A Letter To My Former Lover And To Me
It has been a year since we parted ways.
It felt like a decade had passed.
I can still remember the times we were together: laughing as if there's no tomorrow, sharing stories like the world would end that day, and enjoying moments in the dark. Those truly were moments I would treasure.
That night, the night that we broke off, we were dining in a Chinese restaurant in Ayala. It was so vivid, the people, the place, all were happy, festive mood, cheerful to say the least. But I wasn't. I was nervous. And sad. Mostly sad.
I remember the child who was sitting in front of us, her smile was affectionate. Yet I looked at you with worry, trying to roll out my feelings on what had been disturbing me for the past few weeks.
"You don't have to tell yourself everyday that you love him."
A wise friend told me that.
"But we have been through a lot of ups and downs."
And yet that was not enough.
And so came the conclusion that it just wasn't working for us anymore. For me at least. You might say that I have been irrational, and yes, I admit it and I have apologized for that a thousand times. And I will again should you wish.
Here I am looking for something again. For now I do not know.
Is it love?
Is it companionship?
Is it lust?
That yet remains to be answered.
Shall we meet each other again?
And have a reconciliation?
Perhaps...
It felt like a decade had passed.
I can still remember the times we were together: laughing as if there's no tomorrow, sharing stories like the world would end that day, and enjoying moments in the dark. Those truly were moments I would treasure.
That night, the night that we broke off, we were dining in a Chinese restaurant in Ayala. It was so vivid, the people, the place, all were happy, festive mood, cheerful to say the least. But I wasn't. I was nervous. And sad. Mostly sad.
I remember the child who was sitting in front of us, her smile was affectionate. Yet I looked at you with worry, trying to roll out my feelings on what had been disturbing me for the past few weeks.
"You don't have to tell yourself everyday that you love him."
A wise friend told me that.
"But we have been through a lot of ups and downs."
And yet that was not enough.
And so came the conclusion that it just wasn't working for us anymore. For me at least. You might say that I have been irrational, and yes, I admit it and I have apologized for that a thousand times. And I will again should you wish.
Here I am looking for something again. For now I do not know.
Is it love?
Is it companionship?
Is it lust?
That yet remains to be answered.
Shall we meet each other again?
And have a reconciliation?
Perhaps...
When you're dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.
ReplyDeleteawww..
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the grief you're going through. I entered the blogosphere nursing a broken heart. However, I did learn that if it never worked, you met him to impart or learn a lesson and you'll meet someone better
ReplyDeleteHas it been a year? Hay ... Would it help if I say that in another year, perhaps you'll feel differently. Maybe by then you would already know what you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteK