Victor

 

Manila, Philippines 2020. ECQ Day 30.

 

My head was throbbing from an afternoon nap. I pulled my laptop from the sleeve, turned its power on, and waited for it to open. I entered my PIN - **** - PLEASE WAIT.

 

“Here I go again.” I mumbled.

 

I thought we had it all figured out. I thought the government had it all figured out. I thought the people had it all figured out. But here we are: Some scrambling for food; some waiting for the government’s help; some waiting from companies for a call, a text, or an email; some fighting to survive their daily devils.

 

I was the latter. Jobless, nearly penniless with government-mandated contributions piling up and struggling with my depression. It was one of those days where I have been searching for hundreds of companies, hoping to get an answer from one of them. My options were nearly 0 to nil.

 

Pressing the Yahoomail icon – 0 messages. I cringed. I then opened Linkedin, Jobstreet, JobsDB, Kalibrr and Facebook Jobs. I was desperate. I needed something to get my mind off home. My head throbbed again. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.

 

The numbers are increasing. We hear the news that the numbers are doubling. Hospitals are getting full to the brim: PGH, Lung Center of the Philippines, RITM are not allowing patients anymore. We have heard comrade healthcare workers who have fallen and lost the battle: doctors and nurses, especially. We have heard relatives of relatives who have fallen from battle.

 

We, too, are nearly falling from this battle from an invisible giant we cannot seem to extinguish.

 

The government’s efforts have been fruitless, to say the least. There is no stopping this virus. And it not only is affecting lives of thousands of people but a massive surge of loss of livelihood and income. The country was really in total mess.

 

“Never give up. Do not give up.” I strongly encouraged myself while I opened my eyes and pressed at recommended jobs shown on the screen.

 

While the government figured out contingency plans, press conferences and tallied total recoveries and deaths, we, the people are placing our hands together for restoration of faith on ourselves – humanity.

 

Donation drives, charity events and small acts of kindness do not go unnoticed. This is the Filipino people I have known and loved. They are part also of an invisible force greater than this pandemic – empathy.

 

Our country is at two faces: the best and the worst. And while everyone is suffering because of what is happening as of the moment, there are also times of beautiful scenarios such as random people helping less fortunate people getting fed daily, family members supporting each other – no matter what the cost.

 

And then the government could not sustain the economy on hard lockdown anymore: From Enhanced Community Quarantine to Modified Enhanced Community Quarantine (MECQ), then from MECQ to General Community Quarantine. People started going out and working again. I, too, found a job during MECQ. I finally felt human again. We were somehow able to go back to how things were pre-pandemic.

 

Then the numbers tripled, no, quadrupled! From hundreds to thousands. And yet the government is telling us a whole different story: That bed capacities of certain hospitals are still okay, that they are still doing great despite what the statistics are showing, that the vaccines will be going on a great roll-out, and people will be vaccinated – young and old.

 

Everyone all prayed and hoped for this day to come! We celebrated with friends and relatives and forgot the norms even if we are still under the curse of the pandemic. Restaurants, gyms, spas and malls opened once again to the people. Oh how happy everyone was…

 

Manila, Philippines 2021. ECQ Day 7.

 

I remembered it oh-so-well. It was a Friday. The government had just announced that we are back to ECQ. The dark phase where people lost livelihood and lives. We are back in this cycle together. Some mockingly called it Season 2. Some took their anger thru social media with their disgust and hate. Some even sarcastically called it non-essential.

 

All I know is that the country cannot afford the losses anymore. More than the billions of pesos already spent and loans tripling on the line, people are feeling hopeless and vulnerable once more. And people feeling these are more prone towards depression and suicide – one of the silent killers of the world.

 

We should not have done it. We all know this. Yet, we must stay once again inside our houses and do what we can to keep the virus under control. No malls. No gyms. No spas. No unnecessary gallivanting around.

 

As I am writing my thoughts down with a throbbing headache during Holy Week, I think back and reflect on what could have been done should proper education, dissemination information and policy regulation been strictly followed. We are a bull-headed population, like a spoiled brat breaking parents’ rules. We defy what we had been told. That, we have to admit.

 

But I am also positive that as a Filipino, we are resilient and malleable – like a metal or a bamboo – able to withstand the harshest of conditions. This state we are going through is all temporary, just like how our lives were last year.

 

We cannot give up. We have to keep on fighting: just as other countries are fighting for their survival, just like a patient fighting for his life, and just like a struggling family fighting to survive, too. This too shall pass. We are all in this together, believe me, for I have survived depression and COVID simultaneously. It is not the easiest of tasks. But we will escape through hardships as one nation – a stronger nation. For positivity begins with telling ourselves that everything will be back to normal, soon.