Of Dating And Dealing
"I really think we have something." Kane told me over the phone last Saturday.
"But I had been single for so long that it became innate for me to live singly." He continued.
"But," I interjected. "But you know I felt that it made you a better person. It made you stronger, more independent."
"Well yeah that is true."
"I have something to ask, if you don't mind."
"Sure."
"Do you think you want to be committed just because or because you really felt something in him?"
"You know G," Kane spoke softly, "For the longest time I have not been committed and you know that. But with him, I feel I can commit...But..."
"Did I hear a but?" I joked.
We giggled.
"You know me G, I still have boys. I don't know if I can be, uhm, faithful."
"There's the word that I was looking for. You know once you say yes to him there will be no other numbers of boys from Grindr. You have to delete EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM." I half-heartedly emphasized.
"OMG! As in, EVERY. ONE. OF. THEM?"
"Yes. Unfortunately."
We laughed hysterically.
"So take your pick, you always have the option Kane. The upper hand is yours."
"We'll see G. We'll see. Well, I gotta go. We'll be seeing a play by 2. Talk to you soon."
"Have fun and enjoy."
Boys. They are everywhere. You see potential everywhere but most of them are just that, potential. As I walked home from our conversation I looked at my phonebook. I looked at the guys I have saved from Grindr. Each and every one of them, a potential. And sometimes, you can't even figure out who is who anymore. I browsed and I saw Jay, Jayjay, another Jay so I put his pseudonym beside, then Jervy, then John, John T., Jon, Joshua, Julius, James, James Vincent, two Daryls, Dean, Derick, Dan, a Rico, a Ryan, a Ron, Al, Albert, Arturo, also Marc, Mark, Mon.
There are a lot of names but frankly, only one-tenth of them I have met and the rest are just a constant reminder why I am still single.
And when the time comes that I'm ready to love again, these guys, these random and multiple guys will be out of my phonebook for good.
For that is a party boy's vow.
But for now...well...they're good for something.
"But I had been single for so long that it became innate for me to live singly." He continued.
"But," I interjected. "But you know I felt that it made you a better person. It made you stronger, more independent."
"Well yeah that is true."
"I have something to ask, if you don't mind."
"Sure."
"Do you think you want to be committed just because or because you really felt something in him?"
"You know G," Kane spoke softly, "For the longest time I have not been committed and you know that. But with him, I feel I can commit...But..."
"Did I hear a but?" I joked.
We giggled.
"You know me G, I still have boys. I don't know if I can be, uhm, faithful."
"There's the word that I was looking for. You know once you say yes to him there will be no other numbers of boys from Grindr. You have to delete EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM." I half-heartedly emphasized.
"OMG! As in, EVERY. ONE. OF. THEM?"
"Yes. Unfortunately."
We laughed hysterically.
"So take your pick, you always have the option Kane. The upper hand is yours."
"We'll see G. We'll see. Well, I gotta go. We'll be seeing a play by 2. Talk to you soon."
"Have fun and enjoy."
Boys. They are everywhere. You see potential everywhere but most of them are just that, potential. As I walked home from our conversation I looked at my phonebook. I looked at the guys I have saved from Grindr. Each and every one of them, a potential. And sometimes, you can't even figure out who is who anymore. I browsed and I saw Jay, Jayjay, another Jay so I put his pseudonym beside, then Jervy, then John, John T., Jon, Joshua, Julius, James, James Vincent, two Daryls, Dean, Derick, Dan, a Rico, a Ryan, a Ron, Al, Albert, Arturo, also Marc, Mark, Mon.
There are a lot of names but frankly, only one-tenth of them I have met and the rest are just a constant reminder why I am still single.
And when the time comes that I'm ready to love again, these guys, these random and multiple guys will be out of my phonebook for good.
For that is a party boy's vow.
But for now...well...they're good for something.
I so love this. -> "Boys. They are everywhere. You see potential everywhere but most of them are just that, potential."
ReplyDeletego lang, G. i-enjoy mo lang ang mga boys.. :) commit when you're ready.. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd boys, boys, boys, we love them, we love them.
ReplyDeleteAndami ba nila G? Nakakalito?
oooh..how timely to see this entry.
ReplyDeletehaha well this is what i felt before committing but then after 21 months of relationship i think i have made the biggest sacrifice ever i mean to let all the girls i flirted with hahaha
ReplyDeletei love this part! :) "And when the time comes that I'm ready to love again, these guys, these random and multiple guys will be out of my phonebook for good.
ReplyDeleteFor that is a party boy's vow.
But for now...well...they're good for something."