A Held Promise

"Are you serious?" I slightly jolted out of my stuporous state when he told me that.

"Yes, I am." He looked at me and started combing my hair again with his fingers.

"So how did it go with you and him?" I asked.

I was curious.

"We were happy."

Were. Past tense. Words we sometimes dread with partners, with life.

"We were very flexible bottoms." He smiled and then laughed a little.

I saw him, genuine. I smiled back and closed my eyes once more.

"We became a couple last December of 2011. I let him stay here. We lived together."

Lived.

"Isn't your sister living with you then?" I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"She was still studying in our province back then." Em replied.

"I see."

"From December to March we were a live-in couple and it was great. Sure, we had some ups and downs but nothing too serious." He inched closer to my space.

"And then suddenly he left..."

"Did you ask the reason?"

"No. He told me he needs time and that he will return. Come back better. Perhaps."

"And you believed him, Em?"

"I had to G. Because I believed in him. And because I know he is a good person."

"Just like you." I added.

"Thanks." He weakly smiled.

"So what happened?"

"From March, the time he left, I tried communicating with him - texts, calls, e-mails - but to no avail. I was getting hopeless. And of course, I have needs..."

"So no dates since March when he left?"

"None. I stayed single. No dates. No s*x. I didn't go out with anyone nor sleep with anyone. In my heart, I believed. I swear."

"I believe you."

"And then October came and finally realized that he won't return. That I was just fooling myself thinking that I would stay single for him, for the one who left me." His voice had a tone of sadness. "I called him up and bluntly asked him, 'Can I date now?' and 'Yes' was his answer."

"Okay was his answer and disconnected the call."

"And that was it G. That was the end. The official break-up."

"I see. How did you feel?"

"Honestly? Sad, as all break-ups are, but relieved. Very."

"That is good to know..." I stroked his short hair and hugged him.

"Five months after, I found out he was cheating on me."

"Wait, five months after the official break-up through the phone?"

"Yes."

"How did you know?"

"Well I was feeling 'it' that night and had searched through guys who may be eligible. And then when I finally found him, we texted and agreed he'd go to my place. I was excited because for months I abstained, and then here comes a guy who I would sleep with for the first time in months."

"I know how that feels!" I said, excitedly.

"And when he finally came in my unit, he was shocked. Really shocked."

"And I asked him why?"

And that's when he told me the whole story..."

"That my ex actually was inviting him at my unit when we decided to live together. The ex told the guy that he was living with his brother. G, every single one of the things inside the unit, he knows where it's located. Every single one. Furniture even. All the times I thought we were doing well, he was actually cheating."

I looked at him. His expression was calm.

"Can you imagine G? He knows my unit. He knows where my things are. He knows the place."

"So in the end, we just talked. I wasn't feeling angry at my ex anymore at that time because I told you, I just felt relieved."

"No s*x then?" I tried to lighten the conversation.

"Of course not anymore!" He jokingly replied.

And then he laughed whole-heartedly as if to tell himself that it will be alright.


"If you're happy in a dream, does that count?" - Estha, The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy





Part 3