Was ist los?
Was passiert ist?
Was machst du?
Ehrlicherweise habe ich keine Ahnung.
I am lost. Feeling overwhelmingly lost. I have been for the past month or two.
I have lost interest in most of the activities I have adored: reading books, reading medical researches, journaling, playing video games, meditating.
All gone.
What's left are my new best friends to comfort me through this phase: Escitalopram, Sertraline and Mirtazapine.
When I was living in the Philippines, my depression and anxiety was very well-controlled. I rarely took my medication. Twice a month at most.
Now, I am taking them daily just to get by. And it kills me to say, I have become dependent on them.
They keep me from having bad thoughts, keep my mood level elevated, and help me sleep at night.
I don't know. I don't really know what's in store for me. I don't even want to think about it.
All I know is life is not enjoyable right now. No matter which perspective I see it.
But I'm still here. I'm still breathing and living.
Perhaps there is still hope.
Vielleicht...
