Her Name Is Charlene
And I squeezed her hand, tightly. Enough to let her know how hard it will be.
She looked into my eyes with regret, an inevitable regret.
My eyes welling up to the sides. It took me only a minute to let out my emotion.
She understood yet finally let go of the force that had been holding her back.
With one last look at each other, we hugged and that was the last time I saw her.
Except that did not really happen.
By the time she went off aboard the plane, I had work and it was difficult to see her leave.
But we both knew it was for the best.
Charlene had never been that typical girl. She was never typical.
She was not the prettiest nor the smartest nor the most aggressive but she makes up for it when she speaks her mind.
Although her love for philosophies is something unmatchable up to this date.
Jean-Paul Sartre, Immanuel Kant, St. Thomas Aquinas were just the few that she had always been fond of discussing to people. She could go on and on debating over what these philosophers had put up and never got tired.
Her position on unconditional love is the most memorable, how she would even cite the best examples to emphasize stories of such. Impressive.
She also wants to taste all the cakes the world has to offer!
Undeniably she loved eating cakes, she would taste everything she sees - with chocolate, with fruits, with cream, with liquor - her eyes would glisten preciously every time she would see a cake shop. She is worse than a kid staring outside a candy store, drooling.
Her knack for Japanese Anime had always been quite weird.
She became an obsessive fan, one that can not even be bothered of school works or patient care plans when she is in the zone. Forget it, she would go ballistic if you take her away in front of their television.
What also sets her apart is when young adults her age started ogling over boys, make-up and clothes, she would just shrug off the ideas and get on with her life. Nonchalance at its finest.
Although her personal strength made me draw to her more. Charlene never had a good childhood past, she was always teased a lot, picked on a lot and had been humiliated several times for being somewhat of an outcast. Now most would think she would grow up either to be a dark child or perhaps be ashamed of herself, but she did not. She grew up to be one fine, young and marvelous woman albeit lacking sophistication and style. Nevertheless, she matured physically and emotionally fast.
Her perseverance to make it to the top is something I idolized about her too! She never got the highest grades, sometimes even struggling by a concept but she would gracefully, non-ostentatiously, convincingly pick herself up and study until she gets to the most complex ones. Well, of course, there's her Anime to perk her up.
The will she has is remarkable. She can be a push over but when she already makes her decision, she will stick to it no matter what the circumstances are. Her assuringly, convicting and persuasive voice will definitely win once someone disagrees.
Sometimes, I think would she have stayed here in the country, then life would be a lot easier for both of us. We always were there for each other, even up to a point of scrubbing each others' backs but for all I know she could have mustered all that she can to face the realities of living independently by being on the west side of the world, caring for the sick, dying and the elderly. And staying there for good.
But I know she will always have a best friend here in the east waiting for her if she comes back. For good. :)
"Migrants, I think are never whole, never completely in one place. Ours is a fractured existence." - Caridad, The Last Time I Saw Mother by Arlene J. Chai
She looked into my eyes with regret, an inevitable regret.
My eyes welling up to the sides. It took me only a minute to let out my emotion.
She understood yet finally let go of the force that had been holding her back.
With one last look at each other, we hugged and that was the last time I saw her.
Except that did not really happen.
By the time she went off aboard the plane, I had work and it was difficult to see her leave.
But we both knew it was for the best.
Charlene had never been that typical girl. She was never typical.
She was not the prettiest nor the smartest nor the most aggressive but she makes up for it when she speaks her mind.
Words flowing out of her lips is nowhere near nonsense.Every word, every phrase, every sentence connotes meaning.
Sure, she is very, very awkward with people but that is also one of the best characteristics I loved about her. The way she starts having a hard time emphasizing what she meant, priceless. Awkward yet a beautiful one.
Although her love for philosophies is something unmatchable up to this date.
Jean-Paul Sartre, Immanuel Kant, St. Thomas Aquinas were just the few that she had always been fond of discussing to people. She could go on and on debating over what these philosophers had put up and never got tired.
Her position on unconditional love is the most memorable, how she would even cite the best examples to emphasize stories of such. Impressive.
She also wants to taste all the cakes the world has to offer!
Undeniably she loved eating cakes, she would taste everything she sees - with chocolate, with fruits, with cream, with liquor - her eyes would glisten preciously every time she would see a cake shop. She is worse than a kid staring outside a candy store, drooling.
Her knack for Japanese Anime had always been quite weird.
She became an obsessive fan, one that can not even be bothered of school works or patient care plans when she is in the zone. Forget it, she would go ballistic if you take her away in front of their television.
What also sets her apart is when young adults her age started ogling over boys, make-up and clothes, she would just shrug off the ideas and get on with her life. Nonchalance at its finest.
Although her personal strength made me draw to her more. Charlene never had a good childhood past, she was always teased a lot, picked on a lot and had been humiliated several times for being somewhat of an outcast. Now most would think she would grow up either to be a dark child or perhaps be ashamed of herself, but she did not. She grew up to be one fine, young and marvelous woman albeit lacking sophistication and style. Nevertheless, she matured physically and emotionally fast.
Her perseverance to make it to the top is something I idolized about her too! She never got the highest grades, sometimes even struggling by a concept but she would gracefully, non-ostentatiously, convincingly pick herself up and study until she gets to the most complex ones. Well, of course, there's her Anime to perk her up.
The will she has is remarkable. She can be a push over but when she already makes her decision, she will stick to it no matter what the circumstances are. Her assuringly, convicting and persuasive voice will definitely win once someone disagrees.
Sometimes, I think would she have stayed here in the country, then life would be a lot easier for both of us. We always were there for each other, even up to a point of scrubbing each others' backs but for all I know she could have mustered all that she can to face the realities of living independently by being on the west side of the world, caring for the sick, dying and the elderly. And staying there for good.
But I know she will always have a best friend here in the east waiting for her if she comes back. For good. :)
"Migrants, I think are never whole, never completely in one place. Ours is a fractured existence." - Caridad, The Last Time I Saw Mother by Arlene J. Chai
pinoy diaspora.
ReplyDeletecheers to nurses and caregivers and friendship.
i bet charlene is filthy rich now
i thought she was your ex.
ReplyDeleteit's comforting to know that when we go away, there'll be people waiting for us back home. you're a good friend. :)
*orally - I bet she is but she's still a cheap skate! Damn frugal girl.
ReplyDelete*engel - I wish! Well, I did ask her to be a surrogate which she obviously declined. She's one of those friends I'd like to keep here. Forever.
(points to the chest)
aw. so nice of you guyrony! :)
ReplyDeletei bet she'll do great there :D
my bestfriend since high school is planning to leave for the UK early next year. like your friend, she's a nurse.
ReplyDeleteit's sad that things like this happens. it's worse than a break up with an ex. or the death of an estranged relative.
i'm hoping you still have contact with Charlene. I know she misses you too.
*my-so-called-Quest - she is. She had always been a very caring and loving person. Related or non-related to her.
ReplyDelete*nOx - I know how you feel. We know it's so selfish for us to make them stay but everyone needs to find a path of their own...here's the thing, true friends will stay friends no matter where you are. :)