To Be Discontinued

 Part II

Il fait fatigue.

Tres fatigue.

Je ne sais pas.

I thought it would be a better walk in the park this time.

Oh boy! Das stimmt gar nicht.

Four weeks after discontinuing my Venlafaxin, I am feeling the brunt.

To be fair, there are some advantages like taking one less medication per day.

Bad, intrusive thoughts come also less, less often than before.

But Mann-o-meter. I am not in my optimal condition.

I feel lightly disoriented, a bit forgetful, and a bit unsystematic.

Ultra-sensitive, easily irritated, easily disappointed, a bit pessimistic.

My eating disorder made a comeback! That I haven`t experienced for a few years as well.

Anger issues ravel every now and then. I am near exploding, to be honest.

Ganito na ba karami mga tangang tao sa mundo?!

Juice-colored.

Chour.

And this komisches Gefühl.

This, this indescribable feeling, not like Jasmine was singing.

I`ll spare you the details...

Jokes aside, I am trying to keep it within me and still trying to turn everything into positive.

And I sometimes wonder, have I always been this krank?

Like I always thought this started around 2017, but I feel it had began longer.

But you know what, at the end of the day, I still am thankful for everything.

Last Tuesday we had a supervision with the Nurse Manager and his Assistant Manager.

They gave out some random card for us to answer: Was ist dein Lieblingszitat? Steht dort.

"Anything is Possible" hab ich beantwortet.

"Alles ist möglich, entweder etwas gut oder etwas schlechtes."

And so is life, whether something good or bad happens, you have to be there, most probably for yourself, sometimes for others, too.

You have yourself to be thankful for everything. I mean everything that comes in your way.

Whatever the appearance, it is our own mind.

Mind`s nature transcends concepts since primeval timr.

Attributes of something grasped and one grasping to.

Not to form in mind is what bodhisattvas do.

"And IIIII, thank you!"