Le Present Paradox

"Wala..."

Kinapa ko ang bulsa ng jacket ko.

"Wala talaga..."

Kinapa ko ulit.

Pero tumutugtog pa yung kanta eh...

After a few minutes of alighting from the train, the music went dead.

Nanakawan ako ng phone.

So I panicked.

The grapes that I bought fell and rolled on the floor.

I looked around looking totally dazed and confused.

A lady tried to help me with the grapes, but I just thanked her.

Panic rising.

D

A

B

D

A

Ensues.

(Grief Cycle by Kübler-Ross)

Not to mention that I am running late for work.

Tumakbo ako palabas ng istasyon.

I needed some fresh air.

Pero kahit na napakadulas ng mga kalye sa Berlin dahil sa nakaraang mga Snowfall, tinakbo ko pa rin siya papunta ng aking apartment.

Bank Accounts, Passwords listed, Locating my Phone, Contacts, Photos, etc.

Andami-dami ko siyempreng iniisip nun.

My mind was a mess.

Bagong experience nanaman eh.

Of course I was mad at myself!

Babalik at babalik ka sa tanong na: "What would you have done better?"

Pero naisip ko, "Tangina, anong better better ka diyan?"

The person stole my phone because he needs the money.

Schluss.

"Ano pa nga bang magagawa ko?"

Dumating ako sa trabaho at hinayaan ako ng kasamahan kong ayusin ang mga dapat ayusin:

Emailed my banks, emailed my phone network. opened Google and Samsung at the same time to locate my phone and delete all data.

It has been two days since that happened.

You know what I feel?

Stressed et Relieved.

Stressed dahil andami kong kailangang gawin to protect my personal data.

The phone is already lost. Wala na akong magagawa doon. But the stress of communicating with certain institutions, and the fact that I also have to secure my data is just overwhelming.

Pourqoui Relieved?

Because I felt freer.

I was so attached to my phone for everything that I do, from waking up to going to the gym to passing time at work...

It was part of my daily life.

But now that it`s gone?

Heck, ang sarap sa pakiramdam!

No longer do I check my phone from time-to-time.

No longer do I swipe up and down, like this and that, comment here and there, and message people.

Every minute I used to distract myself with my phone: checking perfumes, designer shoes, trips abroad.

My phone does not define me.

It never had.

But for that time, it felt like it defined who I was as a person - as a human.

Andami-dami ko pa palang kayang gawin without my phone.

I can hear, collect and reflect on my thoughts better.

I can meditate longer.

I can write on my journal with much more depth and ease.

I can talk more intimately with friends and acquaintances.

It was surely a bittersweet lesson.

I know, I know babalik pa rin ako sa panahon na gagamit ako ng phone ko to live day-to-day.

As of the moment I am checking online what phone to purchase next.

But I also made a vow to attach and detach accordingly.

Because life is just too wonderful to waste it online.

Comprends tous?