Of Truth

Free people don't know the value of freedom, that's the problem. - Balram Halwai, The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

Three Hours

"I want to help." I told Dean out of the blue.

"I said I want to help you clean out your condo." I repeated.

He looked at me with a little surprise in his eyes.

"When?" I asked.

"Next week? How about Saturday?" He replied.

"Sounds perfect."

And gave him a huge smile.

"What time is it?"

"It's nearly our time G."

But he continued. "After we broke up, we talked inside the car. 'So, somebody will seat on the passenger side other than me.' I gave the whole drama."

"You know what's his reply?"

"What?"

"Everyone needs to move on. I have."

My face turned sad, even lonely. Nobody deserves to hear something like that. Something as cold as that.

I hugged him again.

"I only used you Dean. Didn't you see it before? I was following your tracks because I want to outdo you." The ex told him.

"Three and a half years G. I told him I don't believe him. Not at all."

I tried to scrutinize him. There was denial written all over his face. Perhaps deep inside, there were signs of betrayal. But he was madly in love. He couldn't care less.

I nodded. "Dean, I think we need to prepare."

"Sure. Let me just shower." And gave me a peck on the cheek.

After a few minutes we went out of the room.

"So G, I'll keep you posted. We'll clean the place."

"Sure thing Dean. You know my schedule."

"I do. Thanks." And we hugged.

I waved goodbye as we headed to different directions.

And he stopped communicating since.



Part 3

The FuBu Golden Rule

Know when to keep your distance.

Three Hours

"He was my agent. I was the team lead. I was attracted to him and well, I think the attraction was mutual."

"One time, I was the only one left in our house so I decided to ask him to sleep over. That was May 1st 2009."

My eyes were just glued to his face. You know that moment where a person's story just makes you forget of everything around you? That was that same moment.

"He said 'okay'. I couldn't believe it. I felt happy, very, at that time. I was so happy I doubted his reply. So I asked him: 'Are you sure?'"

"Yes." His ex-boyfriend replied.

"So he went over to my place, and the next day, May 2nd, I asked him if we could be partners. And he said yes."

"I couldn't believe it G. A playboy who turned gay and then venturing into that world, I was happy with him. Truly happy that my life revolved around him. He knows that. I never did anything to ruin our relationship."

His voice turned sour. I expected that. When you give your life to a person and take them for granted, it's something you wouldn't want to experience ever again.

"I bought a condo. It was an investment. I let him live there. We lived there as a couple. He didn't pay a single cent. And the car? I gave that to him. I even bought him a phone on our last month together, an Xperia Arc. That's why I was asking you what your phone is. I know, I shouldn't be telling you these but..."

He stopped for a brief moment and looked somewhere else.

"It's actually been two months since I had been there. I don't know how it looks like anymore."

"How come you haven't been there in such a long time?" I finally asked.

"He bought some of the appliances and furniture there and the mere thought of seeing them takes me back to those times of..."

Dean broke his sentence in mid-air again. I held his left hand. I thought that was the right thing to do.

"That guy. The current boyfriend. I don't blame him but I am pretty sure he knows my ex has a boyfriend. His cellphone's wallpaper is the two of us plus our pictures are all over his cubicle."

He breathed deeply and made a deep sigh.

I held his hand tighter.

"So the guy, where did he find him?" I inquired. There was no subtle way to ask.

"We all work in the same floor. The guy is an agent. My ex, a team lead then. And I am in the Operations."

"Oh..."

"So everyday, I see them together. Like how we used to be. I am okay now G. It used to be very awkward but I am okay now."

But you know what, his expressions tell a different story.



Part 2

Three Hours

"If we get back together, how can you be sure I won't cheat on you again." Dean told me while we were lying down in bed that Saturday night.

He was telling me what his first boyfriend told him. His first and last ex boyfriend, for now.

Dean and I got to know each other through that popular application named Grindr. We decided to meet up about two weeks after communicating.

"We were together for three and a half years. Living together for three and a half years." He told me while I rested my head in his chest.

"I was a playboy. In high school and college, I had girlfriends. I used to play a lot. I even got one girl pregnant and I didn't take the responsibility. I guess it's just karma, G." His voice had a hint of sarcasm.

"I don't think it's karma Dean." I quickly told him.

"It's just so unreal that for your last day together, for the first time in our relationship, he taught me how to drive." He looked into my eyes. I saw them in its most vulnerable state - eyes of pity. I immediately looked away.

"And then he broke up with me the next day." He continued.

I felt his sadness. That pinch of hurt you just couldn't remove easily.

He was cheated. His partner apparently dated another guy on same production floor as his. Dean was in love. He felt they were rumors.

A day after they broke up, he confirmed it through their circle of friends.

They were already two weeks in the relationship.

"So now I understand why you need to leave the company." I told Dean sincerely.

"Yes. I see them everyday, the two of them. It hurts. It's painful G. It really is. To see them like there was nothing left for me. I have to go. I love the company but I have to leave." We shifted positions then and hugged side by side. "My boss tells me I shouldn't leave, I don't have to. They're the ones who stabbed me anyway, but I told her it's not that easy." He continued.

I couldn't utter a single word. I was left speechless by his story. So I let him proceed...




Part 1