Club Emo

Recently, there has been a wave of club songs for the drama kings which you might find interesting:

1) Clarity by Zedd. Ah yes, Clarity is that song where you're confused about a person. Should you leave or stay? Would it be futile or fruitful in the end? Listen to it, it's got a nice medium tempo.

"If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy? If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?"

2) Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris. One of my absolute favorite. The first time I heard it I got hooked up immediately. Who wouldn't? I mean we meet guys, fall for them, only to find out they're not actually into being exclusive more so into commitments.

3) Just One Last Time by David Guetta. This song I just downloaded this week, and boy is it a good song or what? Nothing beats Guetta splashed with a little emo for a twist.

4) Finally Found You by Enrique Iglesias. This song together with the song above are the latest I have downloaded for my music collection. I am not sure how long they have been playing over the airwaves but it's just now I got to hear them. Or I just forgot that I may have heard them earlier. Oh well. Man, this song is so upbeat and the lyrics are top-notch. Protecting the one you truly love, whatever it takes. You may think it's corny and mushy - well it is - but the point is, it's a good song when you're feeling down.

5) Stay by Rihanna feat Bass King Remix. Okay, not necessarily a club/house song per se that's why I added the Bass King. This song tells a lot of how a person deals with someone he really treasures but people just feel that person is not for you. Against all odds. Wonderful song, really.

One common denominator: Relatable.

Last Try

In a trance of disbelief.

I read the message again. Again and again.

"It couldn't be." I softly muttered to myself. "How can that be, Rob?" I read the last lines as if I couldn't understand it. Wouldn't understand it.

It was painful. I could never compare it with anything else.

But that's the problem with optimism sometimes, denial wants to kick in and you lose touch of what's there in front of you, the reality.

"Rob, please, let's start all over again."

"I don't know G..."

"Well at least make me up for lost time."

I wasn't thinking logically, reasonably. All the time I was just thinking: we have to make it work, I have to.

"Okay G. :)"

"Thank you."

Valentine's Day ended well for me and it felt really good.

Not a day passed without me thinking of him - his work, his muay thai practices, his family - everything. But no text was sent to him. I was still hoping he would make the effort, the initiative to at least show that somehow, he still cares the slightest bit.

No text was received as well.

A week passed and now my anxiety kicked in.

I texted him the boldest inquiry I have ever made: "Do you still think about me, Robbie?"

Those words conveyed desperation. But that was what I was at that moment in time.

I waited for an hour, then hours, then a day passed by.

And then...

"I do, I do think about you but it's not how it used to be, G."

And finally, as I read the text, I half-smiled and accepted the fact.

"Thanks." I replied.




Part 2

Last Try

It was Valentine's Day. Everyone seemed happy, perky. It seemed everyone is in a good mood.

I wasn't. It felt weird. I know I shouldn't be but I really did.

"I miss Robbie." I murmured to myself upon waking up at 19:00.

I was in mental torture; in constant confusion. I wanted to talk to him, even just through text to know what happened, or for a better question, why it happened?

Getting out of bed, my head felt heavy and my heart, heavier. I forced myself to wake up and eat dinner but my appetite is in rebound of wanting and not wanting to eat.

"Should I or shouldn't I?" There was a battle of pride inside me.

I kept pacing maniacally around the house going through the living room to the kitchen - back and forth, back and forth.

After a few minutes I asked Vince of his number.

"Hey Vince, can I ask for Robbie's number?"

"Sure G, hold on." He replied.

"Thanks."

A few minutes of waiting and I received it through business card.

Still in doubt but gulped my pride.

"Happy Valentine's Robbie."

"Hey G, same to you too! :)"

"How have you been?"

"I am good. Busy finishing some papers."

"I see."

"How is your Valentine's Day so far, G?"

"Well I just woke up. Stayed at home because I have work tonight. You?"

"Went out with friends and had dinner. :)"

"That is good to know Robbie. I am happy for you."

And suddenly I felt the need to ask him the question I have been saving up for when we meet.

"Hey Robbie, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure I'm getting you."

"What happened between us? I thought we were okay?"

"Well G when you said goodbye I thought that was it. It would be better for us to stop it. I think it was better that way."

I think it was better that way.

Those seven words resonated like glass crashing into millions of precious pieces to the ground.

My emotions were at a standstill.




Part 1