Here I am, back to square one.
The beginning of beginnings.
The start of yet another search.
"So how are you?" Asked my friend over the phone after I told him.
"I am ambivalent. I am happy we ended in good terms but I am sad too." I passively replied.
"Why?" He inquired.
"I am happy because there was not any trace of anger or frustration. Hurt, yes, that is normal. But what is more to say? I have told him that. Sad because you know, I am tired. You know, looking for a partner can be the most tiresome of all - the dates, the getting to know phases, the instincts, the sparks everything comes into full play."
"I understand G. A break-up like that because at the back of your head you were thinking 'what if we take another chance, what if we can still try, what if there somehow there is a way to make it just like before?'"
"Yes, exactly how I felt. But you know, I told him, the world is small yet possibilities
are endless. It may have ended but sometime, perhaps..." I was at a loss for words.
are endless. It may have ended but sometime, perhaps..." I was at a loss for words.
I suddenly looked up to the sky and I felt my neck tightening up. Tears trickled down both cheeks.
Then regaining my composure, "But for now, I am not fine, but soon, I will be. Thank you."
"Of course you will be."
And he hung up the phone while I went inside our house to finally take a good rest.
"This is why dreams can be such dangerous things: they smolder on like a fire does, and sometimes consume us completely." - Sayuri, Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden.
