The Ones Who Win The War

Nishiboy suddenly messaged me in Facebook.

"Honey, I'm stressed."

We don't really talk much so I was a little surprised.

"Oh, what's stressing you out?" I asked.

"I've been dating this guy for a week now. We saw each other daily for the past week and now he..."

"What?"

"He is dating another guy now."

"Hay, honey, I know where you are coming from."

"I really like him, G."

"But what about your boy, the one you were head-over-heels when we last saw each other in O Bar?"

"I told him to stop anymore. He was being passive for the past weeks and I just felt it was time for me to let go because that was going nowhere."

"Oh..."

"But here's the thing, now he's the one pursuing."

"I see. What's your decision then?"

"We will talk when he gets home from Europe but as far as I am concerned, it's over."

"Boys, they're nothing but trouble and heartaches. :)"

"I know, G."

"So what's next for us Nishiboy?"

"I don't know."

"I don't too."

Sometimes we wonder too much what future awaits for gays like us: one minute you were happy with him and the next thing you know, you part ways. Most of us have been in there. We have done that and we have done them oh so many times that we can't help wondering and wandering.

We have lost innumerably, which begs the question:

Will we ever win?

Adjustment Period

"I hate people who can't adjust!"

The guy I was talking through Hornet told me one Sunday afternoon.

"I'm sorry, I can't go there late. The transportation will be difficult for me."

I replied.

"Stop saying sorry, you're only making yourself look pathetic."

He nonchalantly texted back.

I stopped.

You see, I always had trouble adjusting. Most people I know adjust fairly easily - work, environment, family - almost everything.

I don't. The moment I feel that it will be of inconvenience, I don't give in.

Sure I could adjust when it comes to school or gym days or the time I eat, but bookings, work, and sometimes, even social life, I reject the idea.

This much has troubled me in the past and still haunts me up till now.

That is how I think. That is how it goes. But definitely - sooner or later - I have to adjust whether I like it or not.