Diary of a Boy - Entry 2

"Hi Beans, how are you doing?" I continued.

"I am doing okay, G. I am glad. :)" He replied.

"Why are you glad if I may ask?"

"Because you texted me."

"Of course I would. Why wouldn't I? ;)"

"Well, I thought you were really aloof in the club. I thought you wouldn't even talk to me."

"Haha. Sorry. I am just like that inside clubs. I don't really smile much. But I am really friendly. I swear!"

"Were you alone that time?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I like to be alone when I go out. It gives me a sense of isolation." "How about you? Were you alone that time?" I added.

"I was with my friends. I belong to a clan."

"I see."

"Do you have one?"

"None."

"Why not?"

"Well to tell you the truth Beans, I see clans as a waste of time. Boys who have nothing productive to do than have eyeballs, meet new people, and taste each other."

"That's not all true but I do hope we could be friends, G."

"I don't see why not Beans."

Beans was still in College then. He was taking the same course as I took up. He is an intelligent boy with the looks to boot too. After our meeting in the club, it was not until eight months later that I would be meeting him again...even when I was already committed with someone.



I still cannot believe I committed again. It was such a long time since I said 'yes'. I can still remember my last ex who'll be leaving for Abu Dhabi soon...

I can still remember the last night we slept together in his place. My back against his back. I was sobbing. I tried not to but the tears just flowed from my eyes. I'm a cry baby and I admit that.

"Am I not worth it?" I asked him while my tears were slowly sliding from my cheeks to his pillow.

"You have to understand, it's not that I don't love you, I do, but I have to do this for me and for my family."

And then he left a few weeks after. My heart was still aching but perhaps that was for the best.

We left our conversation there. No goodbyes. No waving at the airport. Nothing.

And so I committed with Louie after being single for nearly two years. Me. In love. Again.

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