And So I Read, And So I Learned.

According to Sigmund Freud, Defense Mechanisms are methods of attempting to protect the self and cope with basic drives or emotionally painful thoughts, feelings or events. He even added that most of these mechanisms operate at the unconscious level of awareness, so people are not aware of what they are doing and often need help to see the reality.

Note on the third sentence that MOST are driven unconsciously, so being the ever inquisitive person that I am, I tried to research the net and check what are those that are unconscious and conscious.

Upon checking, I couldn't see any explanation nor any differentiation of the conscious defense mechanisms from the unconscious but something I read struck me -  a defense mechanism so familiar, yet, the term used is not in my vocabulary.

Self-fulfilling Prophecy. 

It is a distorted mechanism in which you falsely attribute to others your own unacceptable feelings, but here you remain aware of the feelings yet believe they are justifiable actions to another person.

A good example here is an insecure person who has an intense fear of abandonment who, in the long run might have strong ideas of suspicion and infidelity that in time, they get sick of these feelings and eventually lead to genuine abandonment.

And as the explanation goes, it is rooted within our childhood memories or more especially if there is familial abuse. Growing up with ongoing abuses will make you think irrationally and will start blaming yourself for the abuse made or done to you.

Just like sex and the pleasure it brings which continues as a sumptuous and addictive cycle, same goes for the person afflicted albeit, in an emotional turmoil, emotional suicide kind of way.

You know that feeling when you have a partner yet still look, book and flirt with someone?

You know that saying, what the person doesn't know won't hurt him?

You know that suspiciousness creeping inside your mind convincing you, what if my partner is doing the same?

You know that thinking of being punished for the reason you can't fathom?

You know that trying to comprehend the question, what did I do wrong?  

Yes, that is exactly one and the same.

And I rarely think when I'm about to sleep.

But it got me thinking. Are we bound to have a self-fulfilling prophecy? Do we always have to delve into our guilty pleasures and feel strongly guilty after?

Good thing though is that there is a solution to this ballistic, lucrative, disgusting cycle bound to destroy not only your life but also of others. And that is ACCEPTANCE - that other people tried to inflict emotional and psychological harm on you unconsciously but you are not to be blamed for their hostility and unacceptable behavior. So in turn you can stop thinking that you deserve those abusive treatments and finally stop punishing yourself unconsciously with all those resentments and negative emotions all boiling up inside.

I'm going to try this tomorrow so please Help Me God.

Update: I just hope my Dad won't EVER, EVER, EVER tell my Mom what happened or else I'm going to give him a memorable self-fulfilling prophecy if he does! ;)