Death Of A Decade

On April 24, 2003 Bed Manila opened its doors to gay clubbers. It was not the start of gay clubbing and how Malate came to be, but it was when clubbing made such progression to new heights, that the Manila gay club scene would not be what it is now.

As a young gay clubber in Manila I also started going to Malate and its offerings. Bed was already three years old when I happen to visit Malate out of my curiousity to see what it is like to party with people like us.

Unfortunately Bed was closed that time as that was a Tuesday.

Chelu and Obar were the first clubs I have tried. Obar back then was still free of admission and Chelu was still more of a chill-and-videoke type place.

Then there was Fluid, a twinks and yuppies place where the entrance was cheap and the crowd was good enough that I didn't even dare think of entering Bed. When Fluid closed down, it was then that I decided to enter Bed and see what the fuss is all about in the very infamous club I have been hearing from schoolmates. Groping and booking notwithstanding.

You have to admit, Bed is a club for the 'elitists'. Entrance fee that time already was a whopping Php300.00, and at that time, a student can barely afford to go inside, save for those who are on the VIP list. Believe me, I used to save my allowance just to get in!

My fondest memory was when McVie, Tristan, LondonBoy, Carrie, and Mugen and I partied the night away. It was McVie's birthday back then. And he was also the one who introduced me to the ledge.

Oh, that legendary ledge. Where you feel like a god even for the night! Where the platform provides you that sense of power and energy to go on through the night, just dancing away. That's where my love for the ledge sprouted. And it doesn't matter if people look at you from beneath trying to get your attention or not, or you just feel the music and the rhythm. You and the ledge are all that matters.

Songs like Fashionista, I Just Wanna F*cking Dance, Absolutely Not, etc. were being played by the DJ and you got hammered by the betraying alcohol and the enchanting sound. Nothing amounts to that feeling.

But just like any other superclubs, Bed had its time of rising and falling...

When news got out that the club was burned, people were in disbelief. I for one was saddened by the news but I have long not stepped into its premises for more than a year.

People looked for places to go, clubbers scrambled over Metro Manila just to check any new gay clubs around their areas, and as it was perfect timing, a club in Ortigas rose. With the hopes of the young and not-so-young gay clubbers to be entranced.

For more than two years, Bed remained close. Shut down from the rising pink population. Some people missed the club. Some did not.

Then news broke out that Bed was re-opening again! People were spreading the good news like wildfire. I too were telling acquaintances of the event.

Unfortunately, the re-opening was much criticized for its sky-high entrance fee. The place got bigger and better in many ways one could enumerate but the crowds dwindled in numbers. People went there because of nostalgia. I was just at home resting that time.

Since Bed's reopening, I only went there thrice: the Love Yourself Anniversary last year, the official launching of Hornet last month, and lastly, the Farewell Party last April 27, 2013.

Yes folks, Bed, our Bed, the Bed we have been going to for several years will be closing and transferring to a new place.

MGG, Mugen, Nishiboy, Daredevilry, and Discreet Manila were all there to witness the last hurrah. All were in high spirits even if it was short-lived. We were there. We were present. We gave all our energy because soon we know it will be over.

So it's not really because Bed is closing down. It's more of 'What will happen to Malate now?'

That, we will see in the coming years.

Grooming 101

Every man is different. We groom differently, dress differently.

Grooming 101 suggests three steps on keeping the face oil-free and looking fresh: wash, tone, moisturize. We need to live with this mantra.

Here are some of the most essential needs of men that one cannot live without:

1. Facial wash. Yes, you read it perfectly... facial wash. Recently, I have been purchasing facial products that turned out to be not so good, with my face drying up every now and then and making me compensate by applying moisturizer, which in turn made my face shinier. Not cute. I used to have Celeteque, Pond's Glacial Clay, Pond's Activated Carbon, and a Garnier Facial Wash simultaneously in my stash with each one of them being applied daily.

