the “what ifs” and “whys”.

And I had the greatest difficulty moving on and accepting the fact.

But after a year, I have realized how sad he was. That having someone far away from you can be a great challenge. Malungkot siya kaya siya naghanap ng makakasama. Naintindihan ko na siya.

I reread his message again. I wondered what he wants from me this time.

And then I started replying...

“Hi, I am doing perfectly fine. Ikaw, kamusta ka na? How are you and your partner? Asa Singapore pa rin ba siya? Kailan mo na siya susundan para naman hindi kayo malayo sa isa’t-isa? How are your parents? Na-enjoy niyo ba ang bakasyon niyo sa Canada? Mag-kape tayo minsan if you’re still around the area. Balitaan mo ako ha. Salamat!"

I smiled at binasa ko ulit ang aking mensahe.

Alam kong naibigay ko ang lahat ng aking makakaya. Walang duda.

Binura ko ang aking mensahe para sa kanya at pagkatapos ay ang kanyang mensahe.

Alam niyang okay na ako at alam ko rin na okay siya. Iwanan na natin ito doon.

Napatawad ko na ang sarili ko kaya napatawad ko na rin siya…





"Isn't that why people write - to gain a better understanding of themselves and the world? - Daniel Sempere, The Labyrinth of the Spirits by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

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