Done

That's it. I'm done. Finished.

I told myself yesterday while I was walking towards campus for class. For the past several weeks I had been trying too hard for people to notice me.

Why do I want to be noticed?

Honestly I just want the attention? I don't even know why I need it but it seemed like I just wanted to have attention.

I have been trying hard to increase my weightlifting as well as running just for people to notice me. No one did.

I am not even sure where this post is going, but one thing is for sure, I am over trying to vie for attention.

It had been a difficult time for me.

Perhaps I just needed a cute guy to notice me at school? At work? At the gym? At the LRT and MRT?

Who knows?

I remember when I used to go to clubs earlier, I won't leave the club without guys getting my number. Yes I am bragging right now but let me finish.

So there I was minding my own business inside the club and just having a great time. Guys would just come up to me and ask me for my number. I was never the one to initiate. Never the one to ask first. I was THAT guy.

And then recently I went to the club, it has not changed much, perhaps the people were different but the vibe and aura were still the same.

Yet the more I observed the more I saw how the landscape changed.

Or did it?

Or was it me that changed?

That the boy who used to get boys without even trying was not being noticed anymore.

I never felt so isolated in my life.

And with the rise of the sun, I left.

I am done trying too hard.





"So change is good for all the good reasons, and bad for all others."