Stick with the basics. A non-comedogenic/hypo-allergenic facial wash. I am currently using Dove soap for Men which works perfectly. I still use the Glacial Clay, though.

2. Toner. Facial washes are insufficient in eliminating dirt and grime off our face. Most of the time, even with the initial application, oil still thrives in our pores especially those with large pores. The most useful technique is to use a toner after bath. It not only makes your face cleaner but it also cools and minimizes pores.

Avid Eskinol for Men user for years. Never failed me, although I prefer using the anti-pimples than the deep cleanser as the latter has small beads in it that is really rough on my skin. For best results use once daily. Using too much can cause dry skin. Try also either the Body Shop's, Neutrogena's, or L'oreal.

3. Moisturizers. These products can be quite tricky as the female counterparts have a lot to offer - day creams, night creams, pore minimizers, lifting action, age-defying - all offering to make us look our best. But honestly, day creams and night creams doesn't make a difference at all. At all.

When looking for a moisturizer always keep in mind to look for a water-based one as oil-based products clog the pores. Olay is great. It really is one of the best there is but just not for me. A good option too is VMV Hypoallergenics' moisturizer. Neutrogena's Hydroboost is good too. I am currently using Myra-E though. It works well, it's cheap, and it has SPF 15 to protect me from the sun's rays.

4. Facial Scrubs. Sometimes facial cleansers are not enough to take out oil, that's why facial scrubs were invented. Be wary though that facial scrubs can dry and damage your skin if used daily. And take note too that the best time to use this is post-strenuous activity i.e. workout, jogging, muay thai, boxing - mostly activities that produces sweat a lot. Two to three times a week should be fine.

Try Nivea's Facial Scrub or Neutrogena's Deep Clean or perhaps Celeteque's variant. I have been using the first one for quite some time now.

5. Body Lotion. Honestly, I don't have the luxury of time to rub lotion all over my extremities. Lotions, at least for me, are only relegated for my hands. And because lotions can be heavy on the skin and block the pores. Some people though cannot live without spreading them on their arms and legs.

Jergen's and Vaseline have always been the top brands when you think of lotions. They provide the right amount of moisture to your skin throughout the day. Some variants have scents in them but the less scent the better.

Of note is that you have to determine what skin type you have whether dry, oily, mixed, or sensitive. Those with the first three are lucky because supermarkets are loaded with them, however, for those sensitive types, you first must consult a dermatologist and sometimes specially-formulated ones are better for them. Which really are expensive.

5. Nose hair clippers. Yes, nose hair clippers. This is one of the most important equipment you need to have in your grooming kit. Nose hair peeking out of your nose is synonymous with booger. They are a complete turn off and totally unnecessary. Yes they are needed for thermal regulation and block out foreign materials but they need to be trimmed, out of sight from people or worse, dates.

6. Shaves. Facial hair is cool. I have some too but don't be a barbarian and let it grow long, unruly, and unkempt, especially those who are hairy by nature. Of course Gillette by far is the most known brand.

Rules on armpit hair: If you wear baby-sleeve shirts shave them. If not, go ahead and create a virgin forest. You don't want your armpit hair sticking out of your sleeve when riding a public vehicle or simply sitcking out of your sleeve whenever you lift your arms. It just looks very unhygienic and unsightly like illegal settlers.

Pubic hair on the other hand needs to be trimmed/shaved too depending on your preference. Why? Because bacteria grows in moist environment and the more hair you have, the more they thrive. That is why some guys have that awful stench in between their legs. And that is abso-effin'-lutely disgusting. So if you make love to a guy with a rainforest down there...oh well, charge it to experience.

Lastly, nails on the hands and feet grow on a ratio of 1:4, respectively. And you trim your nails squarely not on a convex shape.

We are men and we have to admit that sometimes grooming is not our forte but times are changing, one must be aware that being presentable is a must always whether at work, gym, mall, or just even out of the house really.

You don't want to look haggard and unfresh. Just like a boy scout, be prepared.

Look your best in any situation - club scene or work scene.

