Parangal

"Ma, tulog na tayo."

It was already late at night but she was still mixing the glutinous rice in a large pot.

"Sige anak mauna ka na. Kailangan pang tapusin ito kasi."

"Gising ka na lang ng maaga..."

"Hindi pwede anak walang ititinda bukas ng umaga."

My mom had done odd jobs before, from working at a canteen, to selling native delicacies at the munisipyo, to selling privilege cards to people. It might not be the "ideal" work as a HRM graduate but she did make ends meet.

Life was hard. I remembered there was a time when we were eating canned mackerel everyday, and those canned mackerels were credited on my dad's list which was paid on a "pag-nakaluwag-luwag" basis.

I have got to admit I was not the proud son that I could have been. I can see my mom's determination, hard work and effort in cooking every single day to add to the family's increasing demands, but when you compare them to your classmates' or cousins' parents who are mostly working in the corporate world with matching blazers and leather shoes...Your mom's seem nil.

And that's where I was wrong.

Each and everyday she would put all her efforts purchasing, mixing, checking, tasting, and wrapping or placing all her products to be sold. She did it with passion. She did it for love.

She did it for us.

And so Mom, now that our lives are much easier and much better I want to say thank you for everything you have done for us.

I may not say it everyday but I mean it in the proudest-son-kind-of-way.

"Proud akong maging anak mo at proud na proud akong naitaguyod niyo kami."

Of Seas and Scenes

"O, kumalma ka na?"

My friend asked me the other night.

I slowly placed my hands behind my head and lay on the bed. I looked above and observed the bed's design. Classic yet refined.

I tried looking for the right reply to his question...

"Oo, I would like to think so." I said.

"Hay, mabuti naman kumalma ka na." And smiled.

I smiled back. "Yeah. It's about time. You get to a certain point in time when you think things through. Hindi na padalos-dalos na desisyon or fickle-minded decisions. Tumatanda na tayo. Alam mo yan!"

We laughed on bed.

Humiga na din siya katabi ko.

Naririnig namin ang hampas ng alon sa baybay. Masarap pakinggan. Nakakawala ng stress.

"I think we get to a point that your emotions are still intense but it's less intense now, more rational." I continued. "There was a point in my life where I was so irrational and illogical that all my decisions were all bad decisions. Ganoon kalala."

"I understand you, dear."

I looked at him and nodded.

"I remembered one time when I broke up immediately with a guy and I will never, ever forget what he said."

"What did he say?"

"There will come a time in your life where you will regret this."

"At naniwala ka naman?" Looking surprised.

"In some ways, oo, kasi that was like a spur-of-the-moment decision. Hindi ko inisip ang sitwasyon. I only thought of myself. Stupid."

"Pero was it a push comes to shove moment?"

"Hindi. I was just young and indecisive. Plus, ang yabang ni kuya. Urban Planner for Ayala eh!"

We laughed lightly.

"Hindi lang naman ikaw ang dumaan diyan. I know alam mo yan."

"Oo naman. Naisip ko lang yung desisyon kong iyon. I didn't regret breaking up with him but what I regretted was how I could have handled the situation."

I looked outside. It was pitch black yet the sea still was so energetic, with waves coming back and forth with the wind marrying the sound from afar.

"Natuto na ako. Sobra. Lalo na sa huli ko." I honestly told him. "At sinabi ko sa sarili ko that I will try to give everything to my partner now. Lahat ng hindi ko naibigay sa ex ko, I will make sure I give every little detail. And if it doesn't work again? Then I will learn from them again."

And again.

I finally closed the light, kissed his forehead and blanketed ourselves to sleep.

“You see, some things I can teach you. Some you learn from books. But there are things that, well, you have to see and feel.” Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini