I have always considered myself a simple type of guy when it comes to looking for a partner. I don't really care what he looks like as long as he is presentable to people. But that is really where the irony of life begins...we all have our ideal boyfriends: from the tall to the buff, from the fair-skinned to lean, from the goal-driven corporate executive to the very independent individual.
While I was realizing that, "Well, hey I'm not that simple after all" moment, I also realized how my standards just changed from the simple to the totally ridiculous. And somehow it made me more confused than ever.
Walking through the years as a gay man with different partners made me see the spectrum and the timeline of what I want an individual to be my partner: one moment I want him to be like this, the next second I want someone to be like this. It's insane.
When I was younger, things were simpler: chat with someone, meet, perhaps hook-up, and then make him your partner. That was the yesteryear. Now it's all different. Everyone seems to have upped their ante. And I mean everyone, gays and straights alike.
They say what we look for in a partner, the ones we lack. And somehow, and just recently, I believe that is a fact.
And so while Grindr was 'all fun and games until someone gets emotionally attached', I have deleted the application yet again. I figured my standards in looking for a partner were all just piling up like trash, and pretty soon, no one will ever meet the criteria.
So I ask you, are you happy with yourself and your self-imposed standards?
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Hi, G. My standards piled up like trash too. Until I realize it's not standards that I have to stick to but the non-negotiables. Like that the man should not feel weird when we walk together on a street. It varies from one person to another and many times non-negotiables are weird stuff.
ReplyDeleteAnd then we life surprises us by introducing a person who's perfectly fine and comfortable with the non-negotiables.
What am I saying here.
Ah, how interesting Yas - non-negotiables.
DeleteYou seem to be basing this from a past experience, I presume?
When I was in college and dreaming to get a boyfriend I remembered wanting an engineer or a doctor perhaps. I got what I wanted and got screwed. Now that I'm 30, it all boils down to a few basic things:
ReplyDeleteI'm still all for the moreno-kalbo-mukhang-nambubugbog
someone who can look good regardless of age
someone confident
someone with a decent sexual appetite
someone who has a job and can pay for his own
Abs still look good but seldom delivers in the fucking department.
Your dick gets inside me, not your abs.
:) I can totally relate to this. Over the years my standards have been supersized :) To the point where I only get a few to choose from but you know what they say "low prices attract many customers" so I think having standards would still be best to stay safe :)
ReplyDeletesafe from what?
Deletebasta ako I believe in chemistry. yung spiritual bond niyo and connection is so deep na he even understands your silence. ganun.
ReplyDeleteNote: Chemistry not Compatibility.