And yes, straight men are not excluded.

Being Lacto-ovo-vegetarian

Weird.

People used to say that to me when I tell them my diet. I guess for Filipinos it's not typical for someone to be a vegetarian given the abundance of meat in the country.

Honestly, I never really expected to take this path. I used to love pork chops, fried chicken, beef steak, shrimp sinigang, and other dishes with meat on them. There was even a time I ate beef a lot because I wanted to gain mass.

But that all changed when I saw the news on the "Crush video".

Have you heard or seen it? Videotaped by a couple, it shows animals being squished with their bare foot from rabbits to rats, you name it, they probably would have squished it to death.

Animal cruelty. So there I was thinking "Why would people even want to hurt animals?" It was unbelievable and yet undeniably existing among us especially people who did not have proper education. The moment I watched the news about those animals, I know I had to take action. After that incident I immediately signed in to PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) and also posted status updates relating to animal advocacy. I'm not an active member let me tell you that however I am still active in my own way.

That's when I first started to cut back the pork and beef, initially, and retain seafood and chicken. I know, I should have taken them all out immediately but it was a work in process. Taking protein sources out of your diet instantaneously is dangerous for one's health. I should know, my life revolves around dieting.

I eliminated beef and pork in April 2011 then after seven months I took out all other seafoods except fish, and retained chicken.

For more than a year I lived on chicken breast, chicken hotdogs, cream dory, boneless milkfish, and eggs.

Then when I lost my job October last year, I decided to take out chicken. It was automatic. I still had chicken hotdogs left in the freezer and my Mom was telling me to finish them but I decided to stop eating chicken. That was difficult as I am not really fond of fish. Growing up with milkfish and tilapia as staples made me less enthusiastic on eating those again - thank goodness for cream dory - but that was short-lived because two weeks after I eliminated chicken, I eliminated fish too and decided to go lacto-ovo-vegetarian.

Giving up on meat products when you were so fond of them even as a child really made it difficult. I had to find alternatives on where to get my protein as there was no way I will go back on eating animal products again.

But how about eggs, you say? Well initially when I thought about going full vegan, it would kill me. Firstly because I thrive on bread (I eat rice on an every other day basis usually after gym) and we all know bread contain eggs. So in the end I had to make a hard decision to not take eggs out of my diet.

What was it like? During the first weeks I realized how my energy depleted very easily and that I cannot stay in the gym for more than an hour and a half, my endurance decreased, and my nutrition made a 180-degree turn.


What do I eat now? Tofu, gluten, and eggs are my staple. They provide the needed protein and energy without resorting to animal products, plus you can experiment a lot because they have neutral tastes. So in a way it lets me be creative with cooking (re: not my forte).

I am happy with how things turned out. Of course I still dream of biting into a juicy burger or biting into a meat-loaded pizza but I can curb those temptations.

Animals are our friends: they make us happy. I can attest how many pet owners there are who can say the same as I can. This is me speaking on behalf of them and not some Disney princess who lives in the woods with deers, rabbits, squirrels, and birds helping her with her chores.

Being an animal advocate is my contribution. It has a good purpose, I think. I may have sacrificed a lot in order to at least salvage some of them from being put into my mouth but I know it's worth it. And caring for them is well worth it.

So should you.

If you see signs of animal abuse or maltreatment, don't hesitate to contact PETA immediately. Animals have lives too, you know.

This Boy, This Little Boy Part 3

I remembered when anonymous and non-anonymous bloggers were still mostly communicating through, er, blogs. Mugen and Soltero published entries what most people don't know about them. I followed suit but I only reached until 75. I plan to finish it to 100. Here they are:

76. I have been a strict lacto-ovo-vegetarian for nearly six months. Hard but well worth it.

77. Sometimes, I push people away to avoid getting hurt.

78. I now have Grindr and Hornet in my phone! Yahoo!

79. My PR account got deactivated months ago from non-usage. Oh well.

80. I've just recently used Skype.

81. My Facebook account won't let me change my name anymore.

82. I just realized how Tanduay Ice makes me happy! Wheeeee!

83. I have a food journal where I log everything I eat. Started that two years ago.

84. Working in McKinley now. Eon/Daredevilry works next building. Yes, we do go out and chat somtimes.

85. I had s*x with his boyfriend once. Relax, it's just oral. :)

86. I don't purchase my books at National, Powerbooks, or Fully Booked anymore. It's Book Sale for me. baby!

87. I love tofu!

88. Addicted to Big Bang Theory.

89. I have just completed Amy Tan's fiction novels. So happy!

90. "Interesting" is my favorite word.

91. Coldplay and The Script are my favorite alternative bands. The Hardest Part and Exit Wounds, respectively.

92. I prefer sandos than shirts. Tank tops for those.

93. Last time I went to Bed bar was the formal launching of Hornet. Oh yeah, Bed is transferring to Greenfields in Mandaluyong. Farewell party by the 27th of April.

Memories. *Sniff *Sniff

94. I'm in love with high-cut shoes. I have no idea why but I feel more confident wearing them.

95. Speaking of being lacto-ovo-vegetarian, I make exceptions like pizza where I just take out the meat. Duh, it's pizza!

96. I love watching bareback porn.

97. I think Grindr guys are getting more and more overrated.

98. Still no abs. Grrr...

99. Blogging for me is still very much alive.

100. And I have yet to understand the concept of love thyself.

Sweet Boys

I was quietly sipping Jack Daniel's and Coke on the corner of Uno Lounge. It was Vackie's birthday and Kane invited me.

Gosh, I curse Jack Daniel and its potency. No food, just booze. Everyone seems to be alright with the set-up.

"Hey, how have you been?" Kane asked while I was busy gulping my liquor.

"I am good. As always."

"No boys lately?" He asked.

"None. As always."

He laughed. "Okay."

"Hay, it's hard to find someone decent nowadays!" I told him.

"I know, I know. Hey, talk to you later, my crush is here."

"Where?"

"There." He pointed towards the door. "You see G, I had this crush on him for the longest time."

I looked at the guy, very cute and very presentable too. A little taller than I am. Very cute.

And off he went to talk to his crush while I continued to drown myself with Jack Daniel's plus Mr. Bacardi joined us too.

Observing the two talk it was interesting, like old friends catching up. I was quite far so I wasn't able to hear their conversation but still, it was fun.

After how many rounds of drinking and me already feeling light-headed and tipsy I just realized that the two are still not finished talking.

The sun was rising and people were leaving the place, even Vackie had already left the place yet me, Kane, his crush were still there.

"OMG, this is like the longest flirtation I have ever seen." I was amusing myself because I was tired.

After a few minutes Kane bade goodbye to his crush. And we also went home.

A few days later I texted Kane: "Hey, sooooo, what happened back there?"

"Where?"

"In the club with Patrick. God, that was a long flirtation. Were you disappointed?"

"Ay, Patrick and I already dated."

"What?! When?"

"About last year, November."

"And then?"

"And then what?" He asked.

"No s*x?"

"None. It was a date only. We just had lunch."

"I see."

"Besides he's a sweet boy."

"What does that mean?"

"He only has s*x with his partner."

"Really? Hmmm... aren't we used to be like him?"

"Honey, we are beyond redemption."

I literally laughed loud upon reading his text.

Yet it got me thinking, s*x is easier to have nowadays. One conversation can already lead to bed. But why do we have to always give in to our urges? Because they're urges per se? I am not being prude. I am not being righteous here. That's not the point. I would like to try it again, sleeping with the guy I truly love. Appreciating every second next to him, just with him and only him. I would like to try sleeping with the guy I know by surname, first name and middle name and not just his first name or nickname. I would like to try sleeping with the guy who knows who I am, where I work, what I do, what my goals are, what my future plans are, and what my future plans are with him.

But for now, I'll keep Patrick's ideal in mind and that should